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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Easily offended woman on the train...

11 replies

coffeewithchips · 31/10/2014 12:43

This week I was on a Eurostar journey with DSis to France (over 2 hours) and was sitting on the 6.50am train. I was tired anyway from getting up at 5am to travel to the station and had planned to catch up on my sleep on the train.

As I was moving down the aisle to my seat, there was a woman with 2 DCs (aged about 5 and 8) in the aisle. We waited patiently for her to move for several minutes and as I walked past to my seat (behind her), she glared at us and I heard her mutter "SO rude". I wasn't quite sure what we'd done that was so rude apart from wait patiently for her to settle her DCs.

So I am sitting there and the train leaves. She shouts across to her kids in the seats opposite her constantly - "DON'T argue, make sure you're SHARING please! Do NOT say anything rude to each other" all a bit unnecessary as they were just sitting quietly on an iPad.

So I started to nod off and a woman in front of 'so rude' woman lets her toddler run up and down the train, babbling loudly. I didn't mind this as I know what small children are like so I tried to ignore it. It did wake me up however and DSis said "oh did it wake you?" just in conversation.

'So rude' woman must have heard this and decided that was rude too, as she started talking to the woman with the toddler saying she knew what it was like to travel with small DCs etc then said (very loudly and probably aimed at us) "you have to let them run around because this is a train and NOT a hotel and if people are so bothered about sleeping then they shouldn't have got such an early train, should they?"

She then took the iPad away from her DCs because they 'weren't sharing' (even though they were sitting quietly reading/drawing/watching) which prompted a loud tantrum from the youngest child.

Is it just me or was this woman BU by acting the way she did? I felt like I'd really offended her without actually doing anything Hmm it was quite odd.

OP posts:
Balaboosta · 31/10/2014 12:48

She's a MNer so desperate to cook up a juicy AIBU that she is projecting "rude" behaviour onto you and "not sharing" behaviour onto her children. She sounds anxious.

NewEraNewMindset · 31/10/2014 12:55

That actually made me think of a sketch show piece, you described it well lol.

Some people are professionally offended most of MN and I really wonder how the hell they would cope if someone really was properly rude to them. I imagine they would let out a scream as they fell to the floor.

cherrybombxo · 31/10/2014 13:02

I'm not sure how you managed to bite your tongue in that situation, she sounds like an arsehole.

kissmethere · 31/10/2014 13:03

Yanbu if that's exactly how it happened it sounds like she is stressed and ott.
Don't think about it anymore, some people have everyone walking on eggshells around them, you, her kids etc. a step out if line is "rude"
Enjoy your trip and if you bump into her on the way back
I'd make point of serious eye rolling and tutting. Her head may explode at real rudeness!

Riverland · 31/10/2014 13:05

I expect she was stressed and sounds very vulnerable. If she'd been given a hug she'd probably have burst into tears and released all the pent up tension.

trufflesnout · 31/10/2014 13:07

She can shove her tension up her arse. What a nobber!

amyhamster · 31/10/2014 13:07

Sounds like she just wanted an argument

WorraLiberty · 31/10/2014 13:18

Are you 100% sure you didn't gently bump the woman while passing?

She sounds irritating but there's nothing wrong with her reminding her kids not to argue and to make sure they share the ipad. She'll know them well enough to know, if they're likely to kick off after 10 minutes.

I can only imagine that when your DSis said "oh did it wake you?", she may have taken offence and thought she was calling the toddler 'it', rather than referring to the noise?

I can't see any parent removing the ipad from two children who were sharing nicely, so perhaps while you were nodding off you might have missed what went on.

ScarletFever · 31/10/2014 13:38

i wouldnt worry about it

(however, just in case, some people let out their passive agressive by making seemingly innocent comments, which are anything but DH will talk about how 'that doesnt go there' - he says he's just talking, but i know he's having a dig)

Original poster
coffeewithchips · 31/10/2014 13:40

100% sure there was no bump/ contact with the woman. We left her lots of space to sort herself out and she was sitting in her seat when we did pass. That's why I was so confused about why she thought we were rude.

Maybe she interpreted my sister's words in a different way, that could be the reason for the rant about people sleeping. I had a clear view of her DCs though and they weren't squabbling at all. I think she was very highly strung. Their behaviour was much worse after it was taken away.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 31/10/2014 13:44

I think I'd cut her some slack really

Doing a 2hr train journey with kids is stressful and if she was able to hear your DSis question just in conversation, over a toddler running up and down and babbling, perhaps it came out louder than intended.

I think headphones and calming music are wonderful in this situation.

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