AIBU to ask parents of children with special needs a question?

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I am developing a project (not for profit) for children with special needs and I'm needing help with the wording of the project.
As a parent of a child with special needs would you prefer the term children with additional needs or children with disabilities?
The project is open to children/YP with all disabilities so wondering if additional needs would be a better phrasing?

I have a child with ASD and personally I prefer the term 'children with disabilities'. DD is high functioning and I feel that many people dismiss her needs or are embarrassed to label her as disabled, denying her provision in the process. I know that it's more 'politically correct' to say 'additional needs' though and some parents prefer it. I don't know if you'll get a consensus on this, but that's based on my own personal experience as a parent of a child with disabilities.

Thank you for your replies

I prefer additional needs as I think disabled has more negative connotations. But everyone has a different approach so, as toad said, I don't think you'll get a consensus.

You won't get a consensus on this I'm afraid, it's a very emotive subject.

I have 3 children, 2 of whom are disabled, and I describe them as having disabilities which also leads to them having additional needs.

There's such a range that this covers. My son has the all encompassing 'developmental delay' which is pretty mild in the grand scheme of things. I don't think I'd like him to be referred to as a child with disabilities, even though some of them are. Simply because it is ignoring the huge range of things about him which are normal. I think additional needs is clearer, more straight talking. All kids have needs, some have more than others and some have a lot more than others.

Not all children with Additional Needs have a disability so I would prefer disability as it would highlight the specific group within the Additional needs community that you are targeting.

I really don't know, I have a ds with a physical disability and an ASD and in my mind they both require extra support but are different things.

Maybe they seem different to me because his ASD is of a type where it feels like a difference rather than a problem, it comes with it's pros as well as it's cons whereas his physical disability is only a restriction on him, it doesn't come with any positives at all.

If his function was more reduced by his ASD I think it would seem more like a disability.

Who is the project aimed at?

Is it for children with additional needs but not necessarily a diagnosis? This could include vunerable children who are on as radar and need additional support in their lives. Additional needs would be fine with me.

Or is it for children with a diagnosed condition that would be classed as a disability? Or at least on the pathway to a diagnosis. Then it would be fine by me to say disability.

I think if its both you should probably use both terms to cover all bases and say children who have additional needs and/or disabilities.

^^ SS radar not AS

Daughter with an "atypical presentation of ASD" here! I'm not worried by different phrases, nor would I be offended by phrasing where clearly no offence is meant.

Yes, disabilities and additional needs mean different things to different people. You start by describing the children on whom your project is based as 'Special Needs' though... why not stick with that? It is a good blanket description for lots different types of needs, disability, learning difficulties etc.

For my ds, it's "with disabilities" - but he has no hope of approaching a normal life which is what I consider "with additional needs" to imply. Massive variation for all those with special needs though.

I have a dd who is missing a hand, so a physical disability.
I suppose I would prefer disability. I'm not sure why. I suppose "additional needs" could be considered to becovering more children-for example I would put dyslexia under having an "additional need", but not "disabled". Maybe that would come under your consideration.

There's such a huge range, that's the problem. I would see severe dyslexia as a disability as it gets in the way of a lot (virtually all) learning, it is also the result of 'physical disability' such as very poor working memory etc. etc.

There are so many terms to pick but no will fit every child

Your project seems very vague

I use the term SEND in work or LDD but my own child I tend to say has additional needs

Is there a reason you can't say "children with disabilities or additional needs"?

I prefer disability. In our case not physical but mental.
Additional needs doesn't feel strong enough to me, it sounds like a child who may suffer from a food allergy and may need extra attention on the dietary front, or someone with Asthma who is able to take part in everything mainstream but needs extra attention in case they have an attack. Someone like my child who cannot access mainstream, will need help for the rest of his life and will not be able to function completely independently is disabled.

I have a child with ads, but he's high functioning so I don't think of him as disabled, and more importantly, he doesn't think of himself as disabled. It's more differently abled, so I prefer the term additional needs.

I view things such as dyslexia and dyspraxia as 'additional needs' not 'disabilities', so I guess to me it would depend whether you were aiming to include or exclude these types of 'special need'.

I prefer disability because IME additional needs tends to be used by people who wish to minimise my children's actual disability but I accept I could be biased because usually its my irritating mother doing it in this context

"I am disabled they have special needs" rapidly corrected to additional needs if her more up to date mate is around.

Rightly or wrongly I would assume a service for those with additional needs would not be suited for someone significantly effected by disability.

I think you just need to make it very clear what you are offering.

Do the participants need an official diagnosis? Are high functioning ASD children able to participate, or are they 'not disabled enough'?

What exactly is the service you are offering?

Agreeinv with others that you will get a whole range of answers according to the child's diagnosis, who is using the term to who, whether there is an r in the month..

I prefer disabled /disability my son has a rare chromosome disorder that has more than likely caused his autism and learning difficulties he does not have any physical disabilities or health problems but he certainly has a disability that affects his development he attends a special needs school and is currently non verbal .