To be a nanny and to like money

[OhReallyDear]

Ok, the title is a bit provocative but I am a little bit shocked sometimes by the things some employers say to me.

There are the people who don't want to pay taxes, of course. But I also have been told many times "Well, I wish I was paid to sit down and watch TV too" or "I wish I was paid that much to play with Lego all day" Well do it, love, what stops you?

I recently worked as a temp nanny. The mother told me that it would be a lot to pay. It maybe is, but I had worked those hours, I sure deserve to be paid.
I felt guilty and thought that maybe, I should ask less.

The worst is the paid holidays... Most of the people don't even imagine that a nanny deserves paid holidays. And lord know I need them when I am working 50 to 60 hours a week.

I understand it can be frustrating to pay someone to stay with your child, but I don't force them, do I?

AIBU to think that Nanny is a real job, that I should not be ashamed to be paid every hour, to ask to be paid the going rate, to be paid even for babysitting or to have paid holidays?

Chipping,

It is possible to have mixed feelings about things, not everything is so black and white.

This year, I have returned to work full time, after many years of part time work (whilst the DDs were little). Financially, it makes sense - we really couldn't afford for me to stay part time any longer (I'm the major wage earner). So I'm now full time. Yes that was my choice, because of all the 'head' reasons listed above. But my heart wishes I could still work mornings and pick my DDs up from school every day. I am slightly envious of all my friends and their coffee mornings etc, even though it was my choice. I totally understand where the poster who works full time but is slightly envious of her nanny is coming from!

OP - YANBU. It's a hard job with long hours, you deserve more respect than that!

YANBU. Don't let anyone feel guilty for doing your important job.

I was a Childminder rather than a nanny and had one particular parent who was AWFUL for this. She was also consistently late and had to be reminded to pay me every single month.

I've stopped Childminding a year ago and now work ft out of the house and she often refers to the fact I now have a proper job instead of not working.

It's a bizarre mindset but not all that rare.

Employees don't "charge" Blessed, they are paid a salary.

The employer doesn't have to take them on if they don't agree to the nanny's requested hourly rate blessed. They can try to find a cheaper one.

I've never had negative comments from employers but have a quite a few from friends and family implying what an easy time I have. People do look down on this profession which can be infuriating at times However I do love my work and thank goodness my employers treat me with respect and appreciation.

Yanbu, I was a nanny for 6 yrs and a childminder for 4 yrs and was very lucky to have had, bar one, really good employers and clients. I think the problem of worth can be murky, holding such an intimate role in the employers life often means they may develop a sense of ownership over you. Barring one of my employers this was a positive thing for me, they cared for me and truly felt I was worth my weight in gold for the services I provided to them. Never once did the I ever feel any reluctance regarding my wage. Yes I did earn more than many of my friends who had moved on to graduate entry jobs, but that is only for a short while, pay remains fairly static as a nanny.
Years later I had an au pair for 3 1/2 yrs who we are still in regular contact with 3 years later. Good childcare is never forgotten.

Nannying sounds like bloody hard work.

I spend about 13 hours a week in charge of other people's kids and though they're very cute and I enjoy most of it, I def feel like I'm earning the money. It's unpredictable, frustrating sometimes, tiring as well as fun.

Being a full time nanny must be exhausting.

I have been on both sides and i empathise with both.

When most of your salary goes to the nanny you do feel resentful. Not towards the nanny but towards the situation. Tbh i envy my old self ! I had more money when i was a nanny.
Not every nanny employer is loaded.

Of course this is not your fault. And i agree that it is annoying when people dont see it as a 'proper' job. I remrmber my then boyfriend was saying things like this. He was earning half than me lol.

It seems that you have been unlucky but im also wondering if you dont present yourself well and you attract this kind of employers?IA i . Il

blessed we don't "set rates", we're employees and request rates, but it's ultimately down to the employer as to what they pay. Very few nannies are self employed legally. I'm both employed and self employed, it's a very thin line to tread as to what work falls under which category.

I also don't think that asking a high rate is taking the mick, if you're worth a higher rate you shouldn't be held back.

Some nanny's do take the mic with their rate per hour

Why would you use them then?

YANBU.

'How can you 'envy' your nanny for spending time with your son, when you have chosen not to?'

Most choices in life are not on the level of 'shall I do this thing that I like, or this thing that I hate?' Messy, complicated choices that involve balancing a lot of pros and cons and sucking up the bits that cause you actual pain are a feature of life. And nobody is saying that they don't feel grateful to have those choices, just that emotions sometimes take a while to catch up with decisions.

The only time I envied my nanny's pay was when we were eating a lot of lentil soup to afford her wages and to have her telling us about her membership at the local super-posh health club. But that was more about her having a very solvent boyfriend and being young and child-free, than about her earning too much.

I think the only thing to do about this is to get pretty hard as nails about your own worth and to be ready to walk away if your employers show that attitude. And that's quite hard to do when women in general are not admired for expecting good financial compensation for their time/experience, and as Isefix says, are in an initimate domestic relationship with their employers.

YANBU

I've hears it all before too.
I find it funny there are employers out there who would do anything to reduce the nanny's wages but don't bat an eyelid at the cleaning lady charges.

