to think the sodding school should replace the sodding PE kit

[dontknowwhatnametopick]

My DS started school in the summer and parents were asked to supply a PE kit in the first week. In the registration days we were also told that the PE kit would stay in school to save kids forgetting to bring them PE days etc etc.

Got a post it note in DS's book bag 2/3 weeks ago saying that he had no trainers in his PE bag, I spoke to teacher and pointed out that they must be somewhere as my DS has not brought them home, teacher said she would check again and if she didnt come across them she would let me know. Time passed I forgot about it until DS pipes up last night that he has NO PE kit at all, its all gone!

I have a number of mums from the school on my twitter so had kindly tweeted them to ask them to check their kids bags to see if they had mistakeingly took my DS's things, now the school he attends have their own twitter account to remind us of dates etc, well my DS's teacher runs this account so I get a private message from her saying "I told you a number of weeks ago that DS has no trainers and I know nothing about the PE kit as I dont take the class for PE, if its important please come into school and check for yourself"

Now I know the tweets I had send would have been seen by her as we all follow the school, I reminded her of the convo we had about the trainers and I had pointed out that unless the full PE kit had grew legs and took themselves out of school then they must be there!! She kept saying I dont take PE so I dont know and its maybe best if I just replace the whole PE kit.

Now AIBU to think that she should sod the sodding hell off, stop sending me private messages and that the school should take some sodding responsibilty?!

I used to be a Parent Governor of my children's Primary School and this sounds right up their street! Clearly the school needs to record the deposit of the full PE kit so there can be no suggestion that you did not in fact provide it! Theft - and of course genuine mix ups - will occur and the school needs to work out their policy in consultation with parents. Should property be stolen or hidden as a form of bullying this too falls under the school's remit. going through the Parent Governors gives them a role and you access to the decision-making process. Good Luck!

What sort of PE do they do that they don't get dirty?

I think they need to sort out their security a lot better if they're going to insist the PE kit is kept at school. We had PE bags on hangers at our secondary school, with wire baskets underneath for our boots (lacrosse) - PE kit went home when it needed washing, otherwise it stayed at school, but the boots stayed at school. Except that one of my boots went missing too - never found it, no idea why only one went! I checked Lost Property, checked around the cloakroom, no clue. But I was 13 or 14 at the time, well able to do this myself - your DS isn't remotely old enough to do that, a teacher should bloody well help him!

It does annoy me though when uniform of any kind goes missing - DS1 lost his school sweatshirt last year, despite it being labelled, and secondhand (so a little faded) - no idea who has it, it didn't make it to Lost Property (although plenty others did!), no one could offer any insight into what could have happened to it so we can only assume someone nicked it, because otherwise someone would have returned it to school because it had DS1's NAME in it.

I thought PE kit staying in school at primary (which this sounds like) is common practice.

Round here it is anyway - I'd say 80%+ leave it there for the half term and most of the rest bring it home at weekends.

We haven't been asked or told to do that - just feels like the right thing to do. Primary school PE kit hardly gets dirty it certainly doesn't need washing weekly IMO. It just stays on DCs peg so no 'secure option' needed.
things get mislaid occasionally I guess but turn up in lost property, often without parents even knowing it was missing because it was "found out" 2 days later at the next PE session and child was sent to look under teachers desk/search cliakroom/lost property at the time problem sorted. Parents not involved unless child remembers to tell them.

The teachers attitude and behaviour

Teachers attitude and behaviour on twitter slightly questionable tho...

Sorry, didn't answer your AIBU! YANBU to think that they should have taken better care that your DS didn't lose his PE kit, but I don't honestly think you can expect them to pay for a new one (nice though that would be)

Twitter is odd and teacher sounds annoying.

However, from a teacher's point of view (disclaimer - this is how it works in my school, may not be the same here!!), the kit should be the child's responsibility - they are taught how to put it all away in the right place and parents are asked to name all items. When these both happen, kit almost never gets lost. It is the numerous identical plain white Ts with no name that end up in lost property or being taken home accidentally by someone else with an identical un-named white T.

It isn't possible for a teacher with 30 children and a v limited amount of time either side of a PE lesson to monitor this although I know how frustrating it must be for things to go missing.

In my school though, if things do go missing and the parent comes to ask us, we personally search cloakrooms, lost property etc at the end of the day, ask all the children to check their own kits and, as a last resort, send a text out to all parents asking them to check. But beyond that, it isn't the school's responsibility.

At the end of term, we always find the odd plimsoll etc that has made its way under the cloakroom benches or behind the bookcase! Can you nip in and help with a really good search?

When I was at school we had to leave the kit in school - god knows why it was gross by the end of term. We had to have our names embroidered in house colours, mine was orange, on the outside of every piece of kit so the teachers could instantly see if you had 'borrowed' from someone else. Looked hideous and my mum hated it but no missing kit!

Lost P.E kit is a hazard of school life, no easy answers really for that one.
However the teachers use of social media to private message parents is not okay. While I wouldn't be using twitter for this your message to ask other parents to check to see if any of your DC kit had ended up with them was very reasonable, her defensive reaction to you was not.
I would point out to the teacher that twitter is not a method that should be used for home school communications. If the response from her is to continue to be so defensive or continue to use social media in this way I would take the issue up with the head (or head of year/key stage is that is the next step up in management).

