to get sick of being remembered as 'the quiet one'

[Beansprout30]

Ive always been a very quiet person and used to struggle with shyness and confidence right up until I left college. Now 31, I feel so much more confident and able to handle situations where id used to find really difficult.

I was on an external training course with work the other week and I know this will sound pathetic to some, I came away so proud of myself for getting involved and mixing with complete strangers. Today I bumped one of the trainers and said 'oh hello I recognise you from...' his response 'yes you were the quiet one'. Ffs this put a real downer on my morning that im still branded this even as an adult. I just find it a little rude and unthought full, im sure the guy didn't mean to make me feel bad but I wish some ppl understood how hard it is if you're not naturally out going and by branding someone for being quiet can be really hard to take.

Reading this back does sound a bit daft I know but just get fed up of it.

YANBU. It was kind of rude of him to label you like that. He could just have said 'Yes, I remember you said x' or 'you work at y'. He can't be much of a people person himself if he's that tone deaf!

There's nothing wrong with being 'quiet' but there is a lot wrong with labeling people, like this trainer did to you. What if he had said 'you were the loud one?' That would be rude too. It's a personal remark to make.

Have you heard of this book ? It examines how our (Anglo-American) culture came to value extroverts compared to introverts so much and suggests that 'quiet' people actually have a lot to offer in a group situation and shouldn't be labelled 'shy' or pushed into being something they're not out of social pressure.

Very good Ted Talk on Youtube on The Power Of Introverts as well.

Thanks, I think I might order that book

I know exactly what you mean...people say it like you have some kind of personality defect.

YANBU. If everyone was an extrovert, it'd be a bloody nightmare. Yin and Yang and all that. V thoughtless comment.

Don't worry about him. Who needs big mouths all the time ? Every school report I own says I didn't talk enough, was too quiet. My mum teased me about not having many friends. I am now my own person, talk plenty. Am able to handle myself better than most (public speaking etc). I just prefer my own thoughts.

Ignore him.

Ignore the little arse. You probably project an enigmatic air of mystery and he felt threatened by you.

YANBU-but same goes if you get remembered as 'the loud/chatty/talkative one'. I have spent years wishing I could shut up be quieter.