To wonder about Mumsnetters and their cleaners?

[MrWallet]

I notice quite a few posts on here with people sharing various gripes about their cleaners and their lack of satisfaction with their work. I wonder why they have so much difficulty talking it through with the cleaner? Is it because they fear the cleaner taking offence? Walking out? It is not as if there is a shortage of cleaners especially in the SE where I live.

You can always ask for what you want doing and then the cleaner can do their best to comply, allowing for detail work, eg. Skirting boards, cleaning behind furniture etc if it takes more time. Appreciate your thoughts on this.

Why the hostility towards the op? Shes been around a while and fair question.

That's great MaeMobley (love the name by the way). :)

The OP's posts go back less than a week unless AS isn't working, and even then it's just the odd post dropped on a thread.

Sorry if you're upset OP (although you seem to give more than you got)

But your opening post did scream 'researcher'.

It never occurred to me I would come across as a researcher. I retaliated because I was upset by the hostility to what I thought was an interesting question. I thought the randomness was OK for AIBU but being called dim did hurt. Guess I am just too sensitive. I shall stick to the ASD support thread from now on.

PS. I have been on MNet for ages.
PPS. I needed a good cry, so every cloud has a silver lining! :)

when my cleaner started he came to interview me! we had a chat, got on, agreed the work to be done.

god there are some nasty replies around today. all the OP asked was why people can,t communicate effectively with another person, albeit the person in question being a cleaner, why jump in with lead boots

I don't think it's to do with the cleaners.

If you read other threads, you will see people who can't tell their family not to come over, can't tell someone they weren't invited to a party, can't tell their partner they're upset or sad, can't tell their mum they don't like the curtains, can't tell their partner they want this that or the other, can't tell can't tell can't tell...

I mean, of course they CAN, assuming they have the ability to speak or otherwise communicate but what it is is a fear of, I dunno, being assertive? not being 'nice'? being seen as uncooperative? Not being liked? Having someone cross with you?

I think that's what it is. some people just find it too difficult to have difficult conversations. I think the cleaner/employer thing is a red herring.

Wow! I thought troll hunting was against the rules? Or does that not apply to longterm posters? You guys have been around long enough to know If you're concerned about an OP then report it, don't start with accusations and slander.

OP, hope you're feeling better despite the unfair attacks. To answer your question I think there's still a level of a British embarrassment about 'hired help' and cleaners fall into that category sometimes. People feel uncomfortable criticising the work of someone they may feel is less socially/financially fortunate. Probably to do with the British class system. Disclaimer I don't think this but have come across it.

I have recently posted a question on MN re my cleaner and am happy to answer your question Mr Wallet.

I asked MN because I
a) do not manage people in my day job, am not very assertive and wanted to know how best to approach the situation and
b) want to be as fair as possible to my cleaner with my expectations

Hope this helps

Littlemslazy has it for me. I'm on my second cleaner but only managed to get rid of the first by moving house, despite being unhappy with her from about week 3. Absolute middle class embarrassment for me. Even getting one and "interviewing" her I got the cringe

Fucking hell poor OP

Some of you come across as pathetic as schoolgirl bullies.

"Just the odd post dropped on a thread". Is this somehow unacceptable? Must one post extensively and start lots if threads before we get "proper" mumsnet credentials??

MrWallet, please don't cry. I'm surprised myself at the rather aggressive responses of some to your (to me ) perfectly reasonable question and point.
I don't like to think of your being upset.

My dh is a cleaner. He's a school cleaner and also we both clean a holiday barn. He also does a little private cleaning when he can get it. The school and barn are more or less straightforward. The private ones are more interesting. He cleans as if his life depended on it, and is meticulous to a fault. He hasn't had any complaints. But he always asks in great detail what is required, and at the end he makes sure the client is satisfied. He will even work beyond the time allotted if the place is dirtier than usual. His clients usually give rather vague instructions at first (such as, "I'd like you to clean my kitchen please.")
But he will ask if they want the cooker dismantled, the fridge emptied, the cupboards gone through. He likes them to be specific. Obviously, even for him, there is a time limit, and they may have some jobs in mind which are priorities for them. We've been lucky, as all the folk have loved him (and perhaps me, but I reckon he's the star here!) and recommended him to others. Also. it's essential for the client to agree beforehand how much the job will cost them.

