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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To really dislike teenagers?

13 replies

Alonge · 25/10/2014 05:40

It was my daughter's birthday and we agreed she could have a party. It cost a small fortune, but she was so looking forward to it, and then they all left really early to go somewhere else. Even her best friend. (joint party) Why? Is this what they do now? My daughter is very upset and I am pretty pissed off.

OP posts:
YouNerrNoothinJonSnerr · 25/10/2014 05:45

It's a bit tricky if there have been two parties arranged on the same night. I understand why you are both gutted but perhaps it could have been sorted out with better planning? Did your DD know this other party was happening?

What do you call really early?

Original poster
Alonge · 25/10/2014 05:52

It wasn't another party, just another night in suburbia. They trashed my house then went to the local pizza place or wherever.

OP posts:
YouNerrNoothinJonSnerr · 25/10/2014 06:14

oh. Sad I think perhaps your DD had invited people who were not really her friends at all. Or did they feel you cramped their style because you stayed ever-present and did not allow alcohol?

You need to say more about what actually happened.

I am sorry you are both so upset. It must be horrible.

sykadelic · 25/10/2014 06:23

Same thing happened to a close family member when they planned a party - their engagement party :(

ALL of the male family member's friends went to another party instead (that advertised open bar - the engagement party was as well but they didn't want people to come only for that reason). The female family member had maybe 3 friends attend and the rest was family.

Totally understand how your daughter is feeling. It's a fear of mine :(

DogCalledRudis · 25/10/2014 08:33

I guess there was no booze or weed at your party

Bowlersarm · 25/10/2014 08:38

Teenagers are really flaky. It was such a shock with ds1. They change their plans all the time, they don't seem to have too much loyalty to each other at times.

I'm now prepared with ds3-took me two lots of practise runs with ds1 and ds2 though Smile

Hope your dd recovers quickly.

marmaladestars · 25/10/2014 08:41

I don't think the OP does need to "say more about what actually happened"; I think she and her dd were treated appallingly.

I hope your dd wasn't too upset Flowers

Patienceisapparentlyavirtue · 25/10/2014 08:48

Sadly this isn't just teenagers any more - plenty of people we know are in their late 20s and early 30s and will still do exactly the same thing. Or the ones who RSVP on Facebook and never show.

It's so hard, and so unfair to your dd. The only consolidation I could give her is that it ISN'T her. Next time around there are probably ways to change the setup, whether that is ringing around, double checking days or working out the right level of parental presence etc - but that doesn't make it in any way her fault!

Hope you were able to have a good time as a family at least Thanks

cozietoesie · 25/10/2014 08:52

Parties at the family house aren't always seen as 'cool', I'm afraid. (They can't get wasted and screw around unless the parents are off in Tibet or something.) One of those things.

I'm amazed my own parents were still talking to me when I reached my twenties.

She and you tried though. That will be remembered.

ToastyFingers · 25/10/2014 09:00

Ah, your poor DD.
That's rubbish.

I think we do need more info though, if for instance, you had a house full of 17 year olds, with no alcohol and enforced party games then its sad, but unsurprising people left early.

Bunbaker · 25/10/2014 09:01

Flowers for you and your daughter.

Teenagers are horrible aren't they. I can't understand why they are so flaky and disloyal. I don't remember it ever being as bad as that when I was a teenager. DD is having issues with ex "friends" at school right now so I completely understand what it is like.

velourvoyageur · 25/10/2014 14:35

I was a teenager not so long ago and my friends were lovely.

We could also be horrible to each other of course. But leaving a party early- that wouldn't have happened. There was a lot of emphasis on sticking up for people (I wouldn't have survived at school without my group- I was easily the geekiest among them) & being loyal. It wouldn't have been cool to do what your DD's friends did so it really isn't all teenagers.

I went to a party in y8 which was a bit flat at first but everyone stayed and the chavvy girls decided to take things in hand and get everyone dancing- I thought that was nice of them.

  • when I use the word chav I use it totally neutrally.....grew up in the North where it's a perfectly fine way to describe someone....
YouNerrNoothinJonSnerr · 25/10/2014 15:48

Exactly Toastie that was what I was driving at by saying we needed more info to make a judgement. either way, not many people are prepared to host teenaged parties at all, so it's a kick in the teeth for the OP and her DD to be treated like this.

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