To tell ds (5) how babies are made?

[Lovedmywildway]

They are doing the topic 'ourselves' at school which has caused ds to ask lots of questions about how babies are made. He had a vague idea anyway but I've told him the truth when he's outright asked me. I don't think it's anything to be embarassed about and I want him to be open about things like this so that he doesn't think it's something that can't be discussed. I've glossed over the actual sex part and he hasn't pushed me for details. I've told him that two people who love each other decide to have a baby. The daddy has a penis with a seed called a sperm and the mommy has an egg called an ova. The seed goes into the egg and the baby grows in the Mommy's womb.

However apparently because of the topic apparently the children have been discussing amongst themselves how babies are made. They've even had a baby come into class so it's not surprising.
Ds told me that one little girl said she knew how babies were made - the daddy just gives the mommy a special hug.
Ds told her that wasn't right and proceeded to enlighten her.

Mother of little girl caught me on playground and asked if I knew what ds had been saying. She didnt think it was appropriate. I don't think ds has been going round telling everyone, I think it's just because they were talking about it and he just shared what he knew. Much like he would about any other topic. He's not showy offy or anything, he doesn't see it as being different from anything else he knows. They are year 1 by the way, but reception.

Anyway, Aibu to tell ds the truth about how babies are made? I want him to feel like it's natural and normal (which it is) and to respect women and their choices when he's older.

I am still boggling at the school age child genuinely thinking that the dog was his sister.

my 8 year old ds knows about periods and sex. I also have a dd who is 11 and when I discuss things with her ds tends to be there too. She is going through the start of puberty so I dont want her to be unaware of what is happening/is going to happen to her body.

I would definitely not tell another person's 5 year old about a 'special baby making hole' - it sounds ridiculous for a start.

We went into some detail at maybmathe maybe three to explain why children are a bit like daddy and a bit like mummy. I got pg with dc3 when dc1 was in Reception so his questions led to more details then.

A friend of mine is horrified about this and thinks I've ruined him. This came to light when the children were taught anatomical terms iinY1 as part of PHSE. I shrugged: her daughter does street dance and sings Top 40 hits I don't think appropriate for infants.

I did slightly bring her round with the idea that a child who knows what sex is can better understand what appropriate contact from adults looks like, in the event of inappropriate contact.

Oh. Our sex ed mostly starts with Willies Have Two Jobs and Women Have Three Holes. That's about 90% of the information they need.

I can still vividly remember being 7 in the playground and a boy asking my friend and I if we knew how babies were made.

I wasn't expecting the answer of ''the man puts his d up the woman's f*''.

YANBU, kids hear all manner of things from each other which parents can't control.

leedy - my 5yo son recently asked me if my sister's dog was born when DS was little, or if it was still in Auntie X's tummy

I will be worried if he hasn't got things straight when he's 10 though.

MrsHathaway - I like that reduction - think I shall steal it.

I learnt all my facts from the playground too, I was the kid everyone laughed at as I didn't know what penis meant. I remember my mum being embarassed and awkward when I'd asked what a condom was, I'd found an unused (please don't correct me, I touched the damn thing) one in the street and picked it up, much to the merry laughs of the older kids and chanting, so so touched a condom. My mum asked me I thought a condom was, and when it looked a balloon she just brushed me off saying I was correct. I knew she was bullshitting though and I looked in a dictionary. My mum is lovely and brilliant and I love her like crazy but I do wish that she'd gulped down her embarrassment and just told me as I felt like I could never go talk to her about that stuff as I didn't want to make her awkward. It's a shame as we were very close but there was always that little barrier that stopped me going to her with relationship problems etc for fear of making her feel uncomfortable, which in turn made me think I was weird for having the questions.

I think part of the reason I'm so honest with my dd is I'd think I'd failed her if she couldn't come and ask me stuff. I don't feel failed by my mum though.

MinionDave A girl I was friends with started her periods when she was 9. 8 definitely isn't too young to know.

I learned all the facts of life from a book that my mum had bought my older sister. I found the book absolutely fascinating and used to read it all the time.

5yo DS has a book about the human body which he loves and we read it endlessly. It's aimed at children but not too childish in the way it gives the facts. I'm looking for a similar one specifically about how how babies are made so we can read and talk about it together.

