Really stuck for options. Help!

[AnniDollxox]

Right so 5 years ago, when my DD was born I was homeless, we got temporary accommodation that was ok for what we needed. We eventually got threatened in to taking a top floor flat above a nightclub which we have stayed in for the past 5 years. It's been awful , drunks peeing in the hallway, I got beaten up in my own home in front of DD by someone I had never met, a homeless man who was high on meth pooed outside our door, our neighbours were less than desirable, drugs raids, leaking roofs, broken washing machine and to top the disasters off a storage heater (filled with cement blocks) fell on to DD leg and I couldn't lift it off because I wasn't strong enough so I ha to pull her out while wedging towels in to it. The landlord did nothing about any of these things told me to basically put up with it an shut up!
In May this year me and DB found out we were having another baby, very bad timing and bad place to have a baby but I couldn't get an abortion as I was told I would never conceive after DD so we started looking for somewhere else to stay. We had debts but were getting help from an organisation with bankrupcy, mostly because of rent arrears over time.
Our landlord wanted us evicted so we agreed with them that we could stay until after the baby was born in to the new year for various reason which they agreed to of we payed some rent (which we did) so in September you could imagine my shock when a sherif officer showed up at my door and told me we had 2 weeks to move out of the property.
We went to the council and presented as homeless and got offered a b&b 60 miles from our original house, DDs school and DBS work, for £2000 a month, housing benefit could give us £55 a week and we would have to pay the rest. DB is an apprentice mechanic earning around £190 a week, my benefits got canceled because we had to make a joint claim and now have to wait for it to be processed. So £190 a week is £760 a month plus £55 a week housing benefit is £980 only, where the hell were we meant to find the other £1020 from? Let alone the money to get DD to school, DB to work and feed ourselves?
But that isn't the worst part, we were found intentionally homeless by the council even though we had been declared bankrupt and now had nowhere to live, the council also never told me they made this decision and when they did send a letter they sent it to the house I had just been evicted from.... We appealed the decision and are waiting to see what they say but I am unsure of what to do next. We are all sleeping in a bedroom together at my parents house. I am loosing the plot being in such close confinement with so many people! DB and me are arguing more and more! DD and me can't seem to get on either and I don't wanna fall out with my parents because they have been so kind to us, I honestly don't know what I would do without them!

Someone hopefully will get back to me with some advice

Wow! Mrs Cumbersnatch I think that is one of the most harsh and least helpful responses I have ever read on mumsnet!

The OP is 6 weeks away from giving birth, she has a small child and nowhere to live but because others are also in this situation, she needs to get a reality check??! I'm actually gobsmacked.

OP I have no real words of advice for you, I am so lucky never to have been in your situation so I don't know how these things work but you certainly have my sympathy. You must be scared for your future and panicking a lot at the moment , which is no good for your or your baby's health. How supportive are your parents? Is staying with them long term a possibility, at least until your baby is born and you're able to recover from that? I think I would be going down to the council offices and not moving until someone sorted something out for me. I can't believe that moving 90 miles away from your DP's place of work is considered a viable option. Who could afford a 180 mile round trip commute to work? Both financially and time wise? Also asking you to live apart from your DP when you have a baby on the way is not an acceptable option. Maybe I've lead a sheltered life but I'm actually shocked that people are being forced to live like this in 2014.

I wish you well OP, I'm sorry that you're in this situation and I hope someone more knowledgeable than me will be along soon to help you get sorted out. Good luck - I hope everything works out for you.

If you're going to quote me, I actually said it was one of the least helpful responses I'd ever read, not the most unhelpful but there you go. Forgive me for thinking that telling someone who is obviously upset and desperate that they need a reality check because they're not the only one in this situation is a little unhelpful. There are very few situations on here that are totally unique, if all were met with that response, there'd be no point in asking for advice in the first place.

You say you sympathise with the OP, the post I referred to did not show any sign of that. But you are correct, my post wasn't in any way practically helpful to the OP but people come on to these boards for support, not to be made to feel that they should shut up and put up with their lot because they find themselves in a situation faced by many others.

OP I hope you're ok today and that you're able to find the support you need for you and your family.

Annidoll, can you and the kids stay at your parents while DB stays in a cheap bedsit/house share nearby? Not ideal I know but it's a roof over your head for the time being.

From what you've said you were evicted for rent arrears (the landlord is a shit for agreeing a payment plan and then changing his mind, but ultimately you do owe him the money and it's not like credit cards etc where they have to accept a payment plan if that's all you can afford), which is why they have classed you as intentionally homeless. Plus if you have a room at your parents you may be considered less of a priority - you might need your parents to officially say you can't live there as a pp said to jump up the queue, it depends on the housing criteria.

What I would not advice under any circumstances is taking the offer of a B and B 60 miles away for £2000 per month. There must be cheaper private rentals for less than that nearer by, especially if DB is working? Have you tried the local housing associations?

The problem is the B&B the OP was offered was the councils emergency accomodation, it's the same in my county (but far more expensive) as there are no hostels anymore, and the OP turned it down and moved in with parents instead.

It is difficult and hard, I know as I've been in this situation, but the council requirement legally for housing is anywhere in the county. The reasons for turning it down in my county are really really strict (example must be near a hospital or you will die) - distance and cost are not good enough reasons. If you can't pay you are expected to go into arrears,

Being bankrupt won't effect whether they class as intentionally homeless, but not paying rent will as will turning down council accommodation.

Parents asking them to leave wouldn't be enough, councils usually suggest mediation (unless it's a violent situation) and anyone OP spoke to would say do more to find private suitable accommodation. Unfortunately once you say no to council accommodation you find yourself really struggling to be allowed any again and is likely why shelter and CAB won't get involved as an offer was made and refused so is now classed as intentionally in this situation. The only thing she can realistically do now is try and find a private rental. I know it's difficult but that's the only realistic option now.

What were you going to do after you gave birth OP? Obviously you knew you were leaving then, is there any reason you can't put that into practice now?

I hope I don't sound harsh, I don't mean to, I'm just offering some explanation. I really do understand your situation is difficult. Hope you get it sorted.

Sorry that was so long

I do feel for you, but you're not really stuck for options I don't think. You, your dd and your newborn can live anywhere, so it's perfectly feasibly and actually sensible to live in a much cheaper area. You don't have to pay £2k a month rent. And, sorry, no I don't think it's too much to ask you to move. Good luck with what you decide.