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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask those of you who suffer from panic attacks...

29 replies

LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:08

If you would mind sharing what a panic attack feels like? My teenage DN is struggling in general. Poor relationship with her mum. Always been a little attention seeking. Recently she has been having panic attacks at school. Yesterday she had one in front of me. She was bent double, crying and seemingly hyperventilating, her leg was shaking. She seemed quite rigid. Grandma was pretty terrified. It looked very traumatic However, something seemed off to me. I held her wrist and took her pulse during the attack without her knowing. It was steady and regular. I comforted her, encouraged her to breathe and she seemed to come around fairly quickly (8 minutes from full on meltdown to back to normal, giggling about how 'embarrassing' all was). After, when we talked, she gave me what seemed like a well practised, medical dictionary definition of how it felt: she couldn't breathe, her hands went cold, her face was numb, she couldn't hear anything. I know that she heard me though because she did everything I instructed her to do. Everyone else in the room was utterly beside themselves with worry. It scared me, but I think I was scared because something nagged at me that it wasn't real. I feel awful for saying so but I want to get her the help she needs. If these attacks are a cry for attention, I'm scared she will up the ante if we ignore it. If it's real, then obviously I need to get her some help. I would really appreciate any input. I'm also sorry if any part of this seems insensitive. I just want to help.

OP posts:
McGlashan · 28/10/2014 17:11

It does sound a panic attack - but my heart would've been racing at a hundred miles an hour- which is why you get all the symptoms.

CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 28/10/2014 17:13

it can manifest itself in many ways, but a pretty consistent symptom is a high heart rate as a panic attack is essentially a rush of adrenaline as you go in to fight or flight mode.

The rest of the symptoms can be rather hard to put in to words, but an intense feeling of doom, flushed, can't stand still and hyperventilating are all common.

LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:15

That's what it making me think it was a performance. Her heartbeat was regular and normal. I'm first aid trained with work so I know I'm not wrong. I think she may have Google it and performed it. I don't know how to help her. Sad

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ZombiePartridge · 28/10/2014 17:17

Hmm. I get them and high heart rate is how I know it's happening..... I'd check her heart rate again if you can, maybe at a different pulse point (like her neck) as I can't feel my own pulse Confused but can see my neck throbbing when it happens!

It does sound a little suspicious.

SpuffySummers · 28/10/2014 17:19

My heartbeat races. Feels like its going to thump its way out of my chest. I get shaky, I feel sick, terrified, confused and sometimes I cry. Fortunately I have good meds so it doesn't happen very often any more.

SpuffySummers · 28/10/2014 17:20

I'm also very shaky, weak and scared for days afterwards. I definitely am not able to "laugh it off".

offtoseethewizard64 · 28/10/2014 17:21

Teach her breathing exercises to practice and use for next time she has 'an attack'.

ArabellaTarantella · 28/10/2014 17:24

My heart rate sky rockets and I want to run away as fast as I can to anywhere but here. And I am in a panic/stressed out 'God help me I think I'm going to die' sort of way.

No way would my heart beat be steady!

YvetteChauvire · 28/10/2014 17:25

When I have a panic attack the thing I find most distressing and the thing that I notice first is the speeding up of my heart rate. Indeed, I have never heard anyone to have a panic attack and the heart rate remains normal. I could be wrong and it would be interesting to hear from posters who have a stable heart rate in throes of an attack.

CrabbyTheCrabster · 28/10/2014 17:25

I agree that a raised heart rate (and usually palpitations) are intrinsic to a panic attack. Mine is often over 100bpm when I'm anxious, and was over 80bpm today (very anxious) despite taking a beta blocker.

Did you count her pulse rate? What was it? You'd expect a teenager's to be a little higher than an adult's anyway.

YvetteChauvire · 28/10/2014 17:26

It is the classic fight or flight response from I understand. Bearing that in mind I am not sure how one's heart rate can remain steady.

KnackeredMuchly · 28/10/2014 17:26

I think you should treat it the same as if it was a panic attack to be honest.

Try and give her quality time, ask her to talk about what troubles her, encourage her to go to GP etc.

There's no need to let her know you 'know'. Either way she's troubled.

sonjadog · 28/10/2014 17:27

When I get them, my heartbeat races, I feel dry-mouthed and often dizzy, I will often cry in a sobbing way. I don't return to normal in ten minutes or so. The panic attack itself can last for about that time, but they leave me drained and tired and feeling vulnerable. Often so tired that it will take a day or so to start feeling normal again.They also don't just come out of nowhere. I will be feeling stressed and anxious some time before the attack hits.

