should I tell her to sod off ?

[joannathecorkscrew]

DP and I have been together 2 years, he's a builder and he has a mate who has a tenant, a single woman late 40's, quite attractive, dresses well. She had a water leak and called her landlord (this mate) who was out of the country, so his wife called DP and asked if he's go around and sort it out, which he did....

That was over a fortnight ago now and she keeps texting him with silly little jobs. This morning DP got a text from her at 7am, as we were expecting a message from his DD and he was asleep, so I read it. It was this tenant woman. What got me was - she made a crack in it about an old frilly skirt of hers that DP used as rag. As well as some gossipy remarks about her neighbours. It was just that little bit too familiar I thought. I texted her back saying 'He is asleep now but I'll pass this on to him, can I help you?' Her reply was much more sober. no kisses ...

I asked DP about it, turns out he'd been round her place again in the week. He laughed and told me there's nothing going on. But he had gone around her place after work to do little jobs as a favour for his mate. I'm being pathetically insecure I know... What would you much more strong-minded MNers do ? Confront her or grow just up.?

No, I confess I found out her name and Googled her up, she's a GP. DP told me about her. He does odd jobs all the time on his way home so I wouldn't be concerned at all but it's this 7am text/skirt thing that got me.

I won't be contacting her that's for certain. He needs to be a little more Er 'ready to tell people where to get off' what's the word for that? He told me that his mate is in SA visiting his dying mum (which is true) and he doesn't need this tenant in his ear moaning about every little thing. That's the reason he gave her his number in the first place. It was this morning I asked him about it. He told me she's very demanding and he's finished there anyway. He said then that there's nothing going on.

Assertive?

Nomama bang on .

And her a GP and all... good googling

Sounds like he had good reasons to be there. Hopefully he was just feeling put upon when you asked and defended his honour, just in case you suspected - which, to be fair, you did

Agree with Tzu. Talk to your husband, enough's enough.

It's not your DP's job, she's not a friend, she can bloody well wait for her landlord to return.

To be honest the fact that she now knows that a text to him could be read by you will probably put her off the flirty texts anyway.

Put raw onions in his sandwiches. If he is anything like the men I know she won't be able to go near him for stink breath.

Doritos can also have a similar effect.

He told me if I'd not seen that text he'd have called her anyway and told her that if his GF had seen that text she sent she'd be well irked.

MY heart tells me he's a Nob letting her think she can do that... Head though says he can't really act against his nature and be all grumpy and stay away - ish with people he meets just in case ...

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP. My DH is a farrier and we also grow hay to sell to a variety of horse owners. The texts I've seen sent to him are hilarious. Seriously, some in the past have included really sexual innuendos and he's had various photos sent to him too. I think I'd have been a nervous wreck if I didn't trust him implicitly by now. If it's upsetting you he should be telling his mate to send someone else round to do this ladies odd jobs.

Did he just? That would annoy me too! He said to you, that he would have said to her, that you wouldn't have like it if you had seen it, how about him telling her that it's inappropriate & he doesn't appreciate it - not that his gf would whine about it. fgs.

Chipping has a point. He is blaming you, not taking responsibility for setting her straight.

What a cheapskate she is!

Sorry nomama didn't think of that

I was thinking how odd it would be if my DH hadn't told me - which it would be in his office based job

This is a business situation and your DH needs to put it back on a business footing. Urgently.

I think it would be great if you called her, as your DH's 'business administrator'. Tell her that as a tenant she cannot order works to be done directly, that if the flat has any faults she must go through her landlord (or currently landlord's wife) and they appoint a contractor to do the work. If she has any work to be done that is not the landlord's responsibility, and wishes your husband to do it, then his rate is £25 an hour. Thank you, goodbye.

Of course talk agree it with your DH first. It sounds as though he isn't charging friend for work done on flat, but that's irrelevant. She needs to get the message that he isn't going to be doing favours for her personally. Why should he? She isn't a friend of yours, she's a random stranger.

Star answer, kentishgirl!

Did he get paid for the jobs he's done?

I did exactly that yesterday kentishgirl. I texted her and said, any work that needs carrying out from now on, will need to go through the landlord or his wife in his absence. I also said something along the lines of, due to his, (DP's) volume of work commitments he will not be able to deal with her directly again.

She didn't pay him but his mate will pay him for the work he's done when he gets back. Thanks to all for your help and advice.

Phew, at least he got some money for it.