To be pissed off with my Mum even though she did me a favour?

[Cundtbake]

Just got back from a few days away with DS. My DM doesn't live far from me so was feeding my cat for me. While I was away the cat decided to pee in the bathroom (in protest of my absence I think!)

My mum cleaned what she could and left the bath mats to dry. Then went out and her friend borrowed her car, so she gave her friend keys to mine and asked her to put the bath mats back/spray some air freshener etc.

This friend of hers was really awful to me when I was growing up. Telling me I wouldn't grow to be anything and any man could have me etc when I was a young teenager with MH problems. My DM knows this but is perhaps in some kind of denial because she knows she didn't protect me from this. Either way she knows I do not like this woman and she knows why.

AIBU to be pissed off that she gave this woman keys to my home? While I'm grateful that she wanted to clean up before I came back I would rather clean it up myself than have this woman in my house.

I haven't said anything really, but she saw my face when she mentioned it and told me not to be ungrateful etc and said she won't bother in future.

I can see why you would be so pissed off but it's difficult to manage if your mum made the decision. You need to talk honestly with your mum about what is upsetting you.

You are not being unreasonable. I'm sure she was just trying to be nice and helpgul but judging by your mother's comment it does sound like she knew she was being unreasonable. Maybe you could sit down with your mum and tell her that you are grateful that she helped out but you are serious about not having the other person in your house/life.

Simple, don't ask your mum in future.....although that may be the outcome she wants!

YANBU and I'd take her at her word not to bother again.

Sorry to hear how this woman treated you in the past, hope things are better now. I think it's weird that mum gave anyone the keys to your house, especially someone whom she knows you feel this way about, maybe she was trying to be nice but it was very misguided. I think it also seems unfair that she went off on one just because of the look on your face. I would try and find someone else who you can trust to look after your cat next time.

YANBU. If she knows how you feel about this person there is no way she should have given her the keys to your house.

Who cares about a bit of cat pee compared to years of bullying of a vulnerable youngster. Poor you.

Ask someone else to feed the cat next time.

I'd be cross at her giving ANYONE your house keys let alone someone so poisonous, you're not being unreasonable.

YANBU - your mum should not have given your keys to anyone else without your permission, far less this horror of a person who bullied a vulnerable child.
Why did she even stay friends with this person?

I'd be pissed off she was still in touch with her tbh.

YANNNBU. How dare your Mum give the keys to your house to somebody else and especially to this particular person. You should be mightily pissed off with her.

YANBU.
She should not have given them to anyone else. Full stop. The crime is doubled when you take into account who it is. I hope she didn't snoop too much. I'd be furious.