To not be able to tell anyone how bad I am feeling?

[Tingatingatale]

I have been feeling very up and down for months. I have pmt this weekend so am feeling very low. I can't tell anyone in real life how I am feeling though. For one I don't want to worry them and also everyone wants to offer a solution and fix me and I do anything at the moment. I have been crying for hours and just want to get under my covers and not come out.

My marriage is very strained. At times my h is lovely and other times he is selfish and moody and I can't even look at him.

I am trying to look for work and getting knock back after knock back. I am struggling with money so need to work but also no idea how I will juggle it.

I am off my diet and eating crap after crap and smoking too much although I have a cough which I have had for months.

I just can't seem to get a grip
On myself and I am embarrassed. If it was one of my friends I would tell them to get a grip, so why can't i?

Sorry for the selfish post but I need to talk to someone

Oh lovely. You aren't being selfish at all.

Do you feel any better for writing that down?

No real advice but sending you these Hope things get better

A little bit. I just want to ring my mum but I can't. She would worry all night.

As a mother, I'd want to share your burden. Give her a call.

Can I just add that as a mother I would rather my DC rang me and I worried all night than think of them feeling like this. Ring her.That's what we're here for

I bet she would prefer to help you than not know how you feel. Give her a wee phone. Even just say you're feeling a wee bit low if you don't want to tell her everything just yet.

that's what we're her for

bloody hell here

I've got two children myself and it would kill me to know one of them was upset and didn't tell me. But, she's lives away and on her own. She would break her heart and I know she worries about me enough already. What she would want be do I can't

Sorry what she would want me to do I can't

Give your mum a ring...sounds like you would like a chat with her. I guess you would like your child to in the same situation...

Ting my DS is 32. I might not be able to solve his problems, but I would offer him advice and support just as I'm sure your DM would do for you. You said you just want to be able to ring her so do it. She would be happier that you did rather than you wanting to and not doing it, IWSIM

Don't know what's going on here iyswim !!

So sorry to hear that you are feeing so down. It all seems to be getting on top of you. I so know what you mean when you say anyone you mention It to wants to "fix" you. I have a history of depression. Everything you have said rings bells to me. I strongly suggest that you consider reaching out for help. The best place to start would be your GP. I don't think any of the single issues you mention can be tackled alone and in isolation. Please don't continue to suffer alone, there is no need for it, and no shame at all in admitting that you need some hep and support. Perhaps just someone to talk to will be enough to get some perspective on things, or it may be that some medication will be of help in the short to medium term. It isn't admitting weakness or defeat or any of that. And incidentally, when I sought help for the first time with my depression it was a lingering illness like yours- a horrendous cough and headaches and lack of energy that laid me up for months that forced me to the doctors and then it all came spilling out. The doctor- who was great- said to me that she often found that people presenting with depression or similar issues often had lingering ill health that they couldn't shake. TAke control of this, it isn't going to go away on its own. You deserve better than this, you owe it to yourself. I wish you well.

Thank you. I have had depression I the past and had medication. Things aren't right and I think I bury it as I am so busy with the children and life that I'm just ignoring it and hope it will go away. I will book appointment with dr on Monday

You need to get to the doctors, plus come to the MH forum. They are very supportive over there.

Good luck with it, Tinga. As the cliche goes, the only thing you can really say to someone in the clutches of it is that it will pass. You have been here before, so you will know that. Get every piece of help you can. Talk to your partner, mum, friends. Look after yourself- I'm not talking all bikini body crap but eat well, exercise, rest. Try and carve out some time for yourself- hard as that sounds- and don't take too much on. Forget about the whole diet/ losing weight bs, that can wait. Perhaps right now is not the moment to tackle your career issues as well. You need to focus your energies on getting well and happy again, and then everything else - all those other less important things you mentioned- will be so much easier to accomplish. And as for your relationship with your partner- it's really easy to lose perspective on that at times like this. I really hit a low point in my marriage when I went through a really bad bout of depression a few years ago. My partner struggled to be emotionally supportive, and found it hard to talk about it. His help tends to be more practical- he'd wash the dishes and offer to help out with the children a bit more, but we never really talked about things the way I would have liked to. I think men naturally find it hard to open up about things and always want to wade in with a solution. Right! This is your problem- this is the solution- now can we put the telly on?! Hold off, I would advise, on really evaluating your relationship at the moment. You are likely to be making judgements that, a few months down the line, you might feel very differently about. Try to enlist his help and support as best you can and see what the next few months brings. You can do this, you are stronger than you know.