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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick of friends non stop breastfeeding posts?

58 replies

frankie80 · 01/11/2014 18:45

I'm not at all against breastfeeding, honestly I'm not, so don't flame me.

I do however, have an issue with a certain friend who constantly, like daily, posts about breastfeeding. defiant pictures accompanied by messages about how natural it is, how its not sexual or offensive. She finished BFing about 2 years ago but continues to post about it all the time and share links.

It feels almost like a political thing - all these constant posts.

It's making me want to unfriend her because its getting on my nerves. I'd feel the same way if someone were constantly posting about how FF is okay etc.

I know I could hide her posts, but she does post some other stuff too that I do like to read/see.

AIBU to think "fuck off, I get it, you support breastfeeding so stop shoving it down our throats"

OP posts:
PrivateBenjamin · 01/11/2014 20:00

I don't know if she's going to chow down the placenta like Danaerys with the horse heart in Game of Thrones, maybe it will be dried, but she'll go into excruciating detail about it. Did you know it's a scientifically proven FACT that eating the placenta prevents PND and 'big business' is keeping the science under wraps? I just love her shit science.

milkpudding · 01/11/2014 20:00

I would just unfollow her.
Or block posts from a particular source if they are all from the same organization.
Or just scroll past them without reading.
Or spend less time reading your news feed!

Some people who are very aggressively pro-bf have faced criticism themselves for breastfeeding e.g. from family, she may be directing her posts at them, or wanting to encourage other women, basically she probably has good motives rather than seeking to annoy.

BlinkAndMiss · 01/11/2014 20:00

I have the same, it's really boring after a while and I can just kind of ignore it now as she's a nice person usually. After I had DS it was a different story, I struggled with BF and her posts made me feel like even more of a failure. I stayed away from FB actually because I felt so crap. Once I'd established FF and got used to it I went back on and her militant posts made me feel so crap again. I know people say that if you're secure in your decision then it shouldn't bother you but let's face it - it does. I was only secure in my decision because the alternative was that DS wasn't fed at all. So I wasn't secure, felt terrible and her preachy posts were awful and felt personal.

The way I see it now is that she uses Attachment Parenting to qualify herself, it's all a bit sad really because once her children are grown up she won't have that in her life anymore and she's used it to define herself. I actually almost messaged her to explain how she was making me feel but I wimped out in the end.

I think militant anything on facebook is annoying, but it'll happen. I just defriend the people I can and hide the ones who annoy me. Facebook is a pain but it's given me insight into sides of friends I didn't know existed and I've re-evaluated a lot of my friendships because of it.

confusedandemployed · 01/11/2014 20:05

I have an ex-FB friend who goes on and on about how feeding jars of baby food is akin to child abuse. Now it's not something I've ever done as it goes, but I have a good friend whose baby only eats jar food and she seems perfectly healthy to me.
I generally take massive offence to people criticising other people's perfectly valid parenting choices just because it isn't the way they do it.

Original poster
frankie80 · 01/11/2014 20:07

blink - I guess there is an element of me feeling crap as BFing didn't work for me, I had to FF but DD has not suffered for it.

Someone further up talked about BFing support groups - yes she's a member of them, why not keep it to these groups and no one gets annoyed?

Can people tell if you've unfollowed them? I'm worried now that they can!

OP posts:
confusedandemployed · 01/11/2014 20:09

Only if they try to contact you directly, I.e.write on your wall or message you. Or look at your profile.
Is it too late to just hide her posts?

Original poster
frankie80 · 01/11/2014 20:11

confused is that not the case for blocking rather than unfollowing?

OP posts:
lougle · 01/11/2014 20:12

Just click on the arrow next to each post and select 'I don't want to see this' and 'hide all from....'. Job done.

confusedandemployed · 01/11/2014 20:14

Yes. What lougle said.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 01/11/2014 20:14

I can't stand "educators" on FB. Of any description. I unfollowed (not unfriended) both SIL for her BF and "babyled-weaning" and constant "breast is best" and "gentle parenting" posts, and also her BIL for his constant pseudo political rants a la Russell Brand while his cronies would reply "BIL for prime minister!" I'm not sure whether they were secretly taking the piss but I don't think they were as they all seem to be a big group of back-patters. I'm convinced that he really thinks he is saying something deep and meaningful that no-one else has thought of as he seems to be posting more and more of it. And it's getting more and more ranty.

Can't be doing with it. What is going on in people's heads? Go and stand in Speakers' Corner in London and bore the tourists shitless/give them a laugh. It's hard to avoid on FB, unless you unfollow, which I have. But because they're family and post pictures of DN which I like to see, I have to just keep looking at their profile to see tier status updates. If they have any kind of counter app checking to see how many times people are looking at their profile it's going to make them even worse thinking that what they're saying is so WORTHY.

