To send back my mortgage paperwork?

[chicaguapa]

I have just arranged two new mortgages, all by my big self. I went to the mortgage advisor, chose the mortgages to apply for and wrote the relevant cheques.

So now I'm mildly irritated that all the paperwork has come through to DH as the first name on the mortgage and I'm the second named. We earn similar incomes so it's not even like he's the big man that's making it allow possible.

I don't know why I'm bothered so much as I was happy to take DH's surname when we married etc. But it's really bugged me. I even have to sign in the second named customer box.

Obviously I won't send it back but AIBU to think this is really out-dated?

But does he earn more than you, even if only slightly?

My name was first on our mortgage because my salary was bigger so was the nominal "3x" and his was the nominal "1x" (though we could still have got it with them the other way round).

If that's the case, it's not outdated, it's simply an earnings convention.

YANBU. This sort of thing has happened to me and it really annoys me. I'd get them to change it out of principle.
This sort of thing is very outdated . I am not married to DP but my bank automatically assumed I was Mrs Moon, despite me saying multiple times I was not a Mrs.I know it's super pedantic but now when someone calls and asks for Mrs Moon I say my mother isn't here but I am Sally Moon and can I help :).

I didn't mind when paperwork came through with DH's name first as he earns more than me. Fine. What really grated for me was when I called to discuss the application and they refused to speak to me as DH was the lead name .

In the end they phoned him while he was sitting next to me, he told them he didn't have a clue what they were talking about and they should speak to his wife and had to give them his permission to speak to me about the application. They then phoned me back to say that they could talk to me now......

My mortgage provider did the same thing. I organised it all, dealt with all phone calls/paperwork/meetings, my salary was the (significantly) bigger one of the two of us, yet still everything came through with his name first. It has never caused a problem and probably never will but I noticed it and it definitely riled me so YANBU

My conveyancer asked if I was a Mrs or a Miss. I said Miss. He then asked for my partner's details. I asked why, as I had never mentioned him so far and he wasn't going on the mortgage. He said 'oh I understand' and asked for his details as he was presumably on the mortgage for the property we were selling, even if I was buying on my own.
I told him that he was on neither mortgage, both were in my name only.
I then changed conveyancer to one who didn't assume women only bought property with a man.

This happened to me and made me really cross. It was especially annoying as I was earning a higher salary at the time and his wasn't even taken account of for the mortgage. I'd done all the paperwork and communication and put myself as the first name. When we got everything back, they'd put DH as the first name instead.

I would in all seriousness send it back and ask for it to be changed as it has the potential to be difficult in the future to discuss issues related to the mortgage as the second named person.

Urgh, this does my head in. I manage all the household financial admin (as I enjoy it) and the amount of times my DH is named as the first person is staggering. You do have to get it changed though as it can be a barrier when it comes to changing anything/even talking to them about the account. With British gas (no longer with them) they just omitted me entirely from the account and said they only had room for one name??! When I tried to change it they were really resistant and I had to get my DH to talk to them.
I don't think it's deliberate just highlights some outdated assumptions people/companies have about who holds the purse strings or manages the finances!

This would really piss me off and I'd send the paperwork back.

Not quite the same but DH registered both of our cars in his name and I'm still pissed off about that. I paid for one of them.

Weird, I have organised 3 joint mortgages with MrRinky, and my name is first on all the paperwork: RBS, Halifax and Santander. I am the higher earner though, not sure if that made a difference.

I'd ask for it to be changed if you might need to contact them in the future about the mortgage.

I had similar with a new car. I chose, ordered, insured and was the registered keeper of the car so why they thought putting Mr Grace on the paperwork and key tag would be a good idea I'll never know. I was really petty and refused to authorise the bank transfer until they changed it.

If there is an OH - married or not, male or female, who is going to be resident the mortgage lenders insist that both are on the deeds and both are on the mortgage - essential for their own protection. Nobody should be offended about being asked. A single man is also asked. My DS was grilled about whether he had a DP who would be sharing.

Really Andrew? DH lived with me in my own property for 8 years and when I finally had to raise a mortgage on it, there was no mention of him anywhere on the paperwork once I said it was my name only. Ditto with deeds of the property. If anyone had suggested he had to go onto MY mortgage and the deeds of MY property I would have told them to do one.

I wouldn't get pissed off OP if your DH is first named on a joint mortgage though. Someone has to be first, it's not personal, just irritating when you've done all the leg work.

I think you have to sign something regarding a partner living with you as if a spouse then surely they would have a claim on the property, which the mortgage company might know nothing about. There is a name for it, but it escapes me just now.

That's not true - you don't both have to be named on a mortgage at all. I've heard of people who've sold a house that was jointly owned and then taken out the new mortgage just in one persons name, for instance. (Although why you would do that is totally baffling to me.)

OP, if I were you I'd be annoyed too. We had one letter through from our mortgage provider that put DH's name first (and, in fact, did it in the "Mr & Mrs DHinitial Surname" format, as if I didn't exist). I was mighty pissed off as, like you, I'd dealt with everything, but everything they've sent us since has had my name first. Almost as if I'm a real person

"mortgage lenders insist that both are on the deeds and both are on the mortgage"

Absolute bollocks.

I've got a worse one. I've had a Tesco Clubcard for maybe 15 years. DH got a second card for it when we moved in together (4 years ago). They changed the account to his name despite my being clear he was the second card holder!!!!!

It can be relevant ( or used to be at least ) if the mortgage provider ever issues shares. DF gave me money years ago. I opened a new joint account in both our names with the (then building society) Abbey National. Abbey National then demutualised and became a bank and issued shares - to DH only as his was the first name on the account.

I'm not sure if this is still the case but I was bloody annoyed at the time.

YANBU - send it back and go with a different company or they will never change.

I went to a mortgage adviser and they automatically put my details into the "second applicant" space before they even knew what my DH earns (about half what I do). I walked out and said I wouldn't be doing business with them. Sexism that is never challenged and doesn't have any negative consequences will stay the same through apathy.