to not want new pictures up on my walls with no discussion?

[iamamug]

My DH enjoys photography and is very good at it. He travels abroad to interesting countries and takes wonderful pictures that he turns into photo books that are lovely to look at. However, he occasionally gets several pictures put on canvas and then randomly puts them up around the house.

We have never agreed on decor and our decoration is all about compromise.

If it was up to him everything would be very bright garish colours.
I prefer muted tones, we meet somewhere in the middle.

Now I feel I have offended him because a new batch of pictures has arrived and been put up while I was out. (On landing, bathroom etc..)

I have admired one picture and told him I don't like another one.

I have asked that we discuss any plans to put large canvasses on the wall in the future and he has gone off to his office in a huff.

I haven't insulted the pictures, they're very good.
But AIBU not wanting them on my walls without being consulted????

Absolutely.

It has to be a joint decision. Has to be.

Take it down. Take them all down, actually, and tell him you want to think about where you're willing for them to go. Make the point.

How would he feel if you did the same? Decided you loved a dreary brown print of two kittens sitting in a trug and insisted it went up in prominent spot?

Would you consult him, if it was the other way round?

I stick up, take down and rearrange pictures and household bits, without consulting DH. He's really not bothered.

If you are, and I would be, you need a general consultation when he gets back.

I'm sure you can find a compromise on the hanging place for the one you like less.

YANBU, if he wants to display some of his work then he should have asked you first to look through the photos together and decide which to have printed.

This would drive me crackers. DH and I have very different views on art and decor sometimes. I also cringe when anyone buys us pictures/prints. My mum has done this several times and I've had to re-gift / donate or just hide in the loft as they are just not to our taste.

I know I'm not BU but he is such a blinkin' sulker and his ego is so fragile - I've nursed it for over 21 years and sometimes I just run out of patience!

When the tastes of 2 people are so different it is difficult to reach some sort of compromise. The reason we are still married is because I am actually very tolerant and don't sweat the small stuff, but I do care about my home and he gets away with bloody murder.

He's gone to his office in the house to sulk where he will listen to what I have said and I think the bathroom one that offends me will come down.
I like the other one but it does not go with the bright colour he wanted the walls painted!
I can live with it as it's on the upstairs landing.

Blinded by love I did not realise 20 odd years ago I was marrying someone who is clearly colour blind!

I also have to say that he is otherwise a very nice husband..

Oops. I bung things up randomly round the house without asking anyone (and sometimes they equally randomly fall off or hang drunkenly from one corner for weeks before any of us notice).

Will consult other occupants next time. Or at least quiz them blindfold on whether they have any idea which pictures are where.

Agreed. Before meeting me dh bought two charmless boring as fuck abstract prints (Peter Wileman I think) for the living room. I'm so ashamed of them and always make sure visitors know they are nothing to do with me.

Wow, people's lives are complicated! If he wants to put a picture up on the wall of his house, why shouldn't he? In the same way that you can put up a picture on the wall of your house..........

Assuming, of course that they aren't 8 foot square nudes, or something.........

Great concept Hakluyt if your tastes are similar.
They're not 8 foot square nudes but there are many canvases around the house that are very large.
Once they have been printed it's a bit difficult for me to say no.

Trust me, I am extremely accommodating.
Him - not so much.

He has a selfish streak and I do enable him because I won't argue about something trivial.

I am particularly against the picture in the bathroom because it's a bit seedy.
Latin American country, pavement shot of chap pinching girlfriend's bum.
Most other pictures are beautiful landscapes or family pictures of children/pets.

I find the bathroom one distasteful. Sorry.

He's got an office?

That is a solution BTW.

Haha Mrs TP - would be ideal but 'tis little more than a cupboard - no room in there!

I get round this by giving DP pics which I like. And painted the room I'd decided was my office, in v bright colours which he hated.

I don't really like the pics he's put up but he does live here too.

I'd quite like an 8 foot square nude, tbh. Tasteful and Art, of course. A black and white print nude. I buy a lot of black and white prints for DP's birthday and Christmas presents.

Damn I thought I was being clever.

YANBU! My DH does stuff like this now and then. Mostly he's not bothered but sometimes he tries to assert himself. He once hung a fucking GUITAR on my wall. It wasn't a nice one either. It could look good in some houses I'm sure but not in ours!

My DH had 2 god awful, bleak & depressing arty landscape prints by a respected photographer that wasn't quite to my taste. Sadly when we moved a few years ago they accidentally got damaged forever grateful to the removers who helped me in repeatedly dropping downstairs

It's not just me then!
Bless him - he has done exactly what I thought he would.
Just come down for a cup of tea and I said I hadn't wanted to offend him but I don't want to look at a sleazy picture while I'm on the loo.

He has agreed to put that one in his office - it will fit - thanks Mrs TP!

I then tried to discuss the muting down of the colour of the walls on the hall, stairs and landing.
That one will run and run so I will give up ....for now!

Thanks for confirming that I wasn't being a controlling cow.

Well if he can put up sh-art while you are out , can you not paint a wall in his absence ?

If he puts up any more that you can't live with, put price-tags on them, so it looks as though he's exhibiting for sale. Don't forget to put a red dot on the ones you do like.

I love that idea blanklook

oh dedar me -such a vital and important matter which must affect every aspect of married life..........discuss the colour of carrots next

My DH used to do something similar but with iron work he had 'created'. He's a blacksmith. It drove me fucking nuts! We now have a comprimise, nothing goes on the walls unless we both agree. Unfortunately, I never had the foresight to extend this to what goes up outside the house. I now have a fence made of horseshoes as well as other hand crafted delights

Abilly, do you not think art is important? Or the decoration of your own home?