Would you take offence at the things this friend says?

[cheeseandfickle]

My friend is always quite critical of me. She can't say anything nice about me, it seems. Everything is, as she puts it, constructive criticism. It's generally unasked-for, and is about everything from the clubs my children do after school, to the clothes that I wear,

By contrast, she always has nice, gushy things to say about mutual friends, and is always talking about how cute their children are, how nice our mutual friends look, how nice their houses are, and all kinds of other things.

We went shopping together yesterday and whenever I looked at any items of clothing she said things like 'Oh no, you couldn't get away with that', or 'Hmmm, that's not very you. Now Sarah (mutual friend) could pull that off, but then she has the looks and height for that kind of thing".

I have also recently lost a couple of stone in weight, and when I reached my target weight and told my friend she laughed loudly and said she thought I was nowhere near my target weight yet!

Each time I've said to her that her comments are rude, or have showed any kind of displeasure at what she has said, she accuses me of being oversensitive and hard work.

Am I being oversensitive? I thought friends were meant to make you feel better about yourself, not worse?!

She sounds horrible.

Good friends don't give constructive criticism by comparing you unfavourably to others. A nice person would try and steer you away from a fashion disaster by suggesting something that would suit you better, not putting you down.

Is she a catwalk model with immaculately turned out, supremely well-behaved children herself?

She sounds hard work, not you.

What exactly do you get out of this "friendship"?
Don't be a mug and bin her off.

She's a jealous oxygen thief.

If she has any redeeming features you have to play hardball with her and when she says something upsetting laugh in her face and tell her something cutting.

With friends like you it's lucky I don't have any enemies
You're lucky I like you because anyone else would kick your arse
Or the classic stare and head tilt combo accompanied by 'Did you mean to be SO rude?'

The problem is that if you're a considerate and mild mannered person you hold back, but this 'frenemy' sounds as though she has a thick enough skin to play her at her own game.

If she has no redeeming features then dump her and feel better for it.

declutter this woman at once

life is waaaaaaay too short honey!

I'm more concerned you think you might be over sensitive. This woman for whatever reasons is using you to feel better about herself.

Drop her

Honestly. I am glad for you that you recognise this behaviour from her. Ridiculous that she is criticising and en saying you are too sensitive. She knows exactly what she's doing.

I had to lose a long term frenemy over similar comments. When I lost weight 'you are obsessed with points', when I bought things 'oh you're good to yourself aren't you' (spitefully said) when I got engaged 'oh you laid down the law to him' nasty nasty.

I'd be pretty blunt and tell her to fuck the fuck off. She sounds vile.

Frankly I would tell her to go fuck herself and then never speak to her again. Why on earth are you continuing to spend time with this vile, nasty woman?

She sounds like a horrible person OP. Do you think she gushes over your friend when she's with her or acts the same and makes your friend feel shitty?

To me, it sounds like maybe she wants to make you feel like shit and lower your self-esteem but also make you resent your other friend and turn away from her.

Just Run !

YANBU! Run, run for the hills!

She's not even being nice about the other people she's talking about, by the way. She's just using them as a way of making you feel even worse. I bet her next friend will be told how fantastic/beautiful/capable you are in a similarly undermining manner.

christ, TRIM THE BITCH!!!!

I think you have become blinded

Ditto everything else that's been said. Friends are people in your life you make your life more fun and make you feel happy. She's not filling that criteria. In fact, seems to be doing the opposite. Girls bet she's jealous of your weight loss so feels the need to put you down.