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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re passive aggressive parking!

41 replies

WyldChyld · 27/10/2014 22:38

I currently live in a mid - terrace house. Our NDN is a bit of a twit - likes to try and make me jump etc. NDN has now moved in his GF.

All parking is on street so not loads of room. We are a 2 car household and the lady on other side is elderly and happy for us to park there so she feels secure. Therefore, simple move is one in front of our house, one between ours and hers.

No.

Idiot NDN drives a humongous van thing which is high enough to cast a big shadow over our living room which he insists on parking in front of our house at every opportunity. Idiot GF cannot park her Corsa so takes up 2 "spaces" as it were.

AIBU to park as close as I can to NDN by creeping my car forward and hanging out the window until there are mere millimetres, thereby blocking him in? He goes to work far earlier than I and I won't answer the door, meaning he would have to work GF up to move her car to get out. He seems to be getting the hint and not parking in front of my house...

Before you ask, can't ask him not to as he frightens me. We're hopefully moving 2015!!

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 27/10/2014 22:42

Well, you don't own the space in front of your house unfortunately. But if it's possible for him to park outside his own house and he's choosing not to it does seem a bit mean.

Scholes34 · 27/10/2014 22:42

Don't understand.

Original poster
WyldChyld · 27/10/2014 22:52

He chooses not to cause a) his GF can't park and b) he doesn't like the shadow it casts over his living room.

Sorry Scholes, not sure which bit...

OP posts:
Littlefish · 27/10/2014 22:54

You are both being unreasonable (and so is his GF).

You are being unreasonable as you don't own the road and cannot dictate to him where he can and cannot park. However both he and his GF are being unreasonable by parking badly and taking up more space than they need.

Why don't you just have a quiet word with him and ask if they could both move up a little so they are in front of their own house. Of course, they are quite at liberty to say no.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2014 22:54

He has told you he parks outside your house so his vehicle doesn't cast a shadow over his? Really?
You don't own street parking.

LuisSuarezFangs · 27/10/2014 22:56

I'm bemused about passive aggressive parking. Is this a new thing?

Original poster
WyldChyld · 27/10/2014 23:01

Wolfie - the lady on the other side of us (who is far more ballsy than I!) told him not to park in front of her house and that's when he told her. He used to park behind our cars I.e. 2 houses down

OP posts:
DevaDiva · 27/10/2014 23:02

Oh come on, yes we all know that we don't own the space outside our own house BUT I think we'd all be a bit annoyed if we had a NDN with a big van that cast a shadow and always parked in front of our house rather than their own.

It's good manners to park outside your own house if at all possible IMO.

Original poster
WyldChyld · 27/10/2014 23:03

I know I'm probably being childish (and half-expected a flaming) but it's one of those little things that drives me mental - I don't want my living room permanently in darkness thanks to his monstrosity which he won't park in front of his own house!

OP posts:
NormaStits · 27/10/2014 23:09

He is being an arse, he doesn't want the inconvenience of being parked outside his window so you get it instead.

Park as close to him as physically possible and let them deal with it in the morning. Don't be surprised if he retaliates somehow though, dicks like that often do.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2014 23:11

It may be annoying but you have no right to tell him where to park. Sorry.

Icimoi · 27/10/2014 23:14

It's a peculiarity of MN that so many people seem to think that the only criterion to be taken into account in deciding whether something is unreasonable is whether it's legal. There is plenty of conduct which is not illegal but is nevertheless thoroughly inconsiderate. Parking your high sided vehicle outside your neighbour's house because you prefer that they be deprived of light rather than you is thoroughly inconsiderate.

jaundicedoutlook · 27/10/2014 23:15

Guess it depends on how attached you are to your bumpers. In my experience drivers of large vans don't mind too much about giving theirs a big old scrape when exiting their parking space...

Fairenuff · 27/10/2014 23:17

YABU, you can't tell him where to park.

Btw what is passive aggressive parking Confused

TeaForTara · 27/10/2014 23:20

If you can't ask him not to because he frightens you, I'm surprised you want to provoke him by blocking him in then not answering the door! Sounds like his neighbour the other side was assertive enough; maybe you need to take lessons from her?

