As a stay at home mom, i accept doing most of the chores. But
I have insisted from the beginning (when I was training my 2 dcs already) that there is a difference between cleaning the house, and cleaning up after people. Everyone is expected to not leave a trail of clothes, shoes, papers, wrappers, hairbrushes etc. It is kind of the difference between the need to tidy your belongings before the maid arrives, and the cleaning you pay her to do (i think, never having had a maid.) Sometimes, someone teenaged would point out that I left a job waiting, and I would have to clarify that me not cleaning the kitchen in a timely way because I would clean it later was VERY different than someone else not cleaning it because I would clean it later!
When training spouses, maybe pick one thing to concentrate on for a time period. For 6 months, concentrate only on the tidy behind yourself don't CREATE work for me view. Or concentrate only on a few chores that you want to establish a rota with. Though even then, to some extent, you have to accept a job done differently than you would do it. With dh, and to a lesser extent, dcs, i tried very hard to appreciate a job pretty much done and being left with just the details.
emms dh complaining that she has a go about him doing it wrong for instance. A quick chat here would reveal that a good many of us don't don't use the exact same tools, methods or standard for a given job. Especially with your spouse, you are dealing with an adult, so long as the task is done in any sort of respectable fashion, let it go. Eventually, i had to accept that my husband 'does the dishes', which includes any necessary putting away of leftovers and clearing of counters/cooktop, though he leaves puddles and streaks on the worktop and seems unaware of the floor. I, on the other hand, clean the kitchen. I wash the worktops and cooker, i sweep the floors, i wipe down the cabinet fronts and handles. Mostly. I mean, to this day i dont clean the kitchen as deeply each night as my mother! (I think my big revaluation about spouse's after dinner efforts came when my mother kept detailing the kitchen after me during a visit!)
Once you have them doing a job, you can work on adding value. Or not. Dh vacuums, moving and piling clutter and furniture. I used to get mad he never dealt with the clutter, or put the furniture back. I used to have a go about that. But after a while, i looked at it as a shared task. I hate vacuuming because I feel the need to do all the rest. He doesnt mind because he doesn't register the rest needs doing. So, he vacuums, and all I do is 'the rest'.
Designated landing spots (someone mentioned his side of the bed, and a spot in the kitchen) are good. At a point when we still had the older children at home, i got a shelf and deep baskets that fit it, and that's where everyones stuff went when it was in my way/after he vacuums. Even after older dcs moved out, when mail still came or they left things after a visit. A couple times a year I might have to insist the basket was cleared out a bit so I had room. After they moved out, they would automatically check it when they came round. I still have the basket and shelves. I have no doubt when dcs eventually come to visit this house they have never lived in, they will reflexively have a look in their basket for whatever. Drawback: we have moved regularly. There have been times when his piles were simply packed in a box and shipped. There have been times when he sorted while unpacking. There have been times when the pile stayed boxed past the next move! I have my pile spots too, though mine are more actively sorted, dealt with, paid, filed. Mostly. There have been times I have discovered a box of random stuff of mine that didnt get dealt with before a move!