to think this is strange???

[MyNameIsButterfly]

I know it's good to recycle toys etc. but am I being unreasonable to think that it's extremely tight and a bit out of order from my brother to give my DD a toy laptop for her b-day what we gave to his son 4 years ago as a Christmas present. Obviously my DD wouldn't care coz she is too young to understand that it's a used toy but i would never ever consider giving used thing to someone as a present especially if it's from them! And he has got lots of cash so it's not like he can't spend £5 to get her something new. in fact he doesn't have to get her anything.
i might sound like bitch but just wanted to see am i extremely unreasonable

It wouldn't bother me - I've received second hand presents before and not thought anything of it.

I wouldn't dream of recycling a toy to the original giver. I might give it to someone else but that's different. I don't think YABU.

YANBU in my opinion. It would be a bit less odd if you hadn't given it in the first place. And if course, if someone is strapped for cash then it might be reasonable.

Different people feel differently about it.

If it was in reasonable condition and my child would genuinely love it and my relationship with the person was not one that would make me think it had been done with malicious intent, then I'd be fine with it.

If it was filthy or broken, or my child was known to not be interested in such things or the person did things like buy me weightwatchers snacks and vouchers for chin threading then I'd probably be pissed off.

It is a bit weird that he is giving back the same thing you gave I'll grant you, I'd be raising an eyebrow at that. but maybe he forgot it came from you, or thought that his child had loved it so much that yours would too, or perhaps he's canny and sees no reason to waste something with a lot more life in it.

There's nothing wrong with recycling stuff. Very sensible, in fact. Probably not the done thing to give it back to the person who gave it to you.

Did you say anything? Do you have the kind of relationship where you could pull his leg about this?

So you would rather he got her nothing than give her the toy laptop? His financial situation is none of your business. YABU.

I honestly think I live in a parallel universe to most MNers. I find it odd that he's do this and I'd be pissed off! I wouldn't mind a present that had been bought for my child from a charity shop, but to hand over one that was his DS toy I find weird anyway, let alone that you bought it in the first place!
I don't know if what I've said makes sense, but in essence, I'd rather a £1 toy from a boot sale/charity shop that had been bought specifically fas a present for my children rather than one he's found lying around his own house?!

Yanbu

He is planning to do that! Haven't yet and I'll be definitely pulling his leg about it. He told my mother about his plan who told me and he knows my DD already got 2 laptops and she doesn't play with them coz daddy is letting her mess around with his big computer which is a way more interesting

Minikievs- i think exactly the same way!

Recycling a toy isn't odd, I'd encourage that and the fact it's a few years old shows they have taken good care of it. It's nice to pass toys on.

However, giving it as a birthday or Christmas present is odd. YANBU, I'd be annoyed if that happened.

Me too Minikievs and yes OP I think it's strange as well and YANBU.

If your daughter is happy does it matter?

YANBU. It's tight and disrespectful. Fine if he wants to pass the toy back to you for your DD as his DCs have grown out of it, but it's not acceptable to give it as a birthday or Christmas present. I can't understand why anyone would think this was OK, unless it's the sort of cheese paring, parsimonious way they would normally behave. And if he had no money at all, just say "look sis, I'm skint, can we forgo presents this year".

I agree blink it is nice to recycle toys, especially if they've been well loved, played with lots and looked after.
Not as a birthday present for your DN birthday though, as you say

i totally agree about recycling toys. Most of my DDs are coming from car boot sales.
I think I gave him this idea in the first place coz i asked for one of his sons old toys for my DD what just sits at my mothers but he got a bit funny about it.

My DC have received second hand toys as gifts before - which I'm fine with provided that they're in good condition. So I don't think giving a second hand toy is unreasonable in itself.

I do, however, think it's a bit odd to re-gift a toy to the people who gave you it in the first place. Not unreasonable to be a bit annoyed about that IMO.

what did your mum say to him?

I wouldn't give a recycled toy as a birthday or Christmas present, that's stingy. Giving it back to the giver isn't that bad, like "my DS loved this laptop you gave him, now he's too old to play with it, but it's such a great toy, I'm sure your DD will love it as well."

If your daughter is happy does it matter?

Presumably she isn't that happy given that she's already got two toy computers that she doesn't play with.

I'd always buy something new as a gift, but if a toy given by my sis years earlier was age-appropriate for her dc, I'd ask if she'd like it for her dc, just not give it at that dc's birthday.

Yanbu.

So he's essentially giving you your money back . He's not wrapping up just any of his DD's toys, it happens to be a present you bought her. I think that's what makes it weird.

Ds is getting his brothers collection of Lego for Xmas. we haven't any idea of anything else to get him and we are doing a
"plastic tat for the sake of it-less" Christmas this year.

Maybe your brother doesn't know what to buy for her or maybe the laptop was such a great toy he thinks she should have use of it. There wouldn't be any point buying one if he already had one right there to give.