Is he always home before you? I'd try to find a way to get one of your cars in front of your house as much as you can, but otherwise, what PP have said - you don't own the road, it's just tough.

The shade business can't be that relevant at this time of year, now the clocks have gone back, can it? If you're planning to move next year then I'd just try to ignore it, I think.

Wolfiefan · 27/10/2014 23:20

Inconsiderate yes but in the grand scheme of things would it give you the almighty rage?!?!

Original poster
WyldChyld · 27/10/2014 23:33

Passive aggressive parking = me parking in a passive aggressive manner ie like a twat cause I won't talk to him. Car equivalent of "Fine!!"

It very much depends - DH works shifts and I keep odd hours. Biggest issue is weekends as he parks it there Friday lunchtime til Monday morning ballsing up any chance of weekends as he doesn't move it then.

My awesome lady neighbour is in her 80s and the terror of the neighbourhood (she likes me). I wish I was more like her!! This guy loves to stand on his porch smoking weed and when I come home late (live in a horrible area so edgy) jump out and shout to make me jump whilst I open the door.

OP posts:
Pipbin · 27/10/2014 23:40

While I agree with others that you have no right to dictate who parks outside your house, this guy sounds like a twat so piss him off!

And I get very pissed off with people who park on the street and take up '2 spaces'. One of the neighbours in our old house used to do that. Proper pissed me off, firstly because they didn't live in our street but round the corner and secondly because they were driving instructors!

Collaborate · 28/10/2014 11:00

If you park aggressively close to the van, you run the risk of the GF parking similar distance from the other side of your car, jamming you in.
Your elderly neighbour cannot gift anyone the parking space outside her house, and I wonder whether her doing this has inculcated a degree of parking entitlement.
I think YWNBU to ask him to park the van outside his own house if the space there is free, but you cannot dictate to him where he parks it if he can't park in front of his own house. It isn't unreasonable for someone to park as close to their front door as they can. YWNBU to have a word with the GF about not leaving a large unusable gap between vehicles.

Timcook · 28/10/2014 11:13

Ah deck it. I'm sick of being nice to arseholes I vote YANBU so go for it.

VivaLeBeaver · 28/10/2014 11:16

I say yanbu. I'm normally the first to say people don't own the parking space outside their road, etc. but to not park outside his because he doesn't want his living room in shadow by a big van is not nice on his part.

A neighbour used to do that to us and I used to silently seeth. Happily the police are now enforcing the 20min rule outside our house. He used to park for days on end but after a few tickets he's stopped parking there!

catseyes10 · 28/10/2014 11:20

If I were you I would park right up his arse, maybe he'll take the hint. I also live mid terrace, and parking is a nightmare. Neighbour almost races me home from school run so she can park her dour face outside my house rather than hers. rage

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/10/2014 11:23

Rent a Luton van and park it in front of his house?

Icimoi · 28/10/2014 11:27

Our neighbours already have two cars and currently have their daughter and son in law staying with them whilst their house is renovated - they also have two cars. It's causing no end of silent resentment in our road; no-one's happy but no-one wants to start the argument. What makes it worse is that the house the dd and SIL are renovating is in the next road, so that actually there's no reason why they couldn't park there and walk round. I don't think anyone's actually said anything, but there is a sort of silent war going on where everyone near us hogs the spaces outside their houses as long as they possibly can.

I must admit when the space outside our house is free it makes me seriously happy to sail into it Sad. The day I got there whilst NDN's SIL was in the process of turning round with the blatant intention of parking there was a red letter day.

Sometimes I think I may not have the right sense of priorities. Wink

AMumInScotland · 28/10/2014 11:31

YANBU to find it annoying. But I think it would be a very bad move to get into a pissing contest with someone who frightens you. If you can't deal with it calmly and assertively at this stage, how are you going to deal with it when he is legitimately angry at you for blocking him in? And when he then retaliates by blocking you in, or by stepping up what he is already doing to frighten you when you come home late?

I'd settle for fantasising about doing it, and counting down the days till you can move away if you can't actually speak to him about this.

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