Panic attacks are very distressing things. I don't think many people who have them would laugh about them.

If you think it is a ploy for attention then I would take her to your GP or talk to the school and see if there is a counsellor she can talk to. Even if these attacks are fake, her faking them might be a sign of something else going on.

LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:27

She came around very quickly. I spoke to one of her teachers who mentioned that during one 'attack' at lunchtime her friends ignored it and she ended up 'falling' off the chair she was sitting on, on to her hands and knees on the floor. A teacher was called and she 'came around' within two minutes and went back to lessons. I'm not sure the school are convinced. My sister and grandma are though. I will try with the breathing exercises. I'm more worried about them not being real than I would be if they were real. I don't know what is going on in her head. It makes me irrationally want to punch my sister for being a self centred cow. (I know IABU for feeling like that. There is a lot of back story.)

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r2d2ismyidealman · 28/10/2014 17:29

I can't imagine doing what she did without raising a heart rate. That took a lot of energy. So I'd suggest being careful. Even if it isn't panic, doing that as a cry of help is a sign that something isn't right - even if the problem isn't "panic".

LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:33

Her heart rate was 84bpm. But she was obviously 'active'. I don't know. I haven't let on I don't quite believe her. I'm going to insist on a GP visit though. She needs help either way.

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LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:35

Thank you for your responses. Flowers

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WhatWouldBlairWaldorfDo · 28/10/2014 17:36

Its been a while for me (now on meds) but first sign for me is my hands feel funny, a bit like pins and needles, then my heart races, i feel lightheaded, and cant really 'do' anything. I feel convinced im going to pass out or vomit, i clench/unclench my hands and get a bit sweaty.

Im also exhausted after, have to go home, and really cant do much.

Just a thought, but does she watch zoella on youtube? She seems to have made panic/anxiety quite 'trendy' at the minute. A few of the kids in school have now started 'feeling panic/anxiety' yet display no classic symptoms.
I wouldnt ever accuse them of attention seeking but panic attacks are certainly the latest bandwagon amongst the youtubers (tanya burr/zoella etc)

Lookslikeimstuckhere · 28/10/2014 17:36

Same here with the heart rate. I do start to hyperventilate, end up trying to grab at something, anything to hold on to.

Sounds weird but it feels like I'm in one of those public danger adverts they used to do. Everything and anything seems to be posing a threat and I feel like I'm trapped.

It takes days to recover from. I would be very surprised if you could be giggly but maybe it was nerves?

I would say that whether it is real or not, she needs some help with something at the moment. Maybe Mum should talk to the school and see if she is doing the same thing there?

Lookslikeimstuckhere · 28/10/2014 17:38

Sorry, x post about the school.

LokiBear · 28/10/2014 17:38

She probably does watch that. She craves her mother's attention and always has. She is very insecure. I'm going to have a watch and see if it is similar. Thank you.

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mateysmum · 28/10/2014 17:43

I know symptoms vary, but when I used to have them, I never cried - too terrified for that and just trying to cope with the racing heart and the feeling that I was about to keel over and the general feeling of light headedness.

As others said even when the immediate symptoms have gone and heart rate slowed, it would wipe me out and often leave me with a migraine type headache that would last till the next day.

You are right to question what is happening to her. You sound like a lovely aunt.

MrsMaker83 · 28/10/2014 18:05

I have anxiety attacks.

I struggle to breathe normally. When i breathe in it feels like I'm being cut off part way through, its very hard to describe.

Best way i can explain is like its not a satisfying breath.

Can go on for ages, days even.

WinnieTheBitch · 28/10/2014 18:07

When I get them, if there is to much noise/fuss around me I can switch it out, however if one person is talking to me calmly I can normally hear and do what they ask.
My breathing/heart rate increases, I shake badly. Even when it's "over" I'm really jumpy and don't like to be touched, and shaky still - can take me a couple of hours to feel normal and I also feel tired after, sugar helps me feel better a bit quicker as well.

Sounds as though she is faking for attention, to be honest if you knew these were fake just ignore it. But maybe she could go to the doctor and go to cahms?

You could always get a blood pressure machine to see what it's really like to prove it? She would probably like the attention till you pointed out its normal so she is fine.

Meh84 · 28/10/2014 18:17

This is interesting because I thought I was having panic attacks, but my heart rate doesn't feel like it increases.

I can tell something's not right because when I'm breathing it feels like the air isn't going into my lungs, hence me starting to panic.

Can you have a panic attack and display different symptoms?