I'm mostly stuck here on the no washing thing. Amazing message for the school to be sending kids - do sporting activities and then don't wash the clothes you do it in. Ew. I would make my DC bring it home for washing every week. Not the trainers obvs.

The Twitter thing is odd and annoying, but you really should check the lost property - DD1 "lost" her clearly marked bookbag in school recently - her name and class number were written clearly on it, yet whoever found it (SURELY IN HER CLASSROOM) saw fit to put it in lost property on the other side of the damn school. FFS.

surely the (very good) message they are sending is that if clothes aren't actually dirty (and indoor PE, 30 mins twice a week for 4/5 year olds, I just can't see how they are dirty) don't waste water and energy doing unnecessary washing! Frankly, the more anyone learns that so much of our laundry doesn't actually need washing, the better.

Is this like the "babies don't need washing every day" thing? I guess it depends on what you consider necessary. I consider it necessary to wash clothes after exercising in them, but I'm not the washing police so others can do what they like

If your DC is in Reception then I firmly believe that it is the school's responsibility to make sure that kit is put away in correct bags and hung on correct pegs until children have learned the habit of doing it properly.

It's only been half a term (not even that wrt the trainers) so I think they need to start sorting out systems.

It's a pain but it needs to be done. Just requires constant nagging

Infant school children aren't exerting themselves any more than usual in PE (unless 'usual' is sitting down all day) - it's not like when an adult goes to the gym, or an older child plays rugby.

Unwitting I'm the same. I'm so surprised that there are schools where the PE kit is left there. As for the idea that kits don't get dirty because PE is inside then I must have an unusually dirty DC because his PE shorts regularly come home with dirty/dusty streaks on the bottom. I guess he spends time falling over or sliding on the not-particularly clean gym hall floor.

How old is OP's DC - sounds like reception or year 1 from the opening post.

YABU to expect school to replace the kit. My disorganised DS has lost countless PE items over his years at primary school. I have spent many fruitless hours looking for them. They go to the same place that odd socks go to and sometimes turn up months/ even years later. Part of going to school is about learning to be responsible for your own stuff. Teachers are meant to be teaching - not looking for kit. The best remedy is a) buy cheap stuff, b) label it and c) try to encourage your DC to look after it.

I can't see the problem with a teacher sending a private message on twitter - if others can't see it its just the same as sending an email

The thing about leaving it there all term - totally agree. Half a term = 7 - 10 hours of PE, mostly pretty low level of activity. You wouldn't wash your child's clothes every hour during the day.

All primary schools I have worked in and when I attended primary school, pe kits stayed in school and came home in the holidays for a wash, so perfectly normal. OP, I would try to speak to the pe teacher and ask what has happened and ask for all pe bags to be gone through. I assume all clothes were labelled with your child's name? If so, it will probably be a case of disorganised changing and his pe stuff has been put in the wrong bag. If it is not labelled, then that maybe harder to trace.

Hmm. Given the number of threads on here about "why won't my teen shower" I think there's some merit in teaching kids early about some habits they'll need later. But I see the point.

Can you ask the school about their insurance policy? How do you make a claim for something missing on their premises? What have they done to find the kit? Copies of the letters they have sent about the missing kit? Etc etc. Make a paper trail (e-mail) and make it official. Cc the Head on everything. They will find it!

How old is the child? It is standard practise in lots of schools to leave pe kits there and take home to be washed at each holiday.

As a teacher myself I can see why the teacher is annoyed. You are asking her about something she knows nothing about. She is not responsible if she does not teach the lesson. I would find out who teaches that lesson and ask them .

Depending on the age of the child I think as a teacher myself they need to be responsible for their own kit. The school cannot be expected to replace every kit that goes missing. Children constantly loose things, can you imagine the cost to the school if they replaced things each time they got lost!

Depending on the age of the child I think it is UR for the teacher to be expected to keep track of 30 childrens p.e kits! They are probably extremely busy and it is just not possible to expect this.

I would ask the teacher who actually teaches pe to get the children to check if they have any of your child's pe kit by mistake and then would just replace it cheaply with no fuss.

It does sound like the teacher has been a bit of an arse about it but it could just be that her words have been misinterpreted on twitter. Had she said it verbally it might have not come across so arsey.

PE kits and uniforms do go missing from time to time, it's a pain but it's just one of those things. I'm guessing your DS is quite young?

If it was me I'd go in to school and have a look for it myself, get the office to check lost property and ask the teacher to ask parents to check their kid's bags.

If that fails I'd just replace it. Even though school have suggested PE kits stay in school there's no reason why you can't take it home every week on their PE day, that way if something goes missing you'll know about it the same day and then there's more chance of finding it.

YANBU. I hate this kind of attitude. The kit is probably in the lost property but no-one can be arsed to reunite children with their clearly named kit. Of course you don't have to supply any kind of uniform if you don't want to. Primary school PE doesn't really warrant "kit" anyway.

Just to answer some questions, my DS is 4 will be 5 in December, he is in primary 1 (reception), they do 30/45 mins PE once a week. The kit stays in school until end of term then its sent home to wash. I have been told that so far they have not had to use shorts yet so cant get it into my head how its been lost in the first place.

I phoned the school to speak to deputy head and she said she would look into it as I have already checked cloakroom and lost property. Surprise surprise 10 mins I get a tweet to say the vanishing kit has been located but wont tell me where they found it!

This school needs a better social media policy. Why are they tweeting you the answer?

A closed Facebook group may be better than tweets for parents to contact each other.