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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

bathtime snoopers

55 replies

motherofmonster · 27/10/2014 15:17

When did you stop your DC coming into the bathroom if you were in the shower/ bath?

so i don't drip feed , my ds is 5 and it is just me and him, usually after school/ work is bath time but am wondering what age should you stop your kids from strolling in and out?
Not only is he starting to ask questions but also it would be nice to have a soak without him walking in and announcing he needs a poo . Ive started to try to not have baths until about 9pm when he is fast asleep, but then cant dry my hair with the hairdryer as it would wake him up.
At what age did you close the door so to speak?

OP posts:

AliMonkey · 27/10/2014 20:57

Happens regularly here despite having as many toilets in the house as we have people! This morning DD age 9 came in to chat about what she should wear, while I was having a shower. I agree there probably is a point around puberty when you maybe have to start putting boundaries in place with DC of opposite sex but certainly don't see an issue of it when they are young. It also naturally leads to them asking questions around bodies / puberty etc which is much better than waiting to have the "big talk" at some point.

HelpMeGetOutOfHere · 27/10/2014 21:03

No toilet in our bathroom. It's seperate. But rarely shut the door when we're in the bath or shower. The bathroom is tiny and feels very claustrophobic when the door is closed also you can't open or close the door with the bath mat on the floor. It is a huge bath great for a soak but takes up most of the room.

We do close the door to the toilet though. No one needs to see you having a poo! Dc here are 17, 12 & 8.

snipsnipsnippysnip · 27/10/2014 21:12

I used to sit and chat to my nana when she had a bath, I still do to my mum. I think as we're all women it didn't really matter to any of us. I tend not to shut the door to my DD's either.

PrimalLass · 27/10/2014 21:49

I just lock the door. Easy.

Bunbaker · 28/10/2014 08:29

So do I PrimalLass

It isn't to do with being prudish. I just want and need some "me time".

Stabbystabbystabbyface · 28/10/2014 08:56

It's impossible to bathe/shower with my ds(3) around so I wait till he's in bed at 7pm, otherwise I end up in a bath full of toys and him begging to get in.
Dd(17) always needs a poo when I'm in the bath I'm beginning to think she's saving it up specially!

HamishBamish · 28/10/2014 09:01

My two still come in at 6 and 4. I don't have a problem with it.

As a rule there's no pooing if I'm in the bath, but sometimes the younger one can't wait (despite being asked if he needed to go minutes before).

Bunbaker · 28/10/2014 09:02

When DD was younger I would wait until she was asleep in bed, so I have always had my me time in the bathroom for a bath or shower.

SurfsUp1 · 28/10/2014 09:05

Have you actually tried drying your hair? IME hair dryer noise doesn't tend to wake them. I discovered this after many many wet haired nights fretting about waking them with the dryer.

I could have dried my hair sitting on the end of their beds and they would;t have woken up!

Vivacia · 28/10/2014 09:06

Our bathroom door is generally open, and shower time is literally one getting in as the other gets out. Apart from that they all know not to open the door if it's closed to and that there's nothing wrong with having the door closed if they wish.

Idiotdh · 28/10/2014 09:07

Lock the door.
Literally have never seen siblings and parents in the bath or been communally to the bathroom, and in our house we bathe and go to the toilet alone! Can't imagine it any other way !

QuintessentiallyGhoulish · 28/10/2014 09:10

So, do you actually have a long soak in the bath daily?
Why not have a quick shower and wash your hair in the bath, you would be in and out within 10 minutes.

Bunbaker · 28/10/2014 09:12

All of you who leave the bathroom door open, do you not suffer from damp problems in the rest of the house?

SurfsUp1 · 28/10/2014 09:13

Idiotdh well it's not the sort of thing that happens when guests come over!!

Just because it doesn't happen at your house doesn't mean it's weird or even unusual.

WeirdCatLady · 28/10/2014 09:19

Dh started shutting the door when dd was about 5ish as he didn't feel comfortable flashing his bits at her. I'm an open door gal, happy to be nude in front of dd. Dd shuts the door everytime. Everyone is different.

At 5 your ds is old enough to be told he has to wait while you bathe in peace.

BreadForBrains · 28/10/2014 09:42

Dc are 10, 8 and 3. If I have a bath or shower during the day (rare, tend to do it before they wake or when they've gone to bed), I don't lock the door.
I'm a sahm, 'me time' of having privacy in the bath doesn't interest me, it's time OUT of the house alone that I'm after
Dp wouldn't count his morning shower as 'me time', it's just basic hygiene, doesn't matter to us if anyone wants to come in for a chat, get something out of the cupboard, brush their teeth or whatever.
If you don't like it, lock the door. It's as simple as that, it's too personal to judge for other people.

mooboos · 28/10/2014 10:25

I am 28 and I still go in and chat to my mum when I visit and she's in the bath. I just sit on top of the loo lid and we natter away. Always have done!

cardibach · 28/10/2014 10:38

Like many body privacy things, it shouldn't happen if anyone feels uncomfortable. If you and your children are happy with open door bathing and pooing then it's fine. If either is uncomfortable, it isn't fine.
I have never had a public bath/shower/toilet visit. DD just waited until I was finished - and I've been a single parent since she was a baby. As someone else says it can teach patience and understanding of the needs of others. It's not the only way to teach that, though, I'm sure.

Open bathrooms seem bloody weird to me all the same

Mammanat222 · 28/10/2014 11:03

One bathroom here too, it's not unheard of for me to go in and have a wee when OH is in the bath

alemci · 28/10/2014 11:06

mine never came in, apart from when they were babies. I always showered and locked the door, luckily our loo was separate.

whois · 28/10/2014 11:08

We have 3 loos but my youngest still feels the need to have a wee in the room I'm using, the pest!

Then you clearly like being is 'needed'. Otherwise you'd say 'no ds, use the other toilet'.

I think it's a bit strange all this having your children come in and poo while you're in the bath - ask before you go in for your bath, and if they change their mind they can wait 10 mins for you to get out!

alemci · 28/10/2014 11:09

Stabby I am amazed that a 17 year old would want to poo in front of anyone.

SaucyJackOLantern · 28/10/2014 11:10

Yeah, I guess it has far more to do with personal preference than how many toilets you've got. I can't say it bothers me at all tbh.

But I do draw the line at them following me in when I'm having a dump and then complaining about the smell

bloodyteenagers · 28/10/2014 11:20

I say I am going in the bath, anyone needs anything now is the time.
Anyone knocks on the door, they are asked if it's important. It's not so they are sent away.
One of my dd's became a bit of a pain, so everytime she went in the bath o I bugged her. She soon stopped.
My bath time is mine. It's onne of the few times I switch off.
Everyone needs privacy and if a door is closed don't disturb.

Jessicahyde85 · 28/10/2014 11:20

My mother never stopped me walking in, or my friends or her friends, and she will still strip off and "body brush" now if you are unlucky enough!

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