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to think that this doctor had the worst bedside manner in the world (warning, grim miscarriage story)

2 replies

jamtomorrow1 · 03/11/2014 12:11

I was until very recently 10 weeks' pregnant. After a couple of days of spotting I started bleeding very heavily overnight on Friday/Saturday just gone and went to A&E on medical advice at about 4am. I saw a very nice triage nurse then waited for half an hour before a woman came and got me from the waiting room. She didn't introduce herself beyond 'I am the doctor'. She took me and my husband to a consultation room. At this point I had a sudden gush of blood and it became horribly apparent that it was all too much for my night time sanitary towel and indeed my underwear. I explained what had happened and asked for a loo. She disappeared without any explanation, then reappeared several minutes later saying, 'I can't find any pads, now can you get on the examination table'. She then examined me with a speculum, without any sort of explanation of what she was doing, and started pulling out, er, stuff. She said very abruptly, 'Yes, you've had a miscarriage.' Until this point I was still cautiously optimistic that perhaps things might be ok so this was all rather sudden. She then held up a lump which to me at least looked distinctly embryo-ish in her tweezers and said, 'You see, this is foetal tissue, not just clots. It is a miscarriage.' At this point I slightly lost it. I should say that she hadn't asked if my husband would like to hold my hand or even come and stand with me rather than sitting on the other side of the curtain. She rounded things off by answering my question about how long I would bleed for by saying that it would be about the same length of time as if I'd given birth.

I am now wondering whether to make a formal complaint. I am almost certain that I am not just being oversensitive. This really was completely awful, wasn't it? I am still having flashbacks to the thing with the tweezers.

KatieMumsnet · 04/11/2014 10:16

Hi jamtomorrow1

So very sorry for your loss and the awful treatment you received, I really hope you get a strong response to your complaint.

I also just wanted to let you and everyone else on the thread know about our miscarriage campaign. Started in response to many cases of poor care and treatment shared on Mumsnet, the campaign is now asking for all political parties to commit to improving miscarriage care in their 2015 manifestos. So far Labour have agreed, but we're yet to have formal backing from the Lib Dems and Conservatives.

If anyone wants to share the campaign on social media, please do use the hashtag #miscarriagecare , more details here

KatieMumsnet · 04/11/2014 14:24

Thanks jamtomorrow1 do keep us updated and let us know if there's anything we can add. We'll keep pushing at a national level for support from all the parties, and keep you posted.

Watch this thread for updates

Tap "Watch" to get all the latest updates

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