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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Letting fireworks off in our garden.

292 replies

raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 12:38

Yesterday I was letting some, admittedly large, fireworks off in our garden at about 7pm. Fireworks were going vertically upwards and not into neighbours gardens.

Anyway all hell breaks loose. Guy comes out of his house screaming at my DH that he is a "fucking nobhead" and starts banging on our gate which was padlocked.

I went back into the house and locked the front door. Went upstairs to son's bedroom. Window was open as I had been painting sons walls earlier. and curtains had been removed due to the DIY.

Next thing he is shouting at me "oi you, fucking nobhead at the window". By this time the neighbours 2 doors down, who cannot stand me, had come out and were joining in on the trouble.

I replied "go away or I will phone the police" as there was now a small crowd at the front gate. I then shut the window and turned the light off in the room.

Next thing the guy jumped the fence and came in garden banging on front door. I did not answer the door.

They hung around at the front gate for about 15 minutes then got bored and dispersed.

I can appreciate that they may not like fireworks as they may have pets that could have been scared. However another neighbour set some fireworks off (far more than I did) and no-one complained.

Not sure what to do now.

OP posts:
sheldonesqueeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeam · 30/10/2014 18:28

What mrspiggie said.

I hate the bloody things. Organised displays are just about manageable.

Random people letting them off? When a lot of them now sound like mortars? (and I've heard the real thing and they do) Inconsiderate at the very best.

If there were some sort of warning I would be able to prepare and keep my dog calm.

I wish that licence thing could be made law here.

AnyoneForTardis · 30/10/2014 18:31

yy to sounding like mortars. we have an army base nearby and everytime I hear bangs it scares the hell out of us.

especially these days with terrorist threats.

FoxSticks · 30/10/2014 18:33

You were both being unreasonable I think. 7pm is a pretty standard bedtime isn't it? I'd be peed off if I was trying to get my kids to sleep and someone was letting off large fireworks. He was ott with his reaction through.

cakewitch · 30/10/2014 18:48

I fail to see how, in this day and age, that explosives are freely available to buy over the counter, just because it's our heritage????. Just How effing dangerous are fireworks?? And nobody seems to bat an eyelid about this. Yes, Op, you were extremely unreasonabe to be setting off explosives in your garden. I would be furious if I lived next door to you
. Whether it was bonfire night, or any other time.
Go to an organised display, where there are safety measures in place, the general public are at a safe distance away, and the fireworks are far better.

TeaForTara · 30/10/2014 18:48

OP, you've answered the "what previous encounters have you had with your neighbours" several times but you've not answered the "how big is your garden" "how far from your neighbours' gardens and houses were the fireworks" at all.

I'm quite happy with domestic firework parties, provided it's done safely and considerately. That means giving all the neighbours plenty of warning (and probably inviting them - but maybe not.) Plenty of warning = several days. Not just randomly setting off large fireworks any day and any time that you fancy.

I don't think it's necessary to warn the neighbours about fireworks on 5th November, nearest Saturday to 5th November, New Year (and Diwali if but only if you live in an area where lots of people celebrate Diwali so people are likely to know about it.)

Yes his reaction was OTT but you need to have some consideration.

QuillPen · 30/10/2014 18:55

OP- you may think you haven't had anything to do with the neighbour previously. I am wondering though if you spend a lot of time doing unreasonable things (bringing down the whole neighbourhood? I wonder if that was backed up by something). Maybe your neighbour has spent x amount of time quietly stewing at number out antisocial behaviours, the massive fireworks might have been the final straw.

I did have to go back and read the OP half way through this thread, I thought the fireworks had been set off by your DH!

Woozlebear · 30/10/2014 18:59

Just cos something isn't illegal doesn't mean it isn't massively knobbish. Sadly letting off mahoosove explosions inches away from other people and animals, with no fucking warning is illegal. However I'm of the opinion that if it's 5th nov, or the nearest Saturday (ditto for Diwali etc) you are mildly inconsiderate for doing it at all and a bit rude for not warning people. But it happens and I accept it. However any other time I would think you are a total arse.

Your neighbour sounds like he overreacted and handled it very badly. However your description of the whole situation does make me wonder whether your neighbours have other accumulated reasons for having an issue with you...

ArkhamOffett · 30/10/2014 19:06

You don't have to be a genius to work out that letting fireworks off will piss off your close neighbours.
Just because they are sold everywhere doesn't mean they aren't dangerous, antisocial and damaging to property.

jamtoast12 · 30/10/2014 19:06

No problem setting fireworks of in your garden at all, I don't see why you needed to tell your neighbors, unless just being polite. I don't know anyone who do go round, most people have it as a given around this time of year. House displays only last about 20 minutes anyway!

Can't believe how many people are against fireworks in your own garden! It's not like some kid throwing bangers in the street! It's perfectly legal and you don't have to explain yourself at all.

it's no big deal if done safely. Their reaction is bloody ridiculous and I'd have let the police come speak to them! They look pathetic tbh to have reacted in such a way.

Yabu op.

