aibu to spend less than £50 on dc xmas presents?

[GinAndSonic]

Well, it doesnt really matter if IABU because im skint .
We dont have much spare cash. My dc are 5 and 3. We never go overboard at birthdays / christmas, so they arent used to being showered in gifts.
I have a barbie sizes wooden dolls house (no furniture or anything) that i got for a fiver in a discount clearance place that i can give dd(3), and i got a barbie with a bed etc for a tenner in the sainsburys sale. My mum has a box full of betty spaghetti toys from my sisters childhood that im going to give her too, plus books, jigsaws from charity shops. Ds (5) will get whichever action figure i can get for a tenner or so, some second hand board games, and magnitex toys (again, from my sisters childhood) and books, jigsaws from charity shops.
They arent deprived, are they?

There are 6 yrs between my DCs - when DD1 was young she always got charity shop stuff as well a few new bits...as she got older it became harder....I never spent a lot on her.
Then I used to give DD2 DD1's old books and toys (had kept the boxes) for Christmas ...neither of them realised until about 4 yrs ago (DD1 is now 13) when DD2 unwrapped a leap pad toy and DD1 said I had one like that - I bet we still have it in the attic and I had lots of games for it too!
Just as DD2 unwrapped one of the games! . I hadn't given DD2 all the games so I could get some 'out of the attic' - but sadly I couldn't find the console thing or all the games .
DD1 now knows Santa isn't real so I could get away with it again - but think that DD2 will probably remember DD1 playing with some of the things...
(I have a mountain of Sylvanian families stuff up there still that DD2 could play with...must get it out before she outgrows it...)

Absolutely fine. Where does the pressure come to spend so much? We deliberately don't spend very much on DS - he gets presents from family too and already has plenty of toys. I don't think he's in any way deprived - what's wrong with a second hand bike for example which is what DS got for his birthday? We're very fortunate in that we have a high household income and this approach is a choice but spending time and giving our children love is the most important thing especially at Christmas.

DS got a James and Gordon from Thomas the tank engine for his 3rd birthday. They cost £13. He LOVES them. They really dont care at that age.

I think it's sensible not to overspend and get into debt. We spend more on our DDs because we can, but they certainly don't get things they never use/play with - everything they've had has been well used and well loved and that is what matters.

They get a 'big' present every year - 3DS last year, tablet this year - but the tablets will be used for online homework and they know it. The rest is little bits and pieces - books, always, pens and/or craft stuff, earrings, a fleece throw each for their redecorated bedrooms, and I'm having a friend make them themed patchwork cushions - she's very talented, they'll be one of a kind and not expensive. We have a small family so they don't get much beyond what they get from us, but it really doesn't matter - Christmas is about family, not presents.

YANBU OP it's sad that you have to even ask tbh, no one should feel bad about not spending hundreds at Christmas.

We spend about the same as you, we could afford to spend more but don't see the need to.

I see the endless stream of presents with family members and it just creates grabbiness and a lack of appreciation in the kids. And makes it impossible to buy for some children as they have literally everything you could possibly think of buying them!

Definitely not being unreasonable. It's horrible to feel pressurised into spending unnecessarily.

Noticed that you mentioned older Magnetix and thought it worth mentioning that there were safety concerns a few years ago and I think these were recalled. Perhaps others have a better memory?

I don't think children appreciate stuff if they have to much of it. I was talking to someone last weekend who was telling our group about the 15 big presents her dd was getting for Christmas. They aren't all bought yet, but the total so far is just over £500. She admitted that a lot of last years presents never get played with and that in her head more money spent = more love. Everyone else round the table disagreed with her and we all agreed it was excessive.
Your presents sound lovely. Children don't need money spent on them to have a lovely time. We are a bit better of now than a couple of years ago, but I still refuse to go overboard, I will not be get into debt for Christmas presents. Long term it's not worth it at all. And at 5 and 3, your dc won't appreciate expensive stuff, but will appreciate your time and fun stuff (free stuff) that you do with them.

There's nothing wrong with keeping Christmas gifts minimal, or spending what you can afford - but I really do hate these threads, where most people fight to declare how little they're spending as a way to prove that it makes them a better parent. 'Spoilt brats', 'family not as important', 'loads of plastic tat' gets bandied around all the time and it's not always the case.