YANBU

Erm Wantto ... I don't use those nannies that take the mic with their pay requests .... I scroll straight past to find somebody who is more realistic about their salary !!

YANBU.

I looked into getting a nanny when my boys were small and I was going back to work. In the end I went with nursery because I really felt I couldn't pay what I thought the nanny was worth.

She would have been looking after 8 month old twins, my most precious, well, anything, for minimum wage. I couldn't. She would have accepted it (as this was a full time gig and she was only working part time) but I just couldn't offer it to her in good faith.

Blessed what do you think is a reasonable hourly rate and what do you consider to be taking the mic?

Asleep It just seems to me that if you choose to work, when you don't have to, envying the nanny for doing something you could do if you wanted to is a bit... I don't know, 'off' somehow. It's the 'choice' element that makes it feel a bit 'special' to me, a bit like someone with a huge expensive house envying someone with a smaller house, not like someone in a tiny studio flat who envies someone living in a 3 bdrm tce. Not sure I've explained it that well - and I'm sure it's something we all do from time to time! :)

An unqualified nanny asking for £15per hour is taking the mick.

It's usually young women in their twenties with a sense of entitlement that ask for that type of hourly rate.

Yanbu. That your employers would mess you around financially.

Hiring a nanny is more convenient and better for dc than using a nursery. I use a day nursery but accept that I don't get anything like 1:1 or 1:2 ratio of staff to dc. I expect a nanny is more expensive.

You can only charge what people are prepared to pay based on your qualifications and experience. If they can find the same or better more cheaply they are free to do so!

Yanbu You deserve your pay - nannies may not have a degree, training to the nth degree as in some careers etc but as far as level of responsibility goes, they are looking after the employers most precious, valuable and irreplaceable jewels.

Blessed, you sound fairly certain you know what they are entitled to and I suspect it isn't much. There are employers who will pay £15 an hour and the nannies have every right to pursue the higher wages. If they can't get employed due to lack of qualifications or experience then of course they might have to rethink their rates or choice of career. However, if finding employment is not a problem, good for them!!

I'd be concerned about a parent who wasn't a little bit envious of the time the nanny spends with their DC tbh. It's completely normal even if you choose to work, even if you love your job, even if you don't enjoy being at home with the DC full-time.

OP, YANBU. Nannies are employees and should be treated as such. Unfortunately, some parents really struggle with this. It's understandable given that the nanny is caring for the most valuable thing they have, but very frustrating as a nanny.

Some of the threads on here are shocking. I've seen 'nanny is pregnant, how can we let her go', 'I wouldn't employ a nanny who has her own children', lots and lots of 'get rid', 'sack her' etc. after a nanny has committed a minor offence. There is one at the moment about asking the nanny's referee personal questions about the nanny (what's her boyfriend like?!). I'm sure the majority of these posts come from people who are normally rational and reasonable, but when it comes to childcare any sense of being a decent employer/employment law disappears.

I can understand the idea of people being envious of their nannies for being the one with their child so often. I see it similarly to the fact that I have no intention of putting any children I have into nursery so that I can continue my career of looking after somebody elses children.

However, it's when the parent's feelings get in the way of being a good employer that it gets bad.

Blessed Yes, but that's not taking the mick though it's being unrealistic.

Again, nannies don't charge, you set a rate (and should advertise the gross pay range you intend to pay in your adverts!) and nannies can decide whether they want to apply for that.

Outraged I see the same thing again and again on here too. It's quite saddening actually. It makes me glad that my employer is human and knows that I make mistakes or forget to do something sometimes or just that her toddler daughter can be a bit of a handful so sometimes the housework doesn't get done (I'm a nanny/housekeeper).

I've seen people on here positively lambasting nannies for not getting jobs done, but if a parent posted the same and about her partner expecting housework to be done when the kids are ill/they aren't feeling 100% themselves/kids going through funny stage, it'd be a case of "Well you're allowed a bad day sometimes!" Obviously I know that as nannies we're to be professional and try to get everything done, but wse are also human and sometimes things don't go amazingly well through the day.

That and the attitude towards young/newly qualified nannies. We all started as NQ Nannies or young nannies yet most parents shudder at the thought of hiring them and make a big deal out of it. I'm so glad that the families I worked for gave me a chance. I love nannying and never would be where I am today without being given the chance to prove it. If I ever have a nanny of my own I think I'd probably look to a NQ/young nanny just to give them their first step into the career.

YANBU at all.

I personally think anyone commenting on anyone else's job or how much they get paid is a bit off.

DH and I recently totted up how much we spend on childcare and it is eye watering but why shouldn't it be? Given how much we also spend on the upkeep of cars and the house why would we expect the care of our child to be cheap?

Anyone who thinks that nannies spend the day playing with Lego and primary teachers with sand are either very daft or being wilfully ignorant.

YANBU. As a childminder, i feel the same.

The number of parents that i get who quibble about paying when their child is sick or me taking (unpaid) holiday with plenty of notice. Even though they signed the contract clearly stating this!

I charge the same as everyone else around here and i feel i am extremely fair and flexible, but people just don't take childcare jobs seriously. And they certainly don't realise how much paperwork we have to do!