Woozlebear · 30/10/2014 19:07

isn't illegal I mean

PercyHorse · 30/10/2014 19:09

I really don't like people letting off fireworks. Having had family pets that spent the whole of Bonfire Night cowering and unable to settle I particularly hate the attitude that has crept in since the millennium that it's ok to set them off from the end of October up to New Year's Eve. I would be annoyed. I wouldn't screaming and hammering at your gate. I think your neighbours are aggressive and odd and you should involve the police.

Normal people don't react the way you have described to a dog outside their house or fireworks being let off. It sounds like you need to move.

taeglas · 30/10/2014 19:12

YABU!
Our drunken neighbours set of category 3 fireworks next to our garden shed (urban area small gardens) resulting in the shed being burnt down as a firework went in through the shed window. It has left my children scared of fireworks and me very nervous at this time of year.

Your neighbour may have over reacted but should your love of fireworks come before consideration for others?

Fireworks except organised public displays should be banned.

KatieKaye · 30/10/2014 19:16

I love fireworks- but on Bonfire Night or at the bells at New Year.
When people are expecting them - and know to keep their animals inside. Any other time is just being selfish. Why didn't you wait until Bonfire Night?

So, YWBU to be letting them off on the 29th, but he was WAAAAAY OTT.

AnyoneForTardis · 30/10/2014 19:31

Taeglas did they take responsilbilty and pay for a new one? that's bloody awful what happened.

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 19:31

I did ask the lady who alleged I was "bringing down the neighbourhood" to clarify how I had done this. I keep myself to myself, never have loud music on, do not drink alcohol, and work long hours so am hardly ever in the house. My husband is at home in the day, but he only goes out to smoke on the front step.
On the other hand the lady who made this allegation has drunken loud parties until 3 am, which keeps me awake.

OP posts:
Topseyt · 30/10/2014 19:34

I enjoy a good fireworks display, but I still wish they were banned from sale to the general public (and no, I don't buy them before anyone accuses me of that). They should be available to licensed public displays only.

Your neighbour's reaction sounds OTT, but it seems a bit odd that more than one set of neighbours seem to have issues with you. There simply must be more to this.

I have one dog who is terrified of them (and another who isn't worried by them at all and would go out to the garden and watch). It is hard looking after him when fireworks are going off like mortars. I expect it around bonfire night, New Year, perhaps Diwali and on special one-off occasions.

As I said, I enjoy a good fireworks display, but I don't like them being so easily available to the general public. As well as being enjoyable, they can also be a public nuisance. A balance has to be struck.

Sirzy · 30/10/2014 19:37

Where these fireworks being set off the required distance from any home/buildings? I very much doubt it.

garden fireworks are dangerous, especially when people set off ones which are too large for the space they have.

Constant fireworks in the lead up to November 5th is a PITA.

The neighbour overreacted but YWBU to be setting them off at all

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 19:39

I have spoken to the police and the community support officer is coming round as I need advice on how to take this forwards. I bit my tongue when dog-lady was being very insulting and abusive with me. When fireworks guy came out I went indoors and did not get into a slanging match.
Having said that there is only so much abuse I can take before I snap back. I am the end of my tether with it and although these idiots behave in an intimidating matter, they really do not scare me.

OP posts:
Silvercatowner · 30/10/2014 19:40

When the people in the house two doors down had a fireworks party they set the trees surrounding the garden on fire. What fun.... their neighbours garage nearly went up. Two fire engines came to put out the fire. Once it was out the fireworks resumed. W@nkers. I wouldn't've redacted like your neighbour did, but I might've been mentally cheering him on.

LadyLuck10 · 30/10/2014 19:42

I'm pretty sure your neighbours version of events would be totally different. Seems like YOU are the problem neighbours.
People on a street don't get together and just decide to pick out a house and give the occupants a hassle. It's more likely to be that you become so anti social that everyone else dislikes you.

As you said the neighbours didn't have a problem with other people who used fireworks so again it has to be YOU.

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 19:47

Ladyluck you do not know me and so please do not make assumptions.

Not everyone on the street is getting together, just the dog lady family and the fireworks guy. Everyone else gets on well with us.

I hate it on MN when people start making assumptions. I started another thread a while back and someone alleged my husband was a drunk driver! A man who was registered blind as a child and who has not had a drink for years.

OP posts:
taeglas · 30/10/2014 19:49

AnyoneForTardis

Unfortunately not. I had to claim on my house insurance. I did not even get an apology. When the workmen were putting up the new shed I got a half hearted apology from another occupant of the same house (shared house). He told me he had tried to get the people responsible to apologise but to no avail.
However I do have some other lovely considerate neighbours. I was offered use of garden tools until I got everything sorted by another neighbour.

MildDrPepperAddiction · 30/10/2014 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
raltheraffe · 30/10/2014 19:54

I am waiting for clarification on why I am antisocial. The only antisocial thing about me is the bloody hours I work, running a small business and studying for my accountancy qualifications.
I am never in the house, I leave at 5 am and often do not get home until 8 or 9 pm, and I work weekends.
I have no criminal record, I do not drink, I only listen to music on low volume and never after 10 pm.
Other than the firework I do not see what I have done wrong.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 30/10/2014 19:56

Setting off explosives in an unsuitable enclosed space a week before bonfire night is antisocial.

Not letting your neighbours know you were going to do it was antisocial