DS ditched - who ( If anyone ... ) feels my wrath?

[UsedtobeFeckless]

Not sure how to play this so I'd welcome some thoughts ...

DS has been mates with this kid ( Flipper ) for years, they go to different schools but hang out together pretty regularly during the holidays. Flipper's Mum ( FM ) and I are friends and meet up with and without sprogs every few weeks - so far so good - but ( Here's where it gets a bit tricky ... )

Two weeks ago I bumped into FM who said she, Flipper and Flipper's Dad ( Her ex, who now lives abroad but bobs up from time to time ) were off to a local Steam Fair thing the following day and would DS like to come too. When I got home and asked DS he said he was up for it so I rang FM and we left it that she'd ring half an hour or so before they came round to pick DS up ( I was going to be at work ) so he could get ready.

When I got home that night it was to a glum DS who'd sat around all day waiting for a call that never came. I rang FM and she said Ooops-sorry-they-forgot, and that anyway Flipper and his Dad were busy taking photos of the steam engines and didn't want DS to be bored

I've not been in touch since. I'm pissed off. DS is pissed off. Don't get me wrong - I'm queen of the social lie - if Flipper didn't want DS to come along because he and his Dad wanted to do some Manly Bonding while viewing the chuffers then all they had to do was ring up with some vaguely credible excuse ( Tummy bug / dead car / zombie apocalypse ) and everything would be peachy, but to invite the poor sod and then just forget and/or ignore him has really annoyed me.

What would you do?

I would do nothing. It sounds like the Dad didn't want DS to come as he wanted bonding time with his son. And the friend's Mum didn't have the guts to call.

I just wouldn't call. How old are the boys? Sounds like she's rude. If the lads are over 12 it's time they did their own social management anyway.

Nothing.

Did this all happen two weeks ago, and you've been brooding over it since then? Or was the invitation issued two weeks ago for something that was to happen today?

I am happily married but value time with my DC on my own ( there are Dh children also)

I think you should say to to the mother that she should not be making plans with the children when it's not in her time.

It was obviously two weeks ago. She says clearly "Two weeks ago" and then "The following day" in relation to the event.

How old is your ds? I think I would have texted yesterday to check it was still on tbh.

It was two weeks ago bells

I just found it hard to believe that someone would still be wrathful about this after two weeks, ClawHands, so was attempting to find a doubt to give the benefit of.

I think it was pretty shitty to have not phoned in the morning and let your ds know they wouldn't be coming, however sounds like she shouldn't have made plans on her ex's behalf especially of he's not around much.

It happened a couple of weeks ago - I haven't been brooding particularly but we drove past their house today and I asked DS if he fancied doing something with Flipper later in the week ( It's half-term and they usually hook up in the holidays ) and he said no as he was still peeved at being forgotten about.

He's 13 - and he usually makes his own arrangements but as FM and I do stuff together anyway he generally gets swept along too ( Although to be honest I'm not sure if he and Flipper would have stayed in touch if FM hadn't made a point of staying in touch with me after they went to different schools ) which is why I'm wondering if I should let it fizzle out on it's own.

I would. I wouldn't even ask DS about it again. It's not nice...what they did...but move on.

Ah, I see. In that case, I would just let it go and do nothing.

Thanks, that was my first impulse too - I don't want DS to feel he has to run round trying to patch things up if someone treats him badly.

I haven't actually been stewing in bile for a fortnight - I'm too knackered to hold grudges, that requires concentration!

Sorry I took your wrath too literally at first. I see now that it's a very well balanced and not at all unreasonable slightly peeved!

I think she genuinely forgot