To expect 8mo to nap for longer than 35 effing minutes

[Givemecoffeeplease]

I put him down at 8.45, 12.30 and 4. He never sleeps for more than the baby sleep cycle of 35/40 mins. I've tried leaving him to settle himself but it doesn't work, he just gets hysterical. He sleeps well at night (7pm - 6am) so I know I am lucky really but I'm frazzled (actually I'm fucking exhausted) trying to fit my life around 3 tiny windows. He's crawling and standing so I can't leave him when he's up as he will find a way to bash himself (or get halfway up the stairs - stair gates on order!). Aibu to think he should sleep longer to give me a fighting chance of staying on top of life?! And how do I achieve this? Dropping the 4pm nap doesn't make the others any longer.

Thanks for any words of wisdom. Or sympathy!!

Get a playpen? You could stick him in that for short periods when he's awake and you need to get stuff done?

Get a playpen/travel cot so he can bash around in there safely while you do bits and pieces.

I do sympathise deeply. It gets better.

Words of sympathy from me, my DS was exactly like this and I was frazzled. I know that's not much help, but it does pass. DS started napping longer, of his own accord, once he started walking. It was as if he needed tiring out, I didn't really understand because he was always in the go. The longer naps started around 1 year and for 2 hours :). It does get better.

Sympathy here from me. My 17mo still only naps for 30 minutes once a day.

I just do life with him awake. He potters about while I do the chores for the day. When he is asleep I have a cup of tea and a biscuit.

And I 3rd the playpen idea! It saved my sanity :). The BabyDan ones are good.

My DS was like this till around 9-10 months when he started sleeping for 45 mins and then by 12 months he could do 2 hour stretches. But he would sleep anywhere so I wasn't stuck in the house.

Just think at least he sleeps well at night. Mine didn't sleep through till after he was 3 so we had crap nights and then 3 lots of 30 min naps for a long time.

He is an amazing sleeper now he's nearly 5 - just took a long time to get there!

Thank you. Great to hear it gets better. I'm grateful for the nights but not sure how the hell I file my tax return or write a proposal to go back to work part time. I'm sure I'll figure it out and when we move out of our temporary accom I'm def getting a playpen. Although I think I need to get through the separation anxiety first! Have lovely weekends.

Poor you, I remember this. Have you tried the Baby Whisperer's Wake-To-Sleep method? Sounds nuts, but it really worked for us; you go in and "disturb" them when they're sleeping, five or ten minutes before they usually wake up (at about 25 mins? You might need to check the details). Sometimes just opening the door and moving around the room is enough, but we used to put a hand on her chest and she would sigh in her sleep, or move her head, showing she had been disturbed.

You do it at every nap (and maybe when s/he goes off for the night too? You might need to check), and it's supposed to work within about three days. Supposedly it breaks the sleep cycle and resets it, so they sleep longer. It's nerve-wracking, as you want to disturb them but not wake them up - but if your baby is waking up like clockwork every time anyway, it might be worth a try and you shouldn't lose too much of your precious downtime.

Good luck, I really hope it works for you! Otherwise, I'm sure it will pass naturally with time; perhaps when your baby is ready to drop a nap.

My 7.5 month old says YABVU.

SaucyJack - my 7 mo thinks so too! How is she supposed to investigate everything in the house if it make her go to sleep?!

My 9 month old sleeps about 40 mins in the morning and then 60 mins in the afternoon.

So your DS has about the same time just over 3 naps. That obviously works for him, and isn't that uncommon for 8m old to still be on 3 naps like that so YABU

But oh my god I sympathise!!!!

Dd1 slept for 40 mins every 2 hours. Friends DC were all having 2hr naps and I was soooooo jealous.

However at 2 she reverted to a long lunchtime nap (other people's DC starting to drop them) which coincided beautifully with Dd2 being 3 months and setting into a long lunchtime nap. Result!!!
She slept in the day till she was over 4.

I know how it feels, my ds used to cat nap with one eye open! This all changed at about 12 months when he went to one two hour nap. Good luck , I'm sure it will get easier .

I'm lucky if my 7m/o naps for more than half an hour.

He is usually awake between 8am - 8pm and in that time he will normally only have 2x30 minute naps. He doesn't sleep through the night either

My toddler thinks your DS is NBU.

It gets easier. So I'm told. I'm still waiting for the 'sleep is fantastic' mode to install in DC.

You have my sympathy.

Sorry but dd never got the hang of napping - she started to ditch her daytime nap at 20 months. You just have to do stuff with him, I used to put dd in a back carrier while I did odd jobs.

DS slept for about 45 mins at 10am and the same at 3pm. He didn't sleep through the night til he was 3. Its bloody awful but gets easier!

Well well. It would appear that I have your sons female partner in crime. I am so exhausted. At 7 months she'll nap for 30 mins a time max, maybe longer in the car seat but then I am trapped in the car too scared to leave her.
It'll be 1.5 hours worth of naps a day max. She crawls, she's pulling herself up to standing and climbs - all. the. time. It took me 30 mins to make myself a sandwich earlier as I just can't leave her. If I put her in her walker she just whines and whines. When I ate said sandwich she was attached to the end of it!
I actually dread anyone asking me how I am (you know REALLY asking you) as a long monologue about exhaustion and not being able to get anything done just flows out. I am so boring these days.
She was screaming (i mean ear splitting screaming which is unusual) earlier when I was getting her down for her nap. She was so tired but fights it until
the last possible second. I was shaking afterwards it was that bad and no I'm not usually dramatic!
So no advice but lots of understanding. Wouldn't be without her though - strangely enough!

Gently disturb him after around 20 mins eg. Rub his belly, gently stroke head . Just enough to slightly disturb him but not wake.

He is waking after his first sleep cycle finishes instead of drifting back off. So if you do this it pre rouses him and sends him back off for another cycle.

I did this with dd at around 7/8 months as her sleep went to shit got a really good sleep book and it worked a fucking treat ! She still has a two hour nap now at 16 months.

Honestly it will work!!

When dd was doing this I did my best to stay n the house for a week and just work on her sleep. I know it's not practical but It really helped. No play groups ect..

At that age you are aiming for a nap three hours after they wake for around 1.5 then three hours after that another nap for around the same amount. Honestly my life revolved around dd sleep patterns. I was like a day cat lady, it did work though and it massively helped with her sleep at night.

sloe are you caching her sleep cues before she gets tired? When she visibly looks tired - she probably is past tired IYKWIM.

look at Activity stations. They are fab. You can pick them up second hand as they are only any use till they start walking but they love them and keeps them occupied while you get done what you need

I'm not sure I am, I do watch and look for a yawn, or ear/eye rubbing but it's always a battle in the day so I must be doing something wrong.
Tomorrow I'm going to do as previous posters have said and aim for three hours after wake up (this is normal) but I'll try the 20min disturbance to see how that goes, I'll make sure I bring her away from toys when i put her down so she doesn't have anything to get too excited about.
Sorry for hijack op, it's great to see others in the same boat as none of my friends with babies are - good to see some helpful ideas too!

God the lengths you go to to get your babies some sleep!!! Bless them!!

I read a book and give it a bash - three hours dead on I took her up for a sleep, she was awake but she actually went off. It balls up a few times but I stuck at it. It was the baby sleep wisperer.

Dd has a long stare which I noticed from the book that's her very first sleep cue .

Good luck!!

I banned all visitors too ha ha looked a bloody state for a week !!