to have bought myself lots of things

[superbagpuss]

last night I was Christmas shopping with dh online and actually chose and bought myself a few things like pjs and a new bag

I suggested to dh that he and the children can give them to me for my birthday/Christmas

however I have also requested items from dh already that I really want - this is the second year on asking him but if I bought them it would take away the sentimental value

disclaimer - we have the money I have spent, I will be spending similar on dh

Not unreasonable at all.

Mum is not automatically last on the list of priorities.

You know you are allowed to buy yourself things like this even when it isn't Christmas? Provided you can afford it obviously.

Yanbu you are however posting pointlessly.

I don't think it's pointless - sometimes it's really engrained in mothers, especially, that they ought not have too much for themselves. I don't think it's pointless if OP just wanted some reassurance.

Why would buying things you like and can comfortably afford ever be unreasonable?

Yanbu, but I do find it weird.

I wouldn't want to buy my own presents tbh...what's the point? I'd rather just leave it to dh.

I buy my own presents, am fussy, last year I got a nice didrikson coat. We're not struggling for cash, touch wood, but I struggle to justify a 200 quid spend on myself.

because I don't need new PJ or a new bag or dress, I just liked them and that to me seems unreasonable

But does everyone 'need' the things they get for Christmas? Generally, No.

No guilt. As long as you're not using money that should have gone toward food, shelter and basic needs for yourself and your children, it's all ok.

But do your children only get what they absolutely need? 2 pairs of cheap joggers and 6 tshirts on rotation for their entire wardrobe, 1 toy each? I doubt it. They get things that are nice and that they want. You are just as valuable and deserving as they are :)