AIBU to be narked off with people complaining I spoil dd ! Especially the below comment.

[Mummytosurvivor25]

People always want to comment on my DD's clothes and toys.
It's my daughters 1 st Xmas and first birthday coming up , something that we never thoug we would see.
So I have spoilt her rotten for it, " my friend has issues with this " as she can't afford apparently to lay more than 50 pound for her sons birthday although she works ( her first actual job may I add ) but this is the laugh she is buying her boyfriend a ps4 for Xmas and his buying her a iPhone 6 ?

AIBU to think we just have diff ideals on who and how to spend are money on ? And it isn't her place to comment on what is acceptable amount of stuff for my child. Also that she can afford to spend more than 50 although she is claiming she can't.

OP you come across as pretty judgemental of her - how much she spends, that she chooses to spend more on an adult than a one year old, that it's her first job etc

You don't sound as if you like her very much and suspect you're both as bad as each other in the judgement stakes.

I know what you mean about running it's course but it's hard to let go at the same time , know each other 18 yrs and have always been there for each other it just seems since we have had the kids , I can't do anything right !

The only reason I mentioned her job, is because she mentioned working not me.
Again when she wanted to go to work I even asked my sister to see of she had any jobs going.
I am glad she has found a job she likes but it doesn't mean she can throw it out at me that she has a job and as I have said I never once have said anything bad about her money she can do with it was she pleases.

For the fact that you've said that people 'always' comment on your daughters clothes and toys it has to be more then she just saw the toys one day or she went shopping with you, does everyone who comments on your daughters clothes and toys go to you house or is it more like pictures on fb and the like ?
Yes everyone has different amounts to spend on their children and people have different budgets aswell and yes some even have different prioritys.
you can not get upset with your friend for judging you when you are judging her !
Some people could say its pointless you spending x amount on your daughter at such a young age as she won't understand they could also say you are going to turn her into a spoilt brat just like you could say that she's mean for getting her boyfriend expensive gifts when she's only willing to spend a little amount on her son
There is different views to every arguement

But IMHO you must be doing some element of bragging for 'everyone' to be commenting

neither of you sounds like a good friend to the other.

seeing as you said this always happens it's not just her or this one occasion. while it's not really anyone's business if you are going over the top people do comment.

I think it's a bit weird that you'll cheerfully say you are spoiling your kid rotten, but if someone else says it how dare they.

Love isn't measured in how much money you throw at someone.

And, really, if people always want to comment on what your DD has, it must be pretty extreme. I've seen some kids with crazy amounts of expensive stuff which was never or almost never commented on by anyone else.

Imagine it must be extreme if the OP thinks that £50 isn't much to spend on a one year old, who quite frankly will not have a clue what their birthday is. £50 is plenty.

My personal view is that it is silly to spend so much on a 1 year old - they only need as many (cheap) clothes as they can get reasonable wear out of before they outgrow them and can be overwhelmed by having too many toys (and again outgrow things or lose interest quickly). In my view, it would be much better to put some of the money into a savings account for use when it will be more appreciated (eg to pay for a hobby when older or even a university fund). Obviously, if you can afford to do both that is fine. I would share that view with a friend if it came up in conversation, but would not "force" it upon them or judge them for disagreeing with me. Up to them how they spend their money (until the time when they start complaining that they cannot afford for their child to pursue a much loved hobby...)
And of course sometimes the spending is for the parent, not the child. When my brother got divorced he started massively overspending on gifts for his DS to "compensate". He would admit this now but at the time he needed to do this for himself, to make himself feel better about the situation. And who could judge him for that really.

I think spending is mainly about the parent at that age. You sound v judgemental of others to be honest. If LOTS of people are commenting does it meant they are concerned? Are you spending above your means or do they think perhaps you have a problem in overbuying? If not just enjoy it.

As for me, I'm secure in my choices and certainly wouldn't spend a lot on a 1 year olds birthday!! I know a fair bit about child development and tend to pass up on a lot of tat ;) I think people I get on easiest with aren't too materialistic either.

Putting the rest of the terrible spelling aside - the word 'he's' is not spelt 'his'

I know a woman who asks you what you are getting for Christmas then tells you what an idiot you are for spending more than £50 per child..... Its not that I care how much she spends, I don't give a flying feck, its the audacity to ask me then tell me she knows far more... We don't speak anymore funnily enough!