About dds new nursery?

[OfficeNewGirl]

Dd has just turned 2 years. She started a new nursery very close to home around 5 weeks ago. Its a new nursery and dd was the first child to secure a place. She attends two days a week.

At first dd was very happy to go in, and wouldnt give me or dh a backward glance!

However after going to nursery around 3 times, dd started to become very hesitant at going in and would want me to pick her up and start to cry when i dropped her off.

There was also another issue with the nursery feeding the children a sweet pudding after dinner every day. I spoke with the nursery about this as i want dd to think sweet things are nice to have occasionally but not as part of an every day diet. The nursery owner explained that she was following guidelines and cake and custard was seen as acceptable as part of a meal but not as a snack. The menu that was displayed was not being followed as dd hadnt eaten anything on the menu that was suppose to be for that day.

I questioned this, but the nursery couldnt answer me and changed the subject.

Everytime i pick dd up her clothing in her bag are full of food stains which are not coming out and are un wearable as they are so stained. So im now chucking clothing out.

Dd will not drink water and has been having weak juice from quite early on as she will not drink at all if water is offered.

The nursery are not happy to offer dd juice as its not nursery policy! They offer diluted fruit juice in the morning but the rest of the time its water.

Now dds urine is very strong a day or so after nursery and her skin on her bottom smells of wee. She also drinks tons of weak juice as soon as she gets through the door at home.

Dd sceams blue murder when being changed. Always has done from a newborn and has done it for anyone who has changed her bum.

I asked nursery today how dd is when being changed, they told me that she is absolutely fine and doesnt cry or scream at all. When i said well she does at home and always has done, a nursery nurse replied that well dd knows who to play and not to play!

I was very annoyed with this comment and felt it was out of order to imply my dd plays me.

I feel that there has been too many issues for such a short time dd has been going.

Am i being picky over things?

I wouldn't say you are being picky. We like what we like, don't we? & she's your daughter so your intuition must be speaking to you somehow. I wouldn't leave my child at a place I wasn't happy with and it wouldn't matter to me whether anyone thought I was being picky, or not. She is young, so move her and hopefully she will settle in better at a place of your choice

No, I don't think you are. My DD won't drink water either, and would honestly choose dehydration over water (she is, needless to say, beyond stubborn).

Puddings I'm more relaxed about, but not giving a bit of leeway over drinks is OTT and potentially hazardous to health.

I provided a bottle of juice for DS when he was at nursery. The policy was no juice but as he wouldn't drink milk or water at this point they gave him what I provided. Is that an option?

Some stuff, yes. The clothes is not worry about. They can be re-worn to nursery. Keep best for home.

Just tell them you don't want her having puffing. Put it in her file/care plan.

The juice thing is tricky, if your dd gets juice, the rest will want juice, then parents will complain about their kids getting juice.

The playing comment? Meh. Don't let it bother you. She was probably just making conversation.

If you have a gut instinct it is not right then I would move her. By the sounds of it there are too many things that don't add up.

Puffing = pudding.

I forgot to mention, im also a trained nursery nurse, although i havent done the job for around 10 years, but i have worked in a few nursery settings so i wasnt sure whether i was being picky as i knew what nurseries should and should not be doing.

The inflexibility about the drinks would concern me, especially if she was not drinking at nurser, and was coming home very thirsty. From a health point of view, it's not good. Just for that alone I woukd move her.

Picky or not if it doesn't feel right find one that does.

Imo the juice thing isn't necessarily a bad thing

Too many toddler swig on vimto

Most schools also have a water or milk policy except for maybe dilute juice with meals

The stains. Send her in old clothes. Provide a big long sleeved bib

You don't sound happy tbh are there any other childcare options?

Oh and as for puddings the guidelines in my LA state snacks and pudding should be fruit or dairy based. If having two lots of fruit snacks then ideally puddings would be dairy - ice-cream yogurt etc

Nurseries are not allowed to give drinks other than water or milk at meal times or snacks, other than watered down fruit juice at breakfast. You'd be amazed how many children will eat and drink things that they don't at home, even if they are only sipping water rather than drinking full cups.
We had a little boy with diabetes who used to happily give me his finger to check his blood and had his insulin injections without a fuss. Parents said they had to catch him and hold him down in order to do it while he screamed blue murder. Young children can be very different in nursery to how they are at home.

Do you think that perhaps the fact that your DD is reluctant to go after a good start has made you over analyse things a bit? It's horrible when your child seems upset at drop off, but I don't think any of these issues are unresolvable
Menu- they should be sticking to this but if it's only happened once it's not a big deal as long as they are aware of allergies etc, ask each day so you know whether it's a regular thing. They should be prepared to offer a piece of fruit instead of a pudding imo
Food stains - part if life. Toddlers that age should be encouraged to self feed and will often rip bibs off! What do you use at home?
Drinking- I don't have a problem with toddlers having squash, but it is a problem when they refuse water altogether. You do realise at pre school, and school, they are usually only allowed water (or milk) unless eating a meal? I would keep offering water at home too, but ask nursery if perhaps your DD could have diluted squash with lunch at least?
Comment- a bit patronising but probably just a throwaway comment - kids to tend to behave better in childcare than at home. perhaps it felt worse because you were already sensitive about the nursery?
At the end of the day, if you don't feel happy, trust your instincts as your DD will pick up on your feelings and may play up at drop off more.

I can understand a policy of not allowing squash (which is what I assume you mean when you say juice) and I think that's fair enough. It is better for children to have water, but if one gets squash then they'll all want it, and it's not fair on families who have never presented squash as an option but have still had to work hard to get their children to drink water. Hopefully your dd will eventually start drinking water because she can see that that's what others do, but there's no hope if that happening if she's given squash.

I wouldn't read anything into the comment about your dd knowing who to 'play',because it can often be true. It's not personal against you, it's just something that even very young children can learn to do.

I would be disappointed about pudding being offered so frequently though, there's just no need for it. And they should be serving what is on the menu, because at the very least, how can they expect you to ensure your dd has a balanced diet when they can't let you know what she will eat at nursery? It doesn't really matter that much just for 2 days a week, but if she was going more it woudo be impossible to plan a balanced diet, so I think that's worth making a fuss about.