Meh.

raltheraffe · 01/11/2014 20:16

Why not ask her to give it a rest with all the BF posts.

I could not BF on the advice of 2 consultants due to medication I take. A "family friend" told me I was letting my baby down. I had just had ds and was still hormonal and emotional. I was in tears about it. Now I am just fuming and have avoided since

Only1scoop · 01/11/2014 20:20

Just get rid of the one wonan Breastapo and her boring posts....

Only1scoop · 01/11/2014 20:20

That would be 'woman' ....I think Smile

milkpudding · 01/11/2014 20:21

It is easy to hit the share button, I don't think anyone is thinking through their friend list about who might find something boring / silly / offensive before they click share. I have become more selective about what I share after thinking about it, previously I shared all sorts of things that I found mildly interesting or amusing.

I suppose she is sharing outside the bf ing groups because she thinks people generally should know more about breastfeeding and breast milk.

Lunastarfish · 01/11/2014 20:29

I have a friend who was posting about 10 times a day how amazing Israel is and how shit Palestine is. It was taking over my newsfeed. Her sources were very suspect. I had to stop following her posts. We are still FB friends, but I never read her dull posts anymore.

Original poster
frankie80 · 01/11/2014 20:33

so 100% if I unfollow her, she won't know?

OP posts:
WannaBe · 01/11/2014 20:34

People underestimate how bored people find their smug, self righteous, or just over-shared posts.... and the impact that can have....

I had an aquaintence on fb who posted every intimate detail about her pregnancy and people got so fed up reading about it that they hid her posts. And then when her baby was born seriously ill and almost died she of course posted the details on fb presumably as a way to update everyone symoltaniously. But because she had bored people senseless with her countless updates people had no idea what she was going through. I met another mum in the playground and said "oh it's not looking good for xx baby is it?" said she just shrugged and said "oh I hid her posts ages ago, bloody dull."

Original poster
frankie80 · 01/11/2014 20:37

in fairness, I have a cousin who posts political posts all the time and my sister always posts military wife stuff. Both very annoying/boring but as they are family I can't block them (especially as my sister lives abroad and its one way to keep in touch)

OP posts:
Booboostoo · 01/11/2014 20:41

I tend to be very careful about bf posts as I know it's a sensitive subject for a lot of people. I might share something once in a blue moon (once a year?) but not often enough for anyone to be able to guess my views on this. I did engage with a friend once who said that extended bf was unnatural and disgusting but she brought the topic up first.

I was on an extended bf group and someone on there was drinking her placenta in smoothies. Each to their own and all that, but it was a bit vomit inducing.

spongebob5 · 01/11/2014 20:41

A friend of mine in RL & FB completely got on my tits while pregnant. Posted continually about breast feeding , reusable nappies & how it was a breech of her Human rights that her midwife was perhaps not so supportive as she could have been about her having a home birth. Much eyerolling from me. Posts have stopped now she's given birth , thank god!

BuckskinnedAstronaut · 01/11/2014 20:49

frankie, if you block her she will know. If you just unfoollow her she will have no idea (and you can always check her Timeline directly if you want to see what she's up to).

milkpudding, you can create a friends list called BF and put all your FB friends who will be interested in breastfeeding posts in it. Then when you share a BF-related post set its privacy settings to your BF list and then other people won't see it. The annoying thing is that FB will then assume that that's the setting you want to use for your next posting as well so you have to reset it the next time you post something of general interest.

Original poster
frankie80 · 01/11/2014 21:03

right going to unfollow then if you are sure she won't know

ewww, placenta eating/drinking

OP posts:
BuckskinnedAstronaut · 01/11/2014 21:48

Your only issue is if you see her in person and she refers to something she posted on FB -- but FB's algorithm for which posts it shows you in your news feed is so screwy anyway that there's every chance you might not have seen a post even if you were following her avidly.

kippersmum · 01/11/2014 21:59

This so annoys me, I have 2 DD's, 15 mo apart. DD1 was an SMA girl, refused to latch on from day 1, DD2 was a boob girl & nearly drove me mad.

They are now 7 & 8, I can see no difference in how they were fed... the biggest issue as far as they are concerned is who is better at swimming :)

I so, so wish someone had told me when they were tiny that actually (flame me now) it makes no difference how you feed your child, BLW wasn't invented when mine were small, but both of them are still able to eat dinner :)

As long as your child is fed & loved you are doing great.

Cat2014 · 01/11/2014 22:06

I really don't mind people sharing things they're passionate about, even if I don't agree. I am not arrogant enough to think my way is the only way, and I like reading other points of view, or posts about things I know little about. At best I might understand more why someone thinks differently to me, or learn something. At worst I might realise someone is very ill informed - but really, it's not affecting me and if I disagree that much I can post a comment as to why!

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