To think if you are invited to a party.

[lollilou]

Then you either accept or politely decline. If something comes up (be it a better offer, a night spent on the sofa or something good on the tv) and you are unable to attend you get in touch with the host to say you won't be able to make it.
I have just hosted a milestone birthday party had a fabulous time but since \i got home I realised that lots of people didn't turn up. Hmm can I class myself as a grumpy old woman now and send them cross messages?

YNBU. It is down right rude to just not turn up but
as for sending messages I'm sorry but you'll look rather desperate
As long as your party went well there's no harm done and look at it as their loss not yours.

Actually I don't think I need to get a grip. I said in my post that I had a fabulous time I just think it is rude to not turn up and I was looking forward to seeing some of them, You are all right though I shouldn't say anything I was just venting with a hangover
I have already sent some thank you txts. I do have the best friends and family.My sister and her tribe travelled 220 miles to be there.

Yes, it is very weird when people do this. It happened a couple of years ago at a party I planned for DW. Totally accept that sometimes people can't come but not sending an apology is very rude I agree. I wouldn't say anything about it though to be honest. Some people are a bit lazy and thoughtless. Glad you had a great time anyway.

It is rude, YANBU there but if this is classic behaviour for these people then you need to just use this as your 'bar of friendship' OP. If they want to be that rude, don't stoop to their level but don't feel the need to go out of your way for them then they would for you.

I've stopped being disappointed in people because I'm no longer giving those people my all and getting less to nothing in reply. I rarely bother to call one friend, she always expected me to make the effort and I just stopped bothering so much because it was constantly me chasing after her. She got proper humpy about it because she wanted that friendship where I did all the running and giving, by treating her as she did to me and expecting nothing more I was no longer disappointed when she acted this way.

Putting out a fb thank you to everyone who showed is a nice thank you, ignore that some didn't bother.

They really are not worth bothering about especially if you only noticed they weren't there when you got home.
While its not right people seem to do it a lot.
I really hope you had a lovely time

SirChenjin

YANBU Op, they are. I hate this too, no excuse for it.

Some kinds of "parties" are very casual "turn up if you feel like it".

Others are the kind where you should say if you are coming or not coming.

If a party is the second kind, DO say which it is, and DO then follow through.

If an adult says they will do something, then (emergencies aside) they should do it. And they should take care to say they will do things only if they ACTUALLY will.