To want to relocate...(Sensitive subject matter)

[JPaws93]

I am a victim of a serious sexual assault which happened a couple of years ago. The offender is due for release from prison in February of next year.

I haven't had an easy time but now my life has fallen back into place and I'm happy as I can possibly be with dp and family.

I only have a really small family and a family I consider close friends, dp has his family who he doesn't see often due to his own reasons.

Come February when the b*tard is released, I would feel much better if dp and I moved away as we are currently ttc ready to start our own family and the offender lives a few towns over in the same county.

AIBU to want to move to another area further away ? Not yet discussed this with dp but considering bringing it up soon.

Not at all unreasonable, but would you also both have to change jobs?

you shouldnt feel that you have to move. but if its the only way you feel you can move on from your ordeal then bring it up with your partner.
have you had councilling?

I currently receive Employment Support Allowance as I am still classed as unfit for work due to PTSD and other health issues.

DP has been looking for a new job anyway as he is unhappy at work and would like something else moving forward.

I just don't want to seem like I am overreacting if I bring it up with dp. I also worry that by asking him about moving, it's forcing my past to affect his life which I would feel terribly guilty about

I don't think you are being at all unreasonable.

Op I think you have had a name change fail.

Yanbu to move, life is too short to live in fear.

Sorry, forgot to mention the name change.

I have had counselling and have made a lot of progress, still making progress but as I have learnt recovery is a constant journey.

I am in a much better place than I was emotionally but it's been on my mind a lot lately due to realising February really isn't that far away.

I think wanting to move could be a positive thing, you'd like a fresh start and to choose an area that you really want to bring up a family in (welcome to looking at schools websites).

Yes am fairly new and using mobile so the name change thing got muddled. Sorry!

I just feel lately everything is going so well and I'm nervous that once I know he's back out there I will end up taking 10 steps back and ending up the wreck I was

Are you in contact with your Victim Services Unit? They can help you manage your feelings around this and also try get exclusions attached to his license on release. For example they might be able to have him banned from your town or have to live in or outside of a particular area.

Thank you all for the encouraging replies

I think I will bring it up this week with dp and if he is on board start making some plans and looking into things a bit more ??

I have all the contact details for Victims Service and I have been talked through the soppo order and will be made aware of when the release happens and can ask any questions, revise the soppo order etc

Goodness, of course YNBU!! Go for it, Op. Shame it's you who has to move but better to make fresh start. With kids on the scene hopefully you really can build yourselves a busy new life. Good luck.

If this is the way you feel, no one can tell you you are being unreasonable. You cannot control how you feel about wanting to move away and it sounds very understandable to me.
It sounds like you have worked very hard and made great progress and you are the one best placed to know how and where to continue your future.
You sound a very strong person and i wish you every happiness.

You have all posted such lovely comments

I would love to give dp and myself a bright future we both deserve it and there have been times in the past I wasn't even sure I had a future.

I have realised what a strong person I really am these past few years.

I think at the moment it's all the uncertainty, no one can possibly know what will happen next year and the not knowing is what's really getting to me.

i know how you feel im trying to move too for similar reasons pretty sure its going to be for the best all around

sometimes you just have to leave

I hope we both get our fresh start.

Hang in there and don't lose hope xx

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through, I can appreciate why you want to move, the thought of potentially seeing him around the area must be terrifying. It's so unfair that to avoid this it's you who might need to move but as a previous poster has said perhaps this could be a fresh start. I'd speak to your partner about this, he may feel the same way. I'm glad that you're feeling stronger, best of luck with your continuing recovery .