to think that life is inevitably cruel, and to feel so sad about what my baby has to face?

[TheOriginalWinkly]

There have been some threads this evening about awful things happening to people's children, from the unthinkably, life shatteringly awful, down to bog standard awful. I look at my sweet innocent baby, and I think how she will suffer in life, whether through ill health, social issues, academic struggles, and when she gets older the pressures to look a certain way, and what boys in this pornified society often expect from girls, then sexism in the workplace, etc etc. I see so much pain in her future, I can try to prepare her for the world but I can't protect her from so many things.

But what about all the wonderful things that she will experience. I get no end of pleasure watching my dd's discover new things and their pure enthusiasm for life. There's so much to look forward to and yes bad things might happen but you can't dwell on that or you'll drive yourself to distraction.

I am grateful every day for how healthy she is. But I have seen enough of the world to know that good health isn't something that can be taken for granted. Part of being truly grateful, imo, is acknowledging that things could be very very different. My worry isn't based on ingratitude. Quite the opposite.

I feel like that winks. I see what the other posters are saying but I think even if your baby is perfectly healthy, you can still be hit by the reality of human existence - the small and big difficulties and painful times they will inevitably face and the fact that life does end. I too have moments of worry about DS making friends, having parties, dealing with loss and so on.

If those thoughts are intrusive or stop you enjoying life then of course see a GP but having an occasional moment of being overwhelmed is normal - well I think so anyway.

BlinkAndMiss I said in the OP I would prepare her for the world. In no way do I intend to make her expect to be a victim.

Life is suffering and being reconciled to that fact can be oddly comforting, imho, much more so than buying wholly into positive thinking bollocks It is hard to accept this when you have a gorgeous, fresh, innocent new baby, I agree.

Resilience and acceptance and mindfulness all helpful.

Original, I think you might benefit from looking on the bright side.

Be kind to yourself, and make sure you're eating healthily, sleeping as much as you can and getting out into the fresh air and sunshine(?)as much as you can..everyday.

You do sound quite down to me, and it's not unusual if you're tired and not sleeping well. Suddenly being responsible for a new baby can be a real head turner, and also it brings up feelings of (your own and your baby's) mortality and the transience of life etc which may have been unnoticed before.

See your GP if you can't shift your blue mood, OK?

It your hormones! . They are so little and so vulnerable that you just want to protect them from everything. I think it's normal to feel like that to some extent.

I have 4 DC the youngest of which is 18 and whilst I would still love to protect them from the harsher side of life i don't worry like I did when they were first born and my hormones were all over the place I'm dealing with a LOT of 'academic angst' with DC4 at the moment - it's hard and it makes me sad.

I think the posters telling you to stop worrying and that you should just grateful you have a healthy child are being a bit unkind.

missJ I think you get what I'm trying to say, pretty clumsily.

This isn't an everyday thing, feeling like this. But I'm tired, and I read some sad things on MN, and it made me feel sad this evening. I'll (hopefully) get some sleep and I'll put it to the back of my mind and get on with life.

I am genuinely sorry if I've offended anyone.

Yep life is very very hard and cruel

But it can be pretty good too

And as a adult you live for these bits nothing else

Aww winkly, I know exactly what you meant by the thread and its obvious it isn't a case of you being ungrateful for what you have at all.

I'm sure your DD has so much good to come.

I know it's a bit sad but when I do feel anxious about DS's future, I tend to think of something really innane like a kids film I loved and then get all happy that he will get to see things totally fresh and new and get all excited about life's little wonders. Best of all I get to watch.

If it makes you feel any better, it does improve as they get older. When they rely on you totally for everything and are so tiny you can scoop them up in one hand pretty much, it feels like a massive responsibility to turn them out ready for the world. Once they are a bit bigger, have had a few spats with friends, tears over not wanting to share and are able to spontaneously cuddle you and tell you they love you but also answer back and drive you up the wall, you do start to get a bit of perspective, or at least I did!

Haven't read the whole thread, but I think it's very easy to think like this when you have a very young baby. Your whole instinct is to protect them because they're so very vulnerable.

Although you will always want to protect her, it will ease off a bit with every passing year, or you'd never be able to let go of her. My tiny baby has just gone off to University and although I worry about her all the time, I know she's really enjoying herself and having lots of fun, which is what we all want I think.

Please try not to worry about the future, both you and she will "grow into it" gradually I promise!

dojo, surprise, you seem to be saying the same sort of thing as each other and it helps, thanks :)

People are suggesting that because the OP is thinking these things, she is not grateful for what she has. I'm sure she doesn't need to be told to be grateful that she has a healthy baby!
OP, it's normal to have these thoughts now and again - what sort of mother would you be if you didn't worry about your child and their future? However like other ladies have suggested, if these are regular thoughts then it might be worth a chat with your GP.

Something terrible happened in my
life just before my DS was born and as a result i suffered terribly with anxiety. I couldn't sleep most nights for worrying about all the awful things that could happen. It is treatable, you just have to ask for help if you feel you might need it x

If you think in terms of statistics, the majority of people do live relatively happy, relatively uneventful lives on the whole.
I try to avoid watching the news when I'm feeling like this and remember mn is not indicative of real life!

I completely understand what you are saying.

Life can be cruel and the thought that I can't always protect dd from that makes me sad too. Doesn't mean I will wrap her in cotton wool or not teach her to make the most of opportunities and live her life fully. Just feel a little sad sometimes that life will not always be as simple for her as it is now. It is always hearing about children having a tough time at school or with friendships/ young women having relationship issues that sets me off too!