Is df's ex being unreasonable?

[extremepie]

Df's (friend) ex has recently demanded that he show her his payslips so she can see how much he's earning and consequently how much child support he should be paying (they have a 5yr old ds).

He has said no - he has never failed to pay her child support money and always pays an amount in line with the government calculator, plus he has his ds every other weekend.

He only earns minimum wage and his hours are variable as he works shifts so sometimes the amount does vary but not by much (probably £20 or so).

Basically she is accusing him of lying and earning more than he says he is and not paying her the amount he should.

Is she BU to demand this? Is he BU to say no? I know I am biased but I feel she has a bloody cheek to demand he hand over his financial details, especially since he pays what he is supposed to every month :/

You will never know all the history. If I did this, my XH's gf would post on here about me. But I know he's a lying bastard who has previously sent forged financials. No one would ever think that was true of him. I was pretty gobsmacked myself.

Of course she might be the one in the "wrong", who knows. I would just say, don't assume she has no good reason.

Line, that would be fair enough if she was going through the Csa (or equivalent) but she isn't, I think she is just being nosy & demanding :/

He is at the moment officially 'homeless' as he has moved out of his previous house & is waiting for a new place to become available so doesn't technically have an address to give but there is no reason she needs to know that at this point as she doesn't want to go through Csa.

My personal opinion fwiw (biased I know!) is that she & her new bf are being a bit silly with money after booking and expensive holiday abroad, going on several other holidays this year & getting a brand new car (which they didn't even need) on finance. I think they have over stretched themselves a bit and so she's now looking for more money from him :/

I have been friends with both of them since before they broke up so have a fairly good idea about what's going on, she posts a lot on FB too :/

It's ok all these posters saying 'just go to the CSA' but they are not interested in investigating unless you have 'evidence' as it costs too much money. I know my ex is working more than the 16 hours he declared but have no proof other than when my kids go over he often has to work and that he only gets 1 day off per week - but apparently this is not enough!

He lives 80 miles away and short of lying in wait outside his place of work for a week and maybe filming him there's nothing more I can do. He hangs up on me if I ask him anything so he's not likely to show me evidence either!

I'm stuck.

Also meant to add that there's no job I know of that requires 16 hours over 6 days and if it did he's away from the kids too long for that to be the answer.

Now just found out through a mutual friend that she's been posting all over her Facebook wall that she 'doesn't know what to do about her ex who won't pay child support'!

Arrrg! Seriously?! What is her problem!

You are overly-invested in your friend's life to be posting all this about him, his ex and their child on a huge net forum. How is this all any of your business?

She is being VU. He's paying her a decent amount and - I presume - being reliable about it. If she wants a specific percentage of his wage, she should go through the CSA. Otherwise, they have reached a mutually agreed arrangement and she has sod all right to start demanding to see his payslips.

Carlson, so you aren't allowed to have an opinion on anything that goes on in your friends' lives?

I'm invested because he is pretty much my only friend and he talks to me about everything. I'm upset that he is doing the right and decent thing, which a lot of Nrp including my own ex don't bother to do for their children and instead of appreciating it she is bitching and moaning that he doesn't give her enough and then bad mouthing him all over Facebook to anyone (including his friends and family) who sees it when it isn't even true