AIBU to wish all parents saw the good in their children?

[Nativity3]

I have name changed so won't be identifiable or giving out any identifying details in my post.

To sum it up without revealing anything identifiable, we have a 'Horrid Henry and perfect Peter' situation at work. Parent is very positive about 'Peter' but has nothing nice to say about 'Henry'.

She comes to the door at pick up and her first words are usually 'what's he done today, who has he hurt etc'. It's incredibly sad to see.

We try and tell her lots of positives which are met with a face but sometimes we do have to pass on details about his behaviour but try and keep anything negative to a minimum in line with work policy.

AIBU to wish she would see the good in him? We have made him star of the day etc and it's all just dismissed.

Anyone handled anything similar? I think his emotional well being is being affected but our safeguarding officer dismissed this. At what point if at all does it become a safeguarding issue?

I am afraid I would have to say something. Though I expect that's against your training....I'd say "I notice you're quite negative about him. I do hope this stops soon or we may have a situation."

Which is of course ambiguous but might give her pause for thought.

She could construe it as "His behaviour will worsen" or "I will report you you cow".

I'm not sure your safeguarding officer was right to dismiss it. You have reported a concern and at the very least a record should be made internally of what the concern is and why it is not being taken further.

I would be inclined to try and have a chat with the parent without directly accusing them of favouritism - say something like, I've noticed you seem worried/stressed about x's behaviour and that surprised me as he's a delight/whatever is true, I wondered if everything is okay?

Thank you for the suggestion... Sounds like a good plan!

This is a sad situation....but maybe like me she is just so worn down by it all that she doesn't realize she is doing it...I was having a hard time with my then 5 year old DS...I loved him to bits but was genuinely struggling with his behaviour...an older lady (bit like a surrogate granny ) who we loved to visit took me aside one day and very firmly pointed out what I was doing....God it hurt and I was massively embarrassed and upset...but it did make me think...I really tried not to do it again and 20 years later I can still remember it...but she was right...is there no one who can spend some time having a chat...maybe she is struggling too...