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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I rude?

31 replies

Natalie1989xo · 17/10/2014 15:57

Just walking to the school to collect my son and a large groups of adults and children are approaching on the footpath. I slow down so they can see me and move as I had a pushchair (they did not). A woman and child are directly in my way and don't appear to be moving out of my way so I stop where I am to allow them to pass. The child moves around me and the mother (presumably) continues directly at me and dodges my stationary pushchair at the last second and walks around. As she passes me she says 'wow you are rude'. I can only assume she is aiming that at me? I mean, should I have thanked her for not allowing me to pass her? Or should I have apologised for being in her way?

OP posts:
Funkytown · 17/10/2014 15:58

Nope you wasn't rude people like this anger me
It's easier to move two feet then two feet and four wheels !

Candycharm · 17/10/2014 15:59

Clearly she was rude, you stopped she carried on as if to intimidate you maybe, it's strange behaviour but I wouldn't worry about it.

Aeroflotgirl · 17/10/2014 16:00

She is rude, you stooped to let them pass, what so tgey want you to do, roll out a red carpet!

KurriKurri · 17/10/2014 16:00

No you weren't rude, she was.

She sounds like a candidate for a traditional Mumsnet 'Oh do fuck off Dear'

WeirdCatLady · 17/10/2014 16:01

If they were standing still then why couldn't you have simply said 'excuse me'? If they were walking, why would you assume that the mother and child should move for you and your child?

To be honest, if I was walking towards someone who then simply stopped and stared at me I would think you were a bit of a loon.

Original poster
Natalie1989xo · 17/10/2014 16:02

Usually I apologise if someone is approaching and I am in their way but I am sick of apologising, for what, walking? I always make way for other pushchairs and am quite considerate of others but the rest of the population apparently is not!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 17/10/2014 16:02

Need a few details - how old was her child and did you take the inside of the pavement, forcing her child to walk next to the road? If you did - I would have done the opposite - with a pushchair I would have gone kerbside as a baby in a pram is less likely to bolt on to the road than a child.

trikken · 17/10/2014 16:04

No you were right. She should have said thank you.

Original poster
Natalie1989xo · 17/10/2014 16:05

WeirdCatLady They were walking and I assumed as I had slowed and kept to one side that they would reciprocate, I do not think I am superior to them just common decency for them to allow us to pass.

OP posts:
sunbathe · 17/10/2014 16:08

It's normal for adults to make way for each other. If I'm walking with my dcs , I would expect us to go single file for a few moments to allow someone to go the other way. It's just good manners.

On the other hand, I have just stopped and stood still when approached by 4 people coming the other way, all in a line across the pavement. Where are you meant to go?

Original poster
Natalie1989xo · 17/10/2014 16:08

Are there any left at all There is a standard pavement then a grass verge of equal size then the road. The group was covering the path and the verge. I pushed pushchair onto grass verge and she continued to walk directly at the pushchair though I had nowhere to move to. Her child was about 9/10 and he did move around me. I assume she wanted an apology for me being in her way Hmm

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 17/10/2014 16:12

Then yanbu

TarkaTheOtter · 17/10/2014 16:12

I find that adults with primary school ages children are the least likely to say thank you when I take my pushchair into the road/stand to one side so they can pass. It always surprises me because I expect them to remember that it can be a pita to manoeuvre a pushchair (especially a double). I find a PA "no, thank you" makes me feel better.

ScarletFever · 17/10/2014 16:12

there is a type of push-chair-pusher who assumes that everyone should dive out the way so the sainted-pcp can keep walking along - even worse are the ones that walk next to each other and expect us people with older children to jump out the way

OP - Not saying you are one of those, as I don't know you, and you cant tell from the post

AYBU? depends on how wide the footpath is- if its wide enough for you and them to get past each other, at least in single file, then no - you are not...

WeirdCatLady · 17/10/2014 16:12

How could they let you pass if you had stopped?
I'm confused.
So there was a group on the pavement and both you and this woman had to walk around them?
I suspect she thought you were being arsey by just standing there.

ScarletFever · 17/10/2014 16:15

...There is a standard pavement then a grass verge of equal size then the road.....

reading that - sounds like they're a few sandwiches short of a picnic... :-)

LiverpoolLou · 17/10/2014 16:20

I thought normal etiquette was that both parties make an attempt to move sideways to allowing passing. The person standing their ground forcing the other to do all the 'work' is being rude.

ElliotLovesGrub · 17/10/2014 16:24

Yanbu. This really irritates me when big groups block the whole path and decide none of them will move regardless of how much you move for them.

Yarp · 17/10/2014 16:24

I think that since you stopped, you weren't rude.

Taking up the whole pavement in a big group is rude, IMO.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 17/10/2014 16:27

How can people not understand such a simple OP!

The OP was walking on a footpath with her buggy

A group of parents and children were walking towards her.

They did not move to allow her to pass them so she stopped.

One woman only moved at the last moment.

YANBU OP.

it happens to me all the time on a shared cycle path....I am riding a bike with my DD on the back...people are walking/jogging towards me on the WRONG SIDE and they expect ME to move.

The path is marked as shared and also as "Road rules apply....keep to your left"

People are idiots.

ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 17/10/2014 16:28

Weird sigh. She stopped because they were not allowing her to pass...so she had to or she'd have rammed them with her pram.

iwishiwasacat · 17/10/2014 16:33

YANBU or rude! That woman was just being an arse.

Original poster
Natalie1989xo · 17/10/2014 17:17

Thanks all. I would have just asked her if she was talking to me when she said about being rude but I am not really one for public confrontation.

OP posts:
ClapHandsIfYouBelieveInFatties · 17/10/2014 17:26

No. It's best avoided at all costs. Unless of course you have to physically stand up for yourself.

CrispyFern · 17/10/2014 17:32

If you see her again throw an egg at her head. It's the only way she will learn.