...to scream and yell at my kids for not doing any work during half-term

[WotchOotErAPolis]

i have just lost it with my DS11 as he now says he won't do his last piece of homework today [due in tomorrow].

i have spent years and years on this particular issue as I have 3 DSs, none of whom has ever seen the point of homework and will only do it lazily, reluctantly and often not at all.

DS15 says he has studied this week but when challenged, can't produce any evidence at all as he says he's been reading his text books and doing work online. i can't just go in and check his compute history as he's out today and has switched off his PC, which is password-protected [by him, as despite my ancient IT degree, I can't read his mind].

Should I just give up and leave them to it, knowing that they might get worse grades than they should / detentions / etc? I can't get them to figure out that if they did a little work most days, did their homework the day it is set, produced some notes that I can actually see to prove that they've done something, life would be so much easier.

I have tried withdrawing privileges but they don't get pocket money anyway; cancelling music lessons would just hurt their teacher [who is a good friend and very short of money, so I'm reluctant to use him as a pawn]; they don't socialise much [another story] so banning them from seeing friends makes no difference; we don't take them out for cinema / trips / meals much as they don't seem to appreciate it when we do.

Is this a case of "just let them stew in their own mess"? I feel it's just giving up on my job as their Mum? Or am I being over-sensitive? Help!

I don't blame you for losing it, but you've done a good job so far and there's no need to quit, you know it's for their own good and they really need to do the homework so do keep telling them. My parents gave up telling me to do homework - in the end they would make a half-hearted attempt at telling me to go and do it, but I picked up on their half-heartedness and I decided 'well if my mum doesn't care whether or not I do my homework, it obviously isn't important, so why should I care?'.

I have to force DS into doing his work. If I didn't, he just wouldn't bother. DD usually does hers without fussing, but she's still in primary school and only gets some maths and spellings each week. I hate homework.

I agree maddy. I hate homework,and I am a teacher. I genuinely don't see the point of it at all and feel sorry for children who end up in conflicts with parents about it.

Bunbaker - my DD is at university now but i never pushed her to do homework, just pointed out that her chosen career would require going to university and she'd need to achieve good grades to get there. She did well in subjects that interested her and not so well in the subjects that didn't. Still managed to get into a good university. Maybe she would have got better grades if I had pushed her more but how would she have coped at uni if she'd never learned to work by herself?
So to answer the OP, I think YABU!