To get irritated with friend thinking every man fancies her?

[floraldora]

Friend is mid thirties, has been a single mum for a few years, averagely pretty/attractive but thinks she is supermodel standard, and is absolutely convinced that every man she comes across fancies her and is after her.

She is always telling other friends and I stories about how she is friends with loads of her friends' husbands and that they all fancy her and send her messages.

If we go out for a meal and the person serving our table is male, she will spend the whole time convinced he is after her. If we're out and see any men that she knows, she will say about how they are after her and send her messages on FB. Or she will be convinced that random men in pubs/restaurants are looking at her, even when they're clearly out with their wife/partner and not looking at her at all. She has even said that a gay man that she works with has told her that she is the only woman that could 'make him act like a straight man'

It is literally her main topic of conversation; who fancies her, who has sent her fb and text messages, who has asked her out.

Her only other topic of conversation is really about how attractive she is, and about how men and women have approached her in public and told her how pretty she is, and how gorgeous her clothes are, and how great her figure is. Which has never happened when we've been anywhere together, so I'm doubtful that that happens either.

AIBU to find her very irritating? I can't ditch her as she is part of a wider group of friends.

If she's coming across them the very least you'd hope is that they fancy her! (sorry, couldn't resist)

Have you tried a passive aggressive 'It's a wonder you're still single'?

Annoying I agree, but why do any of the 'wider group' hang out with her if she's that silly? She must have some redeeming features???

She sounds lonely and looking for reassurance.

Tbh id rather listen to that than someone drone on about how fat they are/how shit their husband is/how skint they are!

Oh my sister does this, every man is flirting, after her. She has now extended it to her kids "oh all the teachers and the headmaster say he is a genius and must go to Oxbridge, but the PE teacher says that he will be an Olympic standard runner, I don't know which direction to push him in". DN is five.

It makes them very tiresome company sometimes. I think it's insecurity. I tend to change the subject repeatedly. Don't have any better advice, I am afraid, except that as you are not related you could avoid.

I have a similar friend, only she's not single. Unhappy marriage and desperate for affirmation. I try and be kind but it is tedious to listen to. I have also met the 'all your husbands fancy me' type. Invariably they do not and if they are aware of her at all they think she's just a cringey flirt.

I agree that she sounds lonely and incredibly lacking in self esteem. Bit worrying that she's boasting about her friends husbands' fancying her though, what kind of "friend" does that make her? Next time she says anything like that I'd be very honest and ask why she's pleased married men are after her and that you hope she's ignoring these messages (if they even exist). Maybe a bit confrontational but if a married man came onto me, especially one who was married to a friend I'd think he was a creep. I'd have no patience for that kind of thing and would need to tell her going around saying these things isn't funny.

Is your friend Samantha Brick?

I think she must be Samantha Brick's long lost twin, effin

You should ask her how she manages to stay single with all the temptation

Definitely insecurity.

Sounds so tiresome. Yanbu!

She does sound desperately insecure. She must in practice be putting men off in droves.

Lambzig Love it. My DSis, bless her, can't decide whether her DGS (rising four) is going to be Lord Chief Justice or captain of England or Prime Minister, or perhaps all three one one after the other.

OP Your friend is the one with the problem, not you. Just take care that the whole circle of friends take their fair share of the shit. And imagine what her poor bloody colleagues must have to endure and they have not got the choice of cutting her loose.

I know two people like that and really it is all a show and seizures horribly insecure. it's almost if they keep saying it they might start to believe it themselves i feel sorry for them

I have a gay friend who tends to think guys fancy him. When he was a medical student he got a place shadowing a GP who happens to be a family friend. At the end of week one he announced that Dr X fancied him and was a closet gay. As I know Mrs X I thought he was being narcissistic and a bit delusional.
Fast forward a year and Dr X came out as gay, moved to the Gay Village in Manchester and he declared he was in love with my gay friend.

Totally agree with the low self esteem . She is trying to convince you all she isn't dried up and left on the shelf.
I have a friend on my facebook who is similar and posts overtly sexual pictures of herself - lots of pictures of her fake boobs in tops ect.. I used to think she was a nob but know I just feel sorry for her and her ten year old daughter

I have a 'friend'like this it's is so cringeworthy. Very average looking approaching her 40th birthday. Absolutely utterly convinced every man fancies her when she obv sends sex vibes out.,,they just want to get her into bed by flattering her ffs.

She sounds very lonely and insecure. Have you tried having a gentle word with her?

I have a friend like this too. She is not insecure and she genuinely believes it. I only get annoyed when she implies it's my husband and his friends who fancy her. Some of them do and might have done, like any woman, but it really isn't as relentless as she describes.

What I find completely baffling and delusional is when we're being served in restaurants or out she "responds" to all men as if they are flirting with her. "Well hello.... Why are you looking at me like that?" They'll say "like what? I was just getting my drink." And she'll turn to me and say "ugh creepy pervert..."

She has also dropped a few "sexual harassment" bombs about people. I apparently 'witnessed' one and I can tell you it was more the other way round!

I think she is insecure too its very tedious though when I was/single my close friend was also single quite attractive for late 30, e early fourties But everybody fancied her too I admit she got a lot of attention but only one night stands, very short term flings she was very unhappy, my sil is also like this very narcissistic she like a previous poster said has also extended it too her kids who are all model material and budding genius,s in reality they are averagely attractive and decidley averagely at best academically its tiring I agree!

That's funny because all women fancy me.... they really do.

I had a gay friend who did this. I thought "Bahahaha! Poor sod thinks everyone is after him, how insecure etc"

And then I saw all the messages and he got off with the straightest man in our office who he said had been chasing him for weeks and we all laughed. It was TRUE!

I think because my friend was seen as a flirt, people DID message him because they thought he was up for it and tried their luck. So I can't tell if YABU or NBU unless she categorically isn't being private messaged by these people.

I have a work colleague like this, mid 50s and thinks every man finds her irresistible. often tells us stories of some random bloke who invited her out for a drink or winked at her in the supermarket. . . even decided that ds2 loved her when he was blowing me goodbye kisses as I was walking into work

funnily enough, neither mine or my other 2 colleagues dh/dp's can stand her

Tell her most people grow out of this kind of delusional behaviour in their teens. That or roar with laughter every time she suggests the waiter/someone's husband/grandad/dog fancies her and say 'Oh, X, you're such a scream, it's always hilarious going out with you.' Point to a male ambulance driver doing 80 mph/ a octogenarian on a zimmer frame/David Cameron on the news and say they definitely fancy her too

Juvenile? Yes, but so is the 'God, he soooo fancies me, look at him blushing' thing.

YANBU. I have one friend like this but not as bad, but it's still bloody annoying! She will remark how she can't go here or there because it's a meat market and so many men will come on to her (they don't).

I knew another woman that thought she had the biggest breasts in the universe. Really every conversation came back to how big her boobs were (she wasn't that big!) and she was obsessed with her boobs and thought everyone else was, too.

I think it's just plain insecurity really. As with other things I'd rather not discuss it's just easiest to completely change the subject each and every time. "That guy is looking at me", response: "I'm so glad tomorrow is a holiday" or whatever. Repeat as often as needed.