AIBU to think this is an odd thing for my doctor to say to me?

[lepetitechatgris]

Hi, first time poster, long time lurker and I'm hoping you can help me with a semi-strange situation I found myself in.

I attend a regular (annual) clinic appointment and have seen the same doctor three times now after seeing lots of different doctors over the years. Not ill, just have something that needs monitoring. Anywho, this one doctor, well I was chattering away, saying something about growing old with this condition when I heard him say in a low voice, 'well maybe we could grow old together'. Neither of us acknowledged what he'd said or turned the conversation towards discussing it. I didn't even make a joke out of it, I just thought it was an odd things to say, a bit creepy and I wondered if he was coming on to me, but lacking in self confidence dismissed that as ridiculous?! Haven't told anyone as not sure there is anything to tell? DP would find a little odd if I asked to see a different doctor as I was so very very pleased to have seen this one for more than one appointment, despite thinking he's a little odd/intense. Just wondering how to get this straight in my own head and wondering if I should ask to see another doctor. Feel silly saying all this out loud but if I do ask to see a different doctor I don't want to get into a big conversation about why the change because of a comment that could be perhaps be experienced as a little inappropriate and I certainly don't want to get the doctor into any trouble.

Thanks for any advice/clarity given.

I've already explained why I think it was innocent and I stand by that. It doesn't only have one meaning, unless you think my husbands consultant was indeed making a pass at him.

I have a great relationship with my Doctors,I have to go at least every 6 weeks(they insist)and many of them have known me for years now.But that remark would make me feel uncomfortable and it sounds like it's made you feel uncomfortable and that's all that matters how it makes you feel.

If you change your Doctor you don't have to give a reason,it's your decision,there won't be lots of questions thrown your way about why you want to change Doctor.

YABU.

I am sick of the word 'creepy' being used to describe behaviours that really are not anything like Michael Myers hanging out in a wardrobe. What are we, 13 year old girls in the playground?

"creepy

?kri?pi/

adjective informal
causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease."

FGS, youve seen this doctor once a year for three years. You wont see him again for a year. And this is how he'd choose to come onto you? So next year he's expecting you to go in and say 'you know that thing you said last year? Well yes, lets go on a date?' It makes no sense at all.

I cant see how the comment can have been anything other than - 'you'll still be coming here when youre old - and i'll still be here treating you'.

My oncologist said something similar to me. I said I'd love to live to be 100 and he said,"We'll share our 100th birthday celebrations shall we?". Dh was there at the time and said,"It'll just be you two then, I'll be long gone."

Dr was trying to reinsure you that you will live a long life with this situation. Some of the things that get said from regulars i see. Ranging from we must not keeping meeting like this to you again. Im not a doctor just an allied health. I take it at face value. Its just human talk.

Exactly, fear or unease... .

Someone clearly following you home on a dark night wearing a wolf mask is creepy. Someone anonymous ringing your phone and describing to you what you are doing is creepy. Someone calling your name from the end of a dark alley is creepy.

Someone making a remark that is possibly, at a bit of a stretch, mildly inappropriate, but also quite possibly misheard or misunderstood is not creepy. To describe it as such is to over-dramatize wildly like something out of a cheap teen novel.

For the love of Pete! A grip is needed. By all means get another doctor, tell them why, too, they are probably in need of a good chuckle.

He probably banged his head on the desk after you left thinking " why the hell did I just ask a patient to grow old with me"

We all have foot in mouth moments, I'd hazard a guess this man you have met 3 times in 3 years does not yearn for retirement with you. No offense

I would have assumed that he meant in a "patient-doctor" relationship and nothing else.

I inadvertently asked the bloke packing my bags in the corner shop to come home with me yesterday

Anyway. I would have thought it meant continuing care too, particularly as you have a long term condition?

Op it stood out to me that you said your dp would think it strange if you asked to see another doctor. I might be miles off the mark but I had a very controlling ex and that would have been my first worry, what he would think and how he would try and make out that I'd somehow encouraged the doctor. Is there anything like that going on for you?

OP it is better than my consultant, who frequently says doubtfully, "I hope you'll have many years left". I'm 35. Cheers, mate!

Honestly I think he probably meant "you have the same life expectancy as me, a healthy person" or "don't worry, this won't affect your lifespan" but it probably came out oddly.

We all have moments like that at work. A student brought in her little girl recently, wearing a red and pink coat and carrying a sparkly doll thing. I referred to her as "he" twice. No idea why, I could just hear myself doing it.

Unless he has said or done anything else that is weird, I'd let it go.

I think I've mentioned this before, but I had to have a breast ultrasound and examination a couple of years ago. The doctor was a woman... First she told me I had a very athletic build, then after the examination, she told me I had perfect breasts, a delight to examine. I was a tiny bit taken aback, but just said, "That's what my boyfriend says!" And she laughed looking a little embarrassed. I don't think she meant anything by it except that they were cancer-free!

I work in health care and say daft things on a regular basis. I'd imagine that his mind was mostly on your medical file and he was just trying to fit in a comment to make you feel comfortable (failing, obviously!).

Of course, he could also be some nutter we'll all read about in the daily mail next year. But if you've been otherwise happy with his care I'd let it go.

"He probably banged his head on the desk after you left thinking " why the hell did I just ask a patient to grow old with me"

^^This completely. Oh, I can imagine myself saying something stupid like this to a patient. Sometimes things don't come out the way that you intended them!

I would assume he meant you will grow old together in that he will still be seeing you once a year and he will be growing old too. So you will grow old together, in your relationship as doctor and patient. The "maybe" is because he might not be your doctor when you get old.

if the condition you have isn't going to go away, then you may well grow old with that doctor.