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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dislike the use of the phrase 'mini me' to describe a DC

49 replies

TheIronGnome · 31/10/2014 10:11

It doesn't matter at all in the grand scheme of things, but this is something I've noticed more and more, recently.

It just seems a bit like not seeing a child as their own person, and an extension or copy of yourself. I'm not normally as precious about such things but for some reason this one irritates me.

Lil man, bub or lil princess are just as grating, but not in the same way IYSWIM.

OP posts:
sashh · 31/10/2014 12:41

It just seems a bit like not seeing a child as their own person, and an extension or copy of yourself

That's exactly what it mean. When a child is not allowed to have a personality but is being dressed as a clone type accessory.

An example, I was having my nails done and in the salon was another woman having her nails (hands and feet) done and with her was her daughter who looked about 6 maybe 7.

Mum and daughter had almost identical dresses on, they were wearing identical charm bracelets and the same hair style. They even had the same shade of fake tan.

I think the main difference was dd had her nails painted and mum was having acrylics - the same colour.

That is a 'mini me'.

VivaLeBeaver · 31/10/2014 12:44

Mmmm, I sometimes refer to dd as a mini me. She looks so much like me that I can guarantee every time we go to town at least a couple of sales assistants comment on how much she looks like me.

When I put a photo of her on fb a number of people always put "omg beaver, your dd looks just like you".

So I often reply something along the lines that she's a real mini me. Doesn't mean I don't see her as an individual.

ithoughtofitfirst · 31/10/2014 12:46

I have a ds who is like a mini Mr ithought and gave birth to dd on monday but it's too early to tell if she's a mini me.. i could always try and look like her though. Get a slightly jaundice looking fake tan and shave my head. Or get her a little wig. You could have a lot of fun with it.

TheHorseHasBolted · 31/10/2014 13:36

YANBU to find it irritating, although it would be rude to actually comment on it to their faces, which I don't think you've done.

To me, "mini me" is a mostly derogatory phrase used about parents who dress their children exactly like themselves - it surprises me that parents are using the term about their own children, as it is something so many people make fun of.

The one that really bugs me is "little man/men" - it makes me think of a little gnomelike figure in adults' clothes, possibly looking a bit like Toulouse-Lautrec. Where I work, there happen to have been a lot of boys born in the last 4 or 5 years and the parents are always referring to having had a great time at the weekend with their "gorgeous little men". I just think "little boy" is a lovely expression that conjures up a very cute image and it's nice to use it while you can. Nobody refers to their girl toddler as a "little woman", do they?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/10/2014 13:41

If I see someone post about their child being a 'mini me', I just assume the child is very much looking like one of the parents. I think that's nice but then neither myself or my brothers look like either parent or anything like each other so I always smile at 'alikeness'.

Pastamancer · 31/10/2014 13:46

DD is the spitting image of me. Mum still had some of my old clothes, I put DD in them and took a photo. If you compare the photo of her against one of me you can only tell by the backgrounds and quality of the photo which one is which. We are so similar that we could be identical twins so I have described her as a mini me.

makeminered · 31/10/2014 13:47

Lil man, bub or lil princess - I'll agree are awful.
Mini me is descripitive and used in a different context. It's short hand for exactly the same as me - and is not awful

YABU

WD41 · 31/10/2014 13:59

I've described DD as a mini me and I don't consider myself to be dim.

Physically she looks very similar to how I did as a child; temperament wise she is also very similar, as my mum will attest. There are other similarities too such as both having been very late talkers.

Obviously she is her own person but as my child she IS an extension of me.

