to hate when someone becomes the food police

[mommy2ash]

a girl who is in my social circle has recently started pretty severe diet. she is very underweight and has health issues and was recommended by her doctor and I do genuinely wish her all the best with it.

since she has started it though she comments on every single thing someone else fast, puts people down, says they will get fat and ill. it's really starting to wear thin. others tend to avoid eating in front of her to show support but if I'm hungry im going to eat and I would expect an adult to accept that.

on a recent night out i wasn't drinking as I rarely do. the rest were knocking them back all night and at the end of the night I got the biggest lecture while she tried to shame Me out of ordering some chips.

in the end I did tell her to feck off and concentrate on herself and leave me out of it.

aibu to think you diet only extends to yourself not everyone around you.

Yanbu she sounds like a massive pit.

Sorry, she was very underweight and get doctor advised a struck diet?

YANBU, I hate food and diet bores.

But if she's very underweight, why do people not want to eat in front of her, to show support?

sorry I meant over weight

My family have all turned bonkers about food recently.

My mother has just visited and spent the weekend telling me what not to eat (anything processed, the skins of jacket potatoes, anything with aspartame... ), it went on and on for the whole time she was here. Whenever food was mentioned she was there telling me how bad for me it was. I lnow there are problems with a lot of foods re chemicals, but she was bloody obsessed.

And my sister (hello if you are here) has recently turned some sort of extreme juicer, and is extolling the virtues of spinach and celery juice. Or something. And referred to fruit juice as "a glass of diabetes".

Apparently moderation is no longer permissible...

Oh tell her to piss off. Her issues aren't your issues and you shouldn't have to live your life in such a way to make her feel better. I was once 7 stone overweight and whilst getting down to 10st I never once commented on what other people ate or expected them to go without something to make me feel better about having got myself into such a state.

Hope you enjoyed your chips.

YANBU, nobody should be subjected to someone trying to shame them out of their chips FFS!

Have you ever said to her that you think she might be underweight and taking things too far?

She's overweight?

That shines a spotlight on the fact that I wouldn't post asking the OP whether they'd ever said to their friend that they think they're overweight.

Hmmmm.

im glad I'm not the only one who has come across this but I think I've ruined my post my saying underweight as it just doesn't make sense now lol.

I did enjoy my chips they were lovely :-) I've been on diets before and I know it's hard when other people are eating things you can't but surely that's all part of it, the world can't stop because you are on a diet.

YANBU. It's the worst and most irritating sort of projection.

My mum is massively overweight and has type 2 diabetes and she "deals" with it by nagging my poor granddad over his weight and type 2 diabetes management instead..... I have limited sympathy.

The food police bosses gave my 7month pregnant colleague a book about what to eat during the first three months to avoid autism FGS. The poor lass was so upset.

That's till, at my suggestion, we left the book in the pissing rain on the road and waited for the next HGV to come along. That cheered her up. Whole new perspective to pulp fiction.

I'm overweight. I know why. Dear Auntie would only order me a diet coke when, due to extreme circumstances, I needed sugar. Think she thought I'd get fatter in front of her otherwise.

'Go on a diet'. 'Save up.' 'Stop smoking/drinking/destructive/obsessive/ relationship/spending/etc.' If only it were that easy.

Glad you told her to fuck off. I'm overweight. I've been on many a diet. I don't comment on other people's food simply because I'm bitter that I can't eat it when I'm yoyo dieting. She's only doing it because she's bitter and reminding herself of why she shouldn't have it.

And people commenting on pregnant women's food choices really makes me murderous. Work Christmas meal last year while I was 6 months pregnant "Jolleigh, are you sure you want the mussels? I can put something else down, there's still lime. There are plenty more suitable things on the menu." Very pointedly. In front of colleagues.

Yes, I want the mussels. If you ask me again I won't be responsible for my actions.

My dsis does this - drives me up the bloody wall!

Everyone I've ever known to go on a strict diet goes a bit crazy and obsessive with it, it's wierd how just eating can take someone over so much.

YANBU but perhaps she is sensitive at the moment or genuinely thinks she us doing you a favour. Not the done thing on a night out at all but hopefully she will be one less zealos as she gets used to her feet bring a little different from others who don't necessarily have the same goals.

(FWIW I have had to have discussions with friends / colleagues even while overweight because with uncooperative IBD i had diet goals thsg didn't obviously make sense if you were purely looking at my BMI).

Ugh, I hate it when people are like this. I once worked with a woman who seemed to know the calorific content of every single chocolate bar ever and delighted in telling everyone this anytime they tucked into a Snickers or Mars Bar. It became very tedious.

YANBU. Nowt more tedious than food-obsessed folk.

I think most people become a bit fixated with food when they start restricting what they eat but it is incredibly annoying when someone starts evangelising about their latest diet.

I get this all the time, it's highly annoying. Yes I know I am a bit overweight however I am definitely fitter than the average person. I don't give a monkeys about a max of 2 cans of Diet Coke a week!

She's stressed and irritable because she is having to exercise a great deal of control in order to adhere to the diet. I expect her response to everything from hunger, through thirst, tiredness, boredom, joy and sadness is to put food in her mouth so it would be enormously distracting for her to resist that compulsion now.
Yes, its a PITA and its not reasonable to lecture other people about their eating habits, but in a way she is like a heavy smoker, or a drinker, who has unwillingly quit. She is struggling. Tbh, her chances of success are pretty small. I would be tempted to cut her some slack, do some intermittent fasting and only see her on a fast day

Oak Lol at 'a glass of diabetes'. Maybe she was the poster who describes cereal as 'shit in a box'. What are her views on jars of pasta sauce?

YANBU, diet bores are horrendous.

Oakmaiden - I'm sure I remember something about a nutrient only present between jacket potato and skin.

it's just fucking plain rude, not to mention boring. I have a vegan "friend" and the utter tosh she comes out with is unbelievable. You'd think God was going to come and collect them in person.

I get irritated with people who hardly know me, but are eating with for a variety of reasons comment 'you know you shouldn't just cut out carbs you know'. I point out that I am a coeliac so can't eat the carbs they are tucking into and no don't offer me a chip as most are dusted with flour to make them extra crispy. No it's not a fad it is a genuine medical problem I produce antibodies to the wheat it actually makes me ill.