To find passive aggressive women exhausting and not know how to manage them

[saltnpepa]

I have a friend who is obviously pissed off with me because I gave my child's bag of second hand clothes to another mutual friend but rather than say anything she is making shitty little comments while still calling me 'hun'. Why are some women petty like this and then passive aggressive. I wouldn't care less if she said she thought I ought to have offered her first (there is no logical reason why I should or shouldn't). Why does she care when she has plenty of money and I only gave this other friend because she was over while I was clearing out clothes? We have never swapped clothes, I am under no obligation. Yet here I am with her suddenly not asking me anything about how I am, not txting or phoning, yet still giving it the 'hey hun'. Honestly am I destined to always be surrounded by such pettiness? Am I the only one who finds this sort of nonsense exhausting?

It seems very irregular. Are you sure she's annoyed with you about that? What makes you think it is related?

What did she actually say?

There was no problem before, there's been a few snipey comments about it and she has been petty with other people. I have to see her everyday at the school gates. Such utter nonsense and will be glad when ds can walk himself to school!

it's a pain. i have a pa friend. seriously thinking of just saying oh do fuck off dear.

I just ignore it. I can't be doing with it. If you have something to say, SAY IT or don't bother me.

I do wonder though if it has something to do with the person feeling that they have to be 'nice' and so can't express anger or are scared to assert themselves.

Just ignore her and act normally yourself and hopefully she will grow up.

It doesn't seem to be the normal situation. If you feel you are surrounded by these types of people, then it's time to make new friends.

I know both men and women who are passive aggressive. It's annoying but it's their way of dealing with conflict. Be straight her, say what is the issue. Make her deal with it properly.
Saying hun is embarrassing whether you're annoyed or not

If she's making comments about it, how do you reply? I she was just having a little sulk about something so daft then if prefer her to keep it to herself and then get over it but if she is twittering about it I'd have to just make her talk about it outright. You are, of course, not the only one who cannot be arsed with such pettiness.

Passive aggressive used to be called "being a twat".

I like to call a spade a shovel.

Oh I asked her if she was upset about it.....answer? No hun

Just using the word "hun" is irritating in itself.

LTB for calling you Hun

Is she a Nethun?

YABU to generalise about PA women. Being a knob has nothing to do with gender.
But your friend does sound like she's being a knob, so YANBU to be pissed off at that.

Yep, been there, women I didn't know for very long who made a point of making friends with me in real life, would start debates on FB on topics she knew little about and write utter drivel, then berated me, and I mean berated, to the point of de-constructing my character in a smug, supercilious way when I posted replies. She concluded by stating that she would remain friends with me but would be monitoring me for future "harsh words". I told her to get lost, quite politely, but I did.

Seriously, do some people wonder why they can't keep friends?

Awful. If someone has a problem with me, I would so much rather they just bloody well talked to me about it, personally. Nine out of ten times, it's a misunderstanding or thoughtlessness or whatever, that could be so easily fixed with an apology and explanation! From me or them That's what friends who care about the friendship should be able to,do of God's sake. Most people don't upset others intentionally most of the time for the fun of it. My God I'm tetchy today!

It quite hard, especially at the school gate to be honest and say you think someones a twat. She probably dislikes you but feels obliged to keep up the pretense.
I'm usually honest but I work with someone who was a friend outside work. I find her incredibly annoying at work but it's a small team and we can't fall out properly. I'm afraid the snide comments do pop out from time to time. Especially when she bangs on all the time about her diet but literally stuffs her face for the entire lunch break and always comments about being "naughty" as she buys her daily chocolate bar. I've no problem with her constant eating really but it's annoying when she mentions her diet the whole bloody time .. Grr ..breathe.