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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think no is NOT a complete sentence?

33 replies

pictish · 21/10/2014 18:21

Really...it's not...and if you use it as such, you're going come across as rude and socially inept.

AIBU?

OP posts:
LineRunner · 21/10/2014 18:22

No is a complete answer.

But that's about it.

WiseKneeHair · 21/10/2014 18:22

No.

SophiaPetrillo · 21/10/2014 18:23

YABU. It is a complete sentence and sometimes when you are just sick of "justifying" your decisions, whether it's being used as an unpaid CM for someone who is taking the piss in the playground or someone insisting you attend yet another of their shitey Ann Summers parties, it comes in very handy.

MrsHathaway · 21/10/2014 18:24

Yanbu, but what people mean is "you don't have to apologise when you say no, or give detailed explanations".

Will you babysit my stick insect next week?

No. (rude)
No, I'm afraid that won't be possible. (ample)
No, I'm afraid of them and you still owe me from that time when your hamster ate my first edition. (unnecessary)

Spadequeen · 21/10/2014 18:24

Yabu

Bowlersarm · 21/10/2014 18:24

Yanbu.

Can't bear the 'no is a complete sentence' on mn.

It's so very rude and hurtful.

Brassrubbing · 21/10/2014 18:25

Well, grammatically speaking, it is. But in terms of social niceties, it isn't - not in this part of the world, anyway. Having said that, I do think women and girls are socialised to proffer far too many excuses and softenings for why they are saying 'no' to something, and that in fact, we should probably say a plain 'no', or 'no, that won't work for me' rather more often than we do. I'm often gobsmacked at the suggestions on here for people to invent complex lies about why they're saying no to a frankly exploitative request.

VoyagerII · 21/10/2014 18:25

Well, it can be, it's just not normal because we're so used to flapping about explaining ourselves and filling in silences. That's why it would sound so rude by itself. "No is a complete sentence" is a way of saying we don't need to do that quite so much and with some pushy, demanding people, it's better not to explain yourself because they will use it to hang an argument on.

Some of the other non-explaining responses people suggest on here are useful. "No, that doesn't work for me" is quite a good one and "No, that's not going to happen."

Sometimes a little bluntness is necessary!

WiseKneeHair · 21/10/2014 18:25

Sorry, couldn't resist Grin
Yanbu but I think just saying no is seen as a way of disengaging and not giving the other person a chance to find excuses reasons for you to say yes.

Thehedgehogsong · 21/10/2014 18:26

I was always taught a complete sentence has to have a verb.

So 'No, thank you' could be a sentence if the thanks are given in a verb way (to thank rather than my thanks).

But No isn't a verb, so I would think not. I do however just say 'no' on a regular basis!

Original poster
pictish · 21/10/2014 18:33

I think as an expression "no is a complete sentence" is pedalled out with such regularity and pride on here...but in actuality it would make a person seem a bit unhinged.

"No...I'm not going to do that"
"I'm going to say no and stick with it"
"No...and don't ask me again"

are all blunt...without making you look a bit mad

OP posts:
SophiaPetrillo · 21/10/2014 18:38

Not especially. I've got a brilliant friend whom I absolutely love. She's kind, generous and honest. When she wants to do something you ask she says "Yes" and when she doesn't she says "No". It's brilliant, so straightforward. Why should people "qualify" their answer just to please you?

VileStatistyx · 21/10/2014 18:39

I have always interpreted it to mean that it is perfectly fine to refuse to do something. Not literally barking NO at someone Grin

That you don't have to make excuses or do something you don't want to do. That actually it is ok to not want to do something and to say so.

You see so many threads where people are seething because they are doing something they really don't want to do or feel taken advantage of and instead of standing up and saying no, you will not treat me like this (not in those words. That's the sentiment not the sentence Grin ) they take it up the arse.

I think that's what the idea of no is a complete sentence is about.

That no is fine. Don't be pushed into doing something that is going to make you miserable and then sit and sulk about it.

Sallystyle · 21/10/2014 18:39

I agree.

My husband often says 'Just say no' but I think it is rude.

If someone asked me to watch their child for example, and I just said no, I would feel really rude and awkward.

If they kept asking me, then just saying no is fine of course.

SaucyJack · 21/10/2014 18:40

YANBU. You've got more chance of pissing in the Queen's handbag is a much more civilised response.

LadyLuck10 · 21/10/2014 18:41

Yanbu, it's extremely rude. Then again it's only on mn that such advice like this is given out. In rl people are so much nicer.

amicissimma · 21/10/2014 18:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Charitybelle · 21/10/2014 18:44

YANBU and YABU. I use this on my husband when he's asking me something ridiculous, he hates it but it works. He gets the point that its not up for discussion.
Never use it on friends/family as it would come across rude, but i'm generally quite assertive so I have no problem saying " no thanks I can't make that" or "sorry that doesn't work for me". I never explain or make excuses if its something I feel is cheeky and/or taking the piss.
Most of the drama my friends have in their lives seems to come from an inability to say no right from the start, they could do with a bit of MN wisdom!

Cornettoninja · 21/10/2014 18:47

Depends on the situation, sometimes rudeness needed.

I agree it's more about not offering up an excuse that can be chipped away at or entering into a dialogue.

Aliennation · 21/10/2014 18:47

Well technically you're right.
The saying should be 'No is a complete answer'.
I say it 90 billion times a day.
Mummy can I have 5 more minutes on xbox- No
Mummy can I stay up late tonight- No
Mummy can I have 3kg of sweets- No
Repeat ad infinitum.

LittleBairn · 21/10/2014 18:51

No.

FoxgloveFairy · 21/10/2014 18:59

Well, it can be. Unless it's part of a sentence like "no I won't knit your aardvark a jumper" or "no, I don't like chocolate covered sprouts" or whatever. I just mean sometimes what comes after the word no needs to be specifically pointed out. Context is important.

LittleBearPad · 21/10/2014 19:06

But if you've been asked a closed question...

"Do you like chocolate covered sprouts?"

Then "no" is a perfectly sufficient response.

WerkSupp · 21/10/2014 19:10

How about, 'Fuck off'?

VileStatistyx · 21/10/2014 19:10

If you've been asked if you like chocolate covered sprouts, only the response "what the fuck is wrong with you?" is sufficient.

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