Aibu to expect things to be done!!!

[pumpkinsweetie]

I don't go out very often, but when I do I don't expect to come back to a trashed home.

I am a sahm and my dh does 8th shifts 5 days a week, I do nearly all the housework and cooking as I realize that is my job-keeping the house and watching our 5dc: ages between 9m & 11yo.

But on the rare event that I go on a night out, in which I also have dinner out, aibu to be highly pissed off I come home to a sink full with his and dcs dirty dishes, pans and glass overflowing all over the kitchen sides. Bins unemptied, dirty washing scattered around the washing basket and not actually inside of it

Is it unreasonable of me to expect my oaf of a dh to do a little bit of washing up?

I tell him I am not happy and instead of actually doing it, I get a sarcy comment about buying a dishwasher and I'm left to it yet again.

Do I invest in a dishwasher or make him get his hands dirty?

Let HIM buy YOU a dishwasher. Or there's a nice competition to roadtest a Miele one somewhere on MN.

Tell him to do the dishes from last night, and buy you a dishwasher.

Good idea super!
Tbh washing up is my bug bear with 7 people and 2 pets under one roof, especially as none of them ever do this particular chore.

He can buy the dishwasher and load the thing.

FGS don't let it be a Christmas present to you though!

PS OP - are the pets trainable - eg to wash up, in the meantime?!

Oh god no lol, got to have something exciting for christmas

My mum when we were kids was offered a present of a dishwasher by her mother, for some reason she turned it down (cue me and brother fighting for years over washing up).

when we turned 11 my mum bought a dishwasher and wondered what she'd ever done without it!

Not sure I like the idea that some pps have put forward that he buys YOU a dishwasher.

I suggests he buys a dishwasher for the use of the family and you BOTH make use of it all the time.

Lazy sod - obviously him, not you OP - you're a SAHM not a skivvy.

And go out more often OP:)

I woke DH up from his lie in after seeing the mess, took the kids out and told him I wanted it sorted by the time I got back.

I see it as a total lack of respect and appreciation to allow the dc to make so much mess and not clean up after dinner.

Does he value your role.

Yanbu. Sadly I'm in the same boat where just because he works he feels he has the right to have a go at me just because his jeans weren't washed. I do t sit around doing fuck all. I'm. Busy spending 4/5 hours a day training to and from our children's school/nursery whilst also fitting in dating to fit down and have a x of fee, driving lessons twice a week a part time job which takes up my evenings twice a week and doing all the cooking and packed lunches and washing. The house is a mess as I get no help and have no time but god forbid his jeans get missed in the never ending washing piles I have to wash dry and put away in between being on a bus and helping with homework.

What a bitch I am.

You have my sympathies op

And yes do go out more often! !!

Training? Travelling

Cup of coffee

Excuse typos am on phone

Of course it's not unreasonable to expect a grown man and parent of over a decade to manage too wash up once in his lifetime. And buy YOU a dishwasher? Is the Hoover yours too? And the mop? These things are 'stuff we have' here, just like the sofa isn't mine, and the shower isn't his. Weird.

OK I should have spelled it out - dishwasher meant for family's use, however it means OP will probably load/unload it. but she can train her DH to do this too.

and yes OP as everyone keeps saying go out and enjoy yourself more often!

Go ahead and get a dishwasher. But let me warn you, it's just as hard to get them to put the dishes in the dishwasher as it is to get them to wash them by hand! At least it is with my lot. God forbid they have to rinse a plate and stick it in the machine!!

Drives me bonkers.