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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that granparents giving a five year old a violin is an act of cruelty to the parents!

51 replies

ReallyTired · 22/10/2014 21:18

After two years of pestering I have agreed that dd can have violin lessons. I am now wondering what on earth I have agreed to. My parents gave dd a violin and she is desperate to play the dratted thing. I am dreading the violin practice. I have decided that if she must attempt to play the violin that she might as well have lessons.

How long will it take a five year old to sound reasonable on the violin.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 22/10/2014 21:19

HAHAHAHAHAHA . . .

Lambstales · 22/10/2014 21:21

I can recommend bio ears. Grin

Could be worse....bagpipes?

naturalbaby · 22/10/2014 21:22

I grew up with a sibling who played the violin. Ds was steered towards the cello when he showed an interest!

Panzee · 22/10/2014 21:22

Oh you must have been a difficult child! Now they're seeking revenge. :o

SantanaLopez · 22/10/2014 21:22

LMAO

Meglet · 22/10/2014 21:22

I had to gently let DS down when he wanted to learn to play the violin. The thought of squealy screeching noises in our tiny house would have tipped me over the edge.

browneyedgirl86 · 22/10/2014 21:23

You poor thing.

It took me about 6 months. But I started at 7 and I had played the piano already so maybe that helped? It's hard but if she enjoys it when she gets better it won't be so bad!

beccajoh · 22/10/2014 21:26

Depends if your child has a musical ear or not. If they do they'll learn to play it fairly tunefully pretty quickly, but if the don't you'll be listening to a strangled cat sound for as long as you care to let them play.

whitsernam · 22/10/2014 21:28

If you find a good teacher, your child should never sound scratchy. Plus some children really do learn quickly and you'll enjoy watching them learn. Look into Suzuki teaching - he got thousands of very young children to sound very good.

StillSquirrelling · 22/10/2014 21:30

My DD1 (6) has just started learning to play. The noise doesn't bother me at all to be honest. DD2 (5) also wants to play but I've told her she has to wait until YR2 before she's allowed to learn an instrument. She's said she's going to ask Father Christmas to bring her a violin - I've informed her that he's not allowed to over rule parents!
It's my poor hubby I feel sorry for - what with DD1 on the violin every night, me on my recorder (found it in the loft recently and have been reteaching myself the basics via YouTube), his ears are getting a real battering!
Oddly, my cat seems to really like me playing the recorder and sticks her face right up close to the bottom of it so I blow musical air into her nose! Very strange!!

SanityClause · 22/10/2014 21:31

It's fine.

DD2 started at 3 and DS at 5.

We now also have a bassoon and a French horn in the family, as well as a baby grand (that no one plays, but DH won't let me sell - grrrr!).

Get in a routine for practise. If you can do it in the morning, they are less tired, but it might not fit in with your morning routine. If they do it at the same time every day, they won't forget as easily.

Andrewofgg · 22/10/2014 21:45

We now also have a bassoon and a French horn in the family, as well as a baby grand

And some of us worry about posters who think pets are part of the family!

claraschu · 22/10/2014 21:57

With a good teacher she will never sound horrible. This is a fine age to start, but it would be great if you can help her to practise. Listening to at least part of her lesson would make this easier for you if you don't play already. There should never be any screeching.

If you are really against her playing, she will be unlikely to learn very much at this age, and will probably give up pretty fast, which is kind of sad.

Original poster
ReallyTired · 22/10/2014 21:59

"If you are really against her playing, she will be unlikely to learn very much at this age, and will probably give up pretty fast, which is kind of sad."

I am not against her playing. I simply don't have the skills to teach her how to play nicely hence I am paying £132 a term to have lessons from a good teacher. Surely its better for her to be shown how to hold the bow and violin than to make a terrible noise by trying to teach herself.

OP posts:
AlmaMartyr · 22/10/2014 22:07

My parents recently bought 6yo DD a violin. It's actually not as bad as I feared. So far she's been following some YouTube lessons and had some instruction from ny Dad. Sounds OK, better than the recorder she had previously.

Noteventhebestdrummer · 22/10/2014 22:16

My small students always sound good even with crappy instruments because I emphasise tone and technique as much as training parents in how to make practice fun (dusts halo)

Eva50 · 22/10/2014 22:43

Ds1 (19) plays and has never sounded scratchy. Ds2 (17) also plays. It took him a little longer to get it! Ds3 is a pianist Wink

Me624 · 22/10/2014 23:08

I'm a violinist. I started at 6 and to be quite honest I think it was a good four years or so before I started sounding bearable? Even now (more than 20 years of experience!) I sometimes think I sound pretty horrible when practising a difficult bit.

missymayhemsmum · 22/10/2014 23:23

Wow! a five year old who wants to play the violin!
I'm afraid 'I really enjoy listening to your violin practice' is one of the few lies it is necessary to tell your children. Find a nice teacher and encourage her lots. The more she practices the quicker she will get through the screechy stage and on to making a nice sound. Build practice into the regular routine, and be really positive. DD's school teaches all the reception and yr 1 classes violin and cello. 15 small violinists in a room!

maninawomansworld · 22/10/2014 23:23

I am actually a fairly tolerant person (anyone familiar with my posts may not believe me as I can be quite firm and to the point - but I promise I am quite accepting of kids annoying hobbies / interests).
However, kids learning musical instruments is the single worst thing I can think of!
I have a barn I don't currently use much and the plan when our DC's are a bit older is to convert it into a kids pad. It's only 50 yards from the house but all their awful pop music, recorders, violins or whatever other ghastly nonsense they come up with can live out there and will categorically never be allowed anywhere near the house.

At least the violin isn't as bad as the recorder! If I could de-invent any musical instrument the recorder would be it.

NetballHoop · 22/10/2014 23:29

I think it's lovely that the Grandparents have shown such an interest in your DD's music.

I also think that it would be rude of you not to make sure that she practices at their house so they can see how well she's doing.

ScreamEggsAndHam · 22/10/2014 23:37

My MIL wanted to buy drums at one point. With two very close proximity neighbours that got met with a flat out NO.
I feel your pain. Grin
although I'm sure I'd have felt it even more if she'd have gone ahead and bought one of the blasted things

claraschu · 23/10/2014 06:32

You are absolutely right to get her a teacher. My point is that, even with a good teacher, it is very hard for a 5 year old to practise effectively. Learning an instrument is hard and is also one of the most wonderful things in the world, I think. If you are interested in your daughter's project, you should go to her lessons (at least for 5 minutes at the end) and if her teacher is good, he/she will tell you how to help your daughter to learn. You just need to be interested and to see this as a fun and worthwhile thing to do. At her age, your daughter probably can't learn much without your support.

I'm really sorry to be so serious. I know your thread was a jokey one about how awful beginning violin is. I just think your daughter wants to do something wonderful, inspiring, difficult and profoundly rewarding. Maybe I am being inappropriate in taking your lighthearted teasing too seriously-

Honeezreturn · 23/10/2014 07:12

My DD played the Double Bass. O M F G what a noise! It was actually ear torture Grin
AND we had to get an estate car to carry the thing about in!
The school offered her that or a harpHmm I think they hated us

kelper · 23/10/2014 07:28

Ds wants to learn the drums Shock
Fortunately we have an amazing music school near us, so he'll be going there Wink
I really want to learn the flute but I am the most unmusical person in the world (and flutes are very expensive!!)

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