To hope the builders next door all fall into the basement extension they are building

[partyskirt]

It is so loud, and then on their lunch break (i.e. the only quite time) they come and stand in front of our front door / window and scream down their mobile phones and at each other.

I hate every. single. one. of. them.

YABU. Clearly. But building work is pretty grating.

Why are the standing at your front door?
Can you tell them to move?

Feels you pain but don't kill them, it'll take the remaining ones even longer.

Go and make them some nice hot

You can't blame the builders unless they're being tits and deliberately standing close to your property intent on annoying you.

Building work is an arse when it's you as the neighbour who has to put up with it.

The building work stops for like an hour, and for that whole hour I have to listen to fat blokes yelling at the top of their voices about horrible topics (court cases etc.).

I have told them but they don't stop. I hate them!

Only on Mumsnet would you be told to make a cup of tea for someone else's builders

Play radio 4 really loud at them.

Can our builders in the flat downstairs also fall into the hole?

The buggers start crashing well before 8 - I know this for a fact because I have got into the lift with them trotting off for their tea break when I leave at 7.30am and they drill all day. I have no idea what they are drilling but drill they do.

Sadly our 2 sets of lovely neighbours each side have moved out and the flats have been sold to developers. So soon I will have it in stereo, or trerio.

Ugh Nicename!

Please tell me they haven't asked to use your toilet

No, they have full run of next door's house, who have moved out.

Just go outside, pick one of them and just stand right in their personal space without actually touching them. And if they move just move with them. Until they've moved far enough away from your property that you're happy. Then go back inside. If they come back just repeat the process as many times as you need to. Or i'll come and do it if you like. Free as a bird this pm. Happy to help.

I worry they'd try and kiss me if I did that!

Hahaha! Backfires!

Very loud music. Pick a genre a day; classical; jazz; D&B. See which sends them furthest away. You could think of it as science.

YY to loud music/radio, hopefully a marmite kind that you love and some of them will hate. NN to making them tea! That will not make anything better, it will just make you their tea stop instead of a local cafe!

I returned home yesterday to shouts of "alright love" and a from our neighbours builder just before he fell into the hole he'd just dug

Don't worry all you caring types he wasn't hurt, but it gave me a giggle.

Seriously, why are they standing at your front door? Are they in your garden? Tell them to move on. Or play Classic FM loudly.

Hmmm, you need to borrow the 5yo whos DGP gifted them a violin - I'm sure the parent(s) wouldn't mind and the resultant 'practice' might encourage them to move...

Can you speak to the project manager?

wanttosqueeze that is very funny!

Yep, Max Bygraves loud as you like on the gramophone should do it - like The Goodies 40 years ago when they were trying to get all the fish out of a lake

Make them a bacon butty.

Should keep them quiet for a while.

Yeah bit of Chopin never hurt no one.

Super soaker followed by an innocent face?