to bring forward 8yo DS's bedtime when he's got a 4:30am start looming?

[royalminitrux]

(Family related grumble, sorry) .DS is off to France on Monday for a school trip. So I think we need a 4:30 am wake up so we can be ready to leave the house at 5:30am. They arrive home at 11pm that night.

DS knows he needs an early night on sunday and announced he might go to bed at 6pm. For the record this boy is the world chamption at going to bed nicely . I was going to make sure he didn't have late night on satuday too, probably a 7pm bedtime.

I have just casually mentioned this to my mother and she snapped back at me "don't expect him to go to sleep that early". When I explained that he's got a super busy week coming up (3 trips out) she thought I was being silly trying to bring his bedtimes forward a little and said he'll just have to be tired on the trip. Apparently I am being unreasonable.

I really don't know what I'm doing anymore . My family unpick everything I do. They won't be here to deal with an exhausted child, I'll be doing it while working and looking after both DC's.

I'd have kept him on summer time for the week.

"They won't be here to deal with an exhausted child"

I'd send an exhausted 8 year old to bed, not "deal with" them, especially since you say he's really good at going to bed.

Your mother is a loon, your DS is being mature and sensible. I'd have done exactly the same thing, and will in fact be doing exactly the same thing with DD1 (13) come December, when she and I have a 3.30 am wakeup call for a 4.30 am departure. You need to disengage from people who are so unsupportive - I know it isn't easy, but you need to learn to be firm with them and tell them coolly but politely that this is your way of parenting and that you don't need their agreement.

Of course yanbu, if your ds is happy to go to bed at 6 or 7 for a couple of nights then why not? Sounds like he's very busy

yanbu but why even discuss it with your family - especially if they 'unpick everything'

also - try not to give a shit what they think x

7pm isn't even that early I'd say. 6pm is early and he may struggle to drop off but no harm in trying anyway.

Of course you can bring his bed time forwards. If your DS is in on teh idea so much teh better.
I have an 8 yr old DS and he fairly willingly goes and has a quiet hour (late afternoon) on his bed in exchange for being allowed to stay out late on the odd Saturday. He also willingly goes to bed early on those nights its practical if he knows he will have an early start to do an activity he wants to do at the weekend.

Thanks all . I constantly doubt myself when my family are around. I'm learning to keep my mouth shut and trying to distance myself from them, I feel an idiot for mentioning it to her TBH. It's hard because I'm a LP and don't have any to bounce ideas off, they've left me feeling so unconfident I don't know whether my gut instinct is right or wrong anymore. .

OP I honestly find it odd that they think it's so strange to put him to bed early, knowing he has to be up early? Is that not just the logical thing to do?
Ignore what your family think, and have some more confidence in yourself

Bounce ideas of here if your mother is usually so undermining and judgemental. DM sees my DC almost every day and I do ask her opinion on my decisions but she knows they are mine and her role is supportive sounding board.

In Yr9 I went to Belgium 'for the day' . We left at 4am Friday, getting back at 6am the next day... IIRC, I was sent to bed after tea on Thursday night because I had to be up so early...

You know your own ds and always follow your gut instinct