To want my in-laws to leave?

[Manymoons14]

I'm a newbie so sorry if I've got this all wrong but am currently hiding in my bedroom after being up the whole night being sick with some bug, I'm achey and 5 months pregnant. My in-laws (who've been staying for a week already) are supposed to be heading away today, but they aren't being quick about it (it's past midday).

They're nice people and I like having them staying generally but I'm now desperate for them to go! AIBU?

Trust me, the time to tackle this is long before your baby arrives.

You are ill and pregnant now, but it's still a much better time to deal with it than when you are exhausted, vulnerable and hormonal - dealing with a groping drunk and a pair of enablers will be much tougher then.

I agree with Inertia - at least get some agreement or ground rules firmed up with your DH before the baby arrives, or it could be really tough. for you feeling ill.

A week long visit? You deserve a medal, not to have to hang out in your bedroom til they depart!

Honestly, if I knew someone was ill in a house where I was staying, I'd rush around on tiptoe to get out of there without causing them inconvenience. Talk about inconsiderate!

What Inertia said, x 10000000.

If he touches you under the table gran his hand lift it up and dump it on table saying 'keep you hands off me!' Say it loud and every time he does it he has no right to touch you. No matter how complex a relationship your dh has with him why is he standing back and letting you be sexually assaulted?? That's a disgrace!

He is not a functional alcoholic. They can maintain relationships etc. while drinking. He sexually assaults people. Not functional.

If your DH is unwilling or unable to tackle this, my line to DH would be, "next time your DF touches me inappropriately, I will call the Police and report a sexual assault". Because make no mistake, that's what this is.

You DH is very very unreasonable. Is he just going to sit there and minimise if his father hurts your child? What if FIL drops the baby, or gets too grabby? Does he not feel the need to protect said child?

Bad enough he allows his father to behave this way towards his wife when she's in a very vulnerable position.

I agree with MrsTerrorPratchett. I wouldn't have him in the house, they can meet somewhere else or you all meet in public.

We had a long chat where I had to be firm and have agreed that he won't be left alone with the child, and that MIL will come visit by herself when baby is here and when we visit them we will keep it daytime. If we feel uncomfortable with the way he is around me/baby then we will explain and he will just have to react how he will react. We are also going to stay with my BIL rather than them as they live close and have a kid. We will revisit this as and when it works or not. I really appreciate an outside reaction and realise that things have not been ok. This feels a good step forward

Glad you have an agreed approach OP. If at any point you need to revisit it, I hope you feel you can without worrying about upsetting the apple cart. You and DH being a 'team', regardless of approach, is the key.

Glad to see you have made headway :)

You are never obliged to appease someone who assaults you , irrespective of how closely related yhey are or how much they think they deserve to see their grandchild.