Sounds to me, OP, like you've taken completely the right path in what you've told your son.

I wish my parents had been more open with me; I picked everything up in the playground, figured my mum was never going to get round to having "the talk" with me, and just told her I already knew about "sex and stuff" (I think I was 9). Think she nearly choked to death.

(To be fair, she was always pretty open about periods etc. And I asked a loooot of questions.)

I've always said I'd be open and honest with my own kids (age appropriate, obviously). Better they hear it from parents than gather a load of dodgy myths. I went to college with a girl who'd been brought up in a super Catholic family and believed all the myths about sex and pregnancy. Guess who dropped out of college to have a baby...

@leedy the boy in question would still be thinking it if mother had her way, she is still trying to tell him the dog is his sister, she's very angry at teacher for " ruining her life" I don't think the teacher meant harm in telling him his mum hadn't given birth to the dog and I don't think she realised it wasn't something that the boy had thought up but that his mum had actually sat him down and told him herself that the dog was his sister and she gave birth to him. Mum in question told me she'd told him this when he was about 6 as he was asking questions about babies and people, she thought the dog looked hurt and left out when she was telling him about how he was born so she then told him the story of how she gave birth to the dog because her and his dad wanted him to have a sister (he was furious at his wife as he had no knowledge of her saying this.)

I can't describe their parenting style without confusing myself, they are overly strict on the smallest things like spilling a drink, but way too lax on serious stuff like hitting teachers and watching porn. I used to be good friends but sort of stepped back when I had to sit on the kitchen floor with my coffee so that the dog could have the chair at the table. She is lovely in most ways but sometimes I worry for her, and also the impact some of the stuff she does has on her son and I've told her so. He has never had a day out because she won't leave the dog at home, he can't go to parties for the same reason. It's sad and I can understand why he displays a lot of the challenging behaviours he does at times with the massive mixed messages he gets in his own home.

Y1 at the ds' school saw the learning all the scientific names for the reproductive system. Penis, testes, ovaries etc. is that standard? I was pleased-one less job for me!

Yanbu op, it's entirely appropriate if he's been asking questions persistently. As for 'special hugging'- just eww.

I've been slowly but surely tell my DDs about sex/periods/puberty since they were toddlers. They are told though that they are NOT to discuss it at school as other parents may not have told their children and its not up to my children to tell them.

They know the correct words (penis/vagina/sperm/etc) but we explained it the the mummy has a nest in her tummy called a womb which she lines with blood (hence the period if she doesn't have a baby growing) and she gets pg if the sperm from the daddy's penis meets her egg (& explained how the sperm gets out of the penis when appropriate).

We also explained its like a recipe - daddy has half the recipe in the sperm and mummy has the other half in her egg - the baby needs both halves of the recipe to grow and if the recipe doesn't make sense (like a cake recipe that called for 2 eggs, a banana, one burger and a welly boot won't make a cake) then the baby won't grow properly and sometimes those babies die (the elder two have classmates who have lost siblings at birth/during pg and they asked why).

We've also explained that sex is just for adults and if anyone tries to get them to touch/be touched where their knickers go they are allowed to do anything in order to get away (lie/hit/scream/bite/be rude/etc).

DD1 (5.5m Y1) knows about the anatomy of men ans women. I get my nursing degree books out. She knows that women grow babies in a uterus and then either give birth through a vagina or as an operation. She knows that she's made partly from Daddy's set of instructions (looking at DNA in A&P book) and partly from Mummy's.

She's just got to the age where she is linking things (as evidenced by the Millennium Falcon discussion this week) so it won't be long before the next discussion.

YANBU for telling the truth in an age-appropriate way. How can it ever be unreasonable to tell the truth?

BTW I shocked DH this week by informing him that by the time our daughters are old enough to be having sex (so pre-16) I will have told them enough (age appropriately) about porn and the porn industry so that they won't be confused if they date a man who has watched a bit too much and normalised it. It's one think to preserve the innocence of a child and another to make them ignorant of the world they are heading out into.

"she'd told him this when he was about 6 as he was asking questions about babies and people, she thought the dog looked hurt and left out when she was telling him about how he was born so she then told him the story of how she gave birth to the dog because her and his dad wanted him to have a sister"

This is quite, quite amazing.