It's a harmless expression. YABU

Lunabell · 31/10/2014 14:02

I call ds2 my "mini-me" as our ds1 has his dad's colouring, dark skin, dark brown eyes, dark hair. his whole family are like this, very dominant genes!
When ds2 popped out with bright blue eyes, pale skin and my button nose the 1st thing the midwife said to me was "here's your little mini-me" and he is. I do not think my midwife was dim... he looks exactly like me and our 1st looks exactly like his dad. We both have our own "mini-me" and it is lovely! I like it when people say it to me (and many do!)

iamelectrogirl · 31/10/2014 14:05

Owch. I sometimes refer to DS as 'mini me'- mostly because I don't want to use his chosen name until he's born (and his dad has nothing to do with us- so he really is a 'mini me').
I'm not sure it's down to me being dim, I just hate other terms like 'the bump'

TychosNose · 31/10/2014 14:05

Oh no. This is embarrassing.
I often call dd mini me. She looks identical to me at her age. Her personality is completely different though.
I also call ds little man all the time. And dd gets called little lady quite a lot too.
Dread to think what people are saying about me behind my back.

ProudAS · 31/10/2014 14:12

YANBU - my mum wanted a "mini me" and made me feel not good enough because I wasn't one.

CaptainJaneSafeway · 31/10/2014 14:17

I don't like it at all because my mum was always telling me I was exactly like her and a mini version of her, like that was a good thing. I'm not, and she is a narcissistic, awful mum. She still can't really see that I don't belong to her and am not part of her, and is always deeply shocked if I have different tastes. It makes me shudder and I'm careful never to say it.

I read somewhere that Paula Yates said that Peaches as a child was "just me" and thought she was her mini-me in every way. I don't think that is good for kids at all. You should be recognising who they are, and that they are separate from you.

However I can see that some people might not mean anything like that, they're just referring to the child looking like their parent.

makeminered · 31/10/2014 14:23

Just asked teenage DD if she minds being called mini me as she really is - both good and bad bits.

She laughed and said "It's all right. Why are you asking. That's so random.."

Then she asked me to make her some food. Wish I hadn't talked to her now Smile

FrancesNiadova · 31/10/2014 14:29

Dr Evil/Mini-Me is the reason I say it. MWAHAAAHAAHAAAAAA Halloween Grin

Dontwanttobeyourmonkeywench · 31/10/2014 14:29

My DD is most definitely a mini me because physically she looks like a clone of me(and my youngest sister)at each stage of development. My dad even commented that if it wasn't for the dates on the back of the baby photos he wouldn't be able to tell us apart. Personality and clothing choice wise, polar opposites. I have no idea how i have ended up with a DD who loves dresses and playing hairdresser etc. I was (and still am to a certain extent) a complete tomboy who has long hair because I can't be bothered to cut it and surprise people on the rare occasion that I wear the minimal amount of make up that I can tolerate.

ithoughtofitfirst · 31/10/2014 14:32

make well quite. I think your daughter summed it up pretty well!

It might just be one of those having an opinion for the sake of it type things but, Hell, this is aibu SO THAT'S OK.

Yanbu.

squoosh · 31/10/2014 15:00

YABU.

'extremely disrespectful to the child as an autonomous individual'

What a load of exaggerated old hooey. If you consider this to be 'extemely disrespectful' you must almost combust when faced with instances of actual extreme disrespect.

CaptainJaneSafeway · 31/10/2014 15:03

Well, it was disrespectful in my case, and for another poster, Proudas. I also recognised it might not be meant that way by some people. But maybe those of us who find it unsettling do so because in some cases, when a parent "mini-mes" their child it is a bit dodgy.

DoJo · 31/10/2014 15:04

Its extremely disrespectful to the child as an autonomous individual but I'm assuming that the mothers who use that term are too dim to notice.

What about fathers who use the term? Are the exempt from accusations of dimmery?

DoJo · 31/10/2014 15:04

Its extremely disrespectful to the child as an autonomous individual but I'm assuming that the mothers who use that term are too dim to notice.

What about fathers who use the term? Are they exempt from accusations of dimmery?

VivaLeBeaver · 31/10/2014 15:06

I must be really dim. Poor mini me dd having such a dim mother.

CaptainJaneSafeway · 31/10/2014 15:07

I would be unimpressed with a father who did it too, unless he was just talking about the child's looks.

patronisingbitchinthewardrobe · 31/10/2014 15:22

What a load of exaggerated old hooey
you make me laugh. watch Grin

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