We have two dc and spend a lot at Xmas, and there's a fairly large pile of gifts each. They're not spoilt, we're not showering them with useless tat to prove we love them . It's just a pattern we've fallen into - at Xmas, a years worth of toys/games/stuff get bought. We don't buy toys through the year really. Some stuff doesn't get opened till July/when over the year it is age appropriate for them.

I can hand on heart say they have played with/used every single thing they had last Xmas. And everything I buy is considered, because I know what they like.

This year I've bought quite a few DVDs and a few playstation games (the playstation is DHs - rarely used by him and only now really seeing the light of day as ds1 is 6). They have a dsi to share, which is mainly for the purposes of travelling because we travel a lot (long haul flights and long car journeys) and ATM their 'thing' is a shared ipad - so now they'll have something each for when reading/I spy has lost it's shine. They're also having a bike each...ds1 desperately needs one as his is way too small...ds2's is fine but will probably have outgrown it by the summer so it's bought for Xmas in readiness. Loads of books are bought, many far too challenging for their level ATM but will come over the next months. About 8 new board games...we all love board games and I guarantee they'll get used to death before next Xmas. I've bought a big mixed pack or garden and beach games which i know won't get touched until at least April time but will get used every sunny day April-Oct. Etc etc.

Neither of them are spoilt or ungrateful. They get lots at Xmas but little throughout the year (as we have it ready anyway!) and tend not to ask for stuff at all.

Definitely second the pound shop! A couple of years ago I spent a fortune on DN's , they took one look at the expensive presents and then spent the rest of the day playing with the pound shop stockings I did at the last minute. I had put pens, sticker books, hair stuff etc in. Max £5 each and they were over joyed.

The other thing they love is getting up to see if naughty Father Christmas has eaten his carrot and drunk his milk and left sooty footprints by the hearth. He always does, even the year that he had to pop out of the electric heater.

Christmas is definitely a time when thought counts way more than money. You being there to play with them and thier lovely gifts will be what they remember x

Last year I spent £7 on DS for Christmas. This year will be around the same (we're broke!)

He's only two, so he doesn't really understand Christmas and birthdays anyway.

We are extremely lucky in that we have a large and generous family, who buy him enough toys, clothes and shoes at Xmas to last the year.

I agree with you Walking!

We dont spend much - well we dont have much anyway - but i dont care if others spend a lot.

I don't like the 'i bet they are in debt', ' i know someone rich who divorced/got cancer', ' their dcs wilk end up in prison '.

It is not my money so i dont care.

Walking, MN wouldn't be MN without the competitive comments over who spends the least and anything more than an orange and a handful of nuts and the child is spoilt and being given money not love.

Everybody shops different, some only buy once a year others buy throughout the year. Some buy from the pound shop whilst others like to invest in better items. There's no right or wrong way.

Yanbu. They don't appreciate masses of stuff really.

Have you got your actin figure yet? Sainsbury's had standard Spider-Man for £7.50. Argos were doing the other marvel characters half price as we've picked up the Incredible Hulk, captain America and Spider-Man for our two sons.

We have spiderman, iron man, hulk amd captain america, im after Thor. My sister has wolverine for him.

"Everybody shops different, some only buy once a year others buy throughout the year."
Daisy - for those of us who struggle to "only" buy once a year, those sorts of comments are really offensive.

It's not a case of "everybody shops different" (sic). Some of us genuinely do not shop for toys at all, because we can't.

Bear that in mind before you start accusing people like me of making "competitive comments over who spends the least." Because trust me, I'd love to have the option to swap places. And bank accounts.

YANBU at all.

Just a word of warning about the empty dollshouse for a 3 year old - at that age we bought DS one because he loved the demo models in the shops, and I thought he'd enjoy decorating the rooms, making basic furniture etc., and my parents had bought him a bathroom set and some little people to get him started which was wrapped up under the tree.

He opened the front of the house, saw bare empty rooms, and burst into tears.

You might want to prepare a little story about Barbie moving to her new house and how houses are empty when you move in, and you can choose what colour to paint the rooms and so on...