Wips yes it seems so! Although quite how you get to be a "regular" without starting with the odd post is beyond me!
I love AIBU as it's so entertaining, but it does honestly seem like people just jump in and rip OPs to shreds quite often (for no reason that I can see) And there's always a "I've checked your profile, you've only been a member for a week/only posted once/come across as a bitch on all your posts/don't homemake your own fish fingers etc etc"

MN at it's worst yet again this week!!! So sorry you have been upset OP.

I have never started a post about my cleaners on here, I can understand it if it was a sensitive situation but telling someone who you pay to do some work for you is fairly easy to sort without the help of MN IMO.

My last cleaner was great, she was reliable etc but not as thorough as I really would have liked and I know she often left earlier than the time I paid her for so probably could have been more thorough. I didn't want to say anything as she was a friend and it actually suited as we were both flexible when required. I would never have bad mouthed her to anyone at all especially as I didn't raise any issues to her at all.

My new cleaner is my mum, she is amazing and cleans things I would never have thought of which is fab!!

I've just sent my cleaner a text thanking her for how beautiful our house looked when we came back from holiday yesterday.

The reason long time posters are pointing out that a new poster has only a handful of posts in the space of a week is because it is a classic troll tactic, establishing a basic identity to avoid being immediately rumbled when they're first post is a protracted and suspicious drama.

Not saying op is doing that btw just explaining the logic.

Oh an I have a cleaner, she comes for 2 hours every other week and she's bloody great. She was/is my first so I have never had a problem with a cleaner.
Well there was one time she folded my washing for me. It's not normally one if her jobs but it was out on the rail and she took the initiative. I would rather she didn't as it messes with my system but I just make sure it's done the night before.

HerrenaHarrison troll hunting isn't allowed.

Long term posters ( of which I am one ) don't have the right to pull apart someone they think might be a troll.

How many times must we go over and over this.

If you don't like something report it.

Well I'd have thought 'innocent until proved guilty' regarding posting as a troll, otherwise one risks upsetting somebody with a fierce reply.

OP if you are a sensitive soul, perhaps AIBU is not the right place to post.

I run a commercial cleaning business and once thought of branching out into domestic cleaning. Never again! I found it a bloody nightmare. I had my ladies turning up at houses to be told they were not required that day (they could have called me in advance and save the cleaner getting 2 buses over). I had cleaners paid for 2 hours to arrive and get a whole day's jobs on a list. I had the millionaires picking a tiny fault and using it as justification not to pay my lady. The worst was when a cleaner phoned me on her mobile, from a house that needed a bulldozer not a cleaning service, telling me the client had said she was not allowed to leave until the bombsite had been cleaned fully (but she was only to be paid for 2 hours work).

Obviously in commercial work, as with any business, there are difficult customers, I have 2 non-payers at the moment who are going to be taken to court, but the money:hassle ratio is one hell of a lot better.

Middletonpink.
I didn't say it was, I was merely explaining the logic.
That was my first post on this thread.
I do not engage in troll hunting (I follow the rules and report) but I do understand why some posters feel like they need to warn people before they emotionally engage. Not that there is much emotional engagement in a thread about cleaners.
I don't think it's fair to start accusing someone of exhibiting the worst of mumsnet for using advanced search and stating the truth.

IMO troll hunting is saying you don't believe an emotive op and interfering with the support being given.

I absolutely adore the lovely Lithuanian lady who is my cleaner. She's been with me five years, is always cheerful and if I want her to do something, I just tell her - but I don't often have to, as she seems to spot stuff that needs doing - oven, fridge, changing duvet (I HATE wrestling with the duvet cover) etc. She's done emergency babysitting when I had to rush out during a family emergency while having grandkids staying and - very important - my psychotic cat adores her!

I think I am a good employer. I increase her hourly rate every year without being asked, am generous with Christmas presents, housewarming present when she moved this year and .... well, now off to polish my halo!

Don't think anyone shouted troll. What a mundane thing to troll about. Op does come across as a bit business researchy, but what's wrong with that? MN is well known for the stock response 'can you employ a cleaner to help?'

If I were trying to make a living cleaning (and being SE myself, I have seriously considered it - LOADS of big posh houses round here) I might reasonably ask MNs opinion, to avoid pitfalls.

My mother who is less able now to do stuff like hoover stairs, employs some lovely Polish ladies to help out. They don't always do things exactly as she would like, but that is squarely down to the point op is making- she feels uncomfortable in the position of telling others what to do, having never been in a management position during her working life.

Point of advice - Probably wouldn't have tried AIBU though op! and the broomsticks comment was a bit harsh