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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what you do with your baby all day?

62 replies

Eminybob · 17/10/2014 09:31

DS is 14 weeks old and I'm worried that he's getting bored when we're at home and I'm not stimulating him enough.

We have outside the house activities most days, we do swimming, baby sensory, rhyme time and a baby group. And some days we'll just go shopping or meet my friends.

When we are at home he has a baby gym playmat thing, a bouncy chair, and other toys which I do play with with him, or sometimes he is happy playing my himself but only for a short while. I look at picture/black and white books with him etc and read to him. And we do tummy time for a bit but he's not a big fan so we can only do a couple of minutes at a time.

But I obviously can't be playing with him constantly, I need to get on with stuff so I pop baby TV on and he will happily watched that for a bit. I do worry about him watching telly from such a young age though.
Sometimes we just sit and cuddle while I watch a bit of grown up telly.

Does this sound ok? Any tips for keeping us both entertained? Can you tell me what your day looks like with your baby?

OP posts:

Cakebaker35 · 17/10/2014 12:25

As others have said, you're doing a lot, babies that age need very little in terms of entertainment, so carry on going to stuff if you like it but at this age be aware it's more for you than your D's, so if there's any activity you don't enjoy then ditch it. As for getting stuff done just move them around the house with you in the bouncy chair as you get on with chores and you're doing loads of other stuff so really it's plenty! Ditch the TV, there's really no benefit in that when so tiny I'd say. Slow down a bit and enjoy a cuppa on the sofa while your little one watches you eat a biscuit, you are the most interesting thing in the world to them now! Enjoy this phase as once toddler/preschool age happens you really will need to be entertaining your Ds!

blurredlines · 17/10/2014 12:27

Do people really do playgroups with newborns?? Mine would just sleep though the whole thing !

Original poster

Eminybob · 17/10/2014 12:37

Thank you I do feel so much better now after those comments. I do need to chill out. I'm sat in sainsburys cafe at the mo having a tea and carrot cake while he snoozes in the pram. Guilt free!

OP posts:

Mintyy · 17/10/2014 12:41

Its not your fault at all op but I do hate the way we've been sold this idea that we always need to be doing stuff for our tiny babies.

That said, it does get incredibly boring and lonely being alone with a baby day in day out. Thank God for my NCT friends and coffee mornings at other people's houses is all I can say.

Also, I used to walk miles and miles with the pram to avoid being stuck in all the time. Come rain or shine I would walk everyday.

I have never lost weight so quickly or easily as I did after having my first child .

HappyNap · 17/10/2014 12:50

At this age do whatever you want to do and will help you relax.

Because soon (in six months time) you'll have to do what your LO wants to do

mrsmilkymoo · 17/10/2014 12:54

After reading the OP I panicked that I wasn't doing enough with dd. Thankfully reading through the thread has reassured me! She's 10 weeks old, and we've just started going to a weekly baby group, we go out for walks, occasionally see friends, play with toys and soft books, and she plays with her activity gym thing, or sits in the bouncy chair and watches me. Sometimes there is trashy tv on in the background, and sometimes we have little photo sessions (which I think I enjoy far me than dd!). But we don't have any structured activities. I don't drive and can't face struggling with the pram on buses, so much as I'd like to take her to swimming classes, that will have to wait.

Teladi · 17/10/2014 12:57

He won't be bored! I also only have one so I remember what it was like. I had some anxiety issues though so we didn't go to many groups (just one toddler group)

He will like to watch you do things around the house so don't feel you have to put him in front of the TV.

Teladi · 17/10/2014 12:57

Oh I did take her to baby massage (that was organised through my GP practice) and she liked that. We used to do that in the afternoon sometimes.

Enjoy your cake!

RoseTheHat · 17/10/2014 12:58

I was just like you with DC1 - the classes were good for me as I got some adult interaction but looking back it is a bit ridiculous to take a newborn to rhyme time or whatever

Agree Mintyy I walked for miles with the pram as didn't know what else to do with the baby- was a size 10 never before or since!!

I have a 3.5 year age gap between mine as I found it all so overwhelming BUT I now wish I'd gone for the smallest gap possible as I was SO much more relaxed once number 2 came along!

Being on your own all day with one small baby after probably having a busy working life before - it's v hard.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 17/10/2014 13:02

I did no classes or clubs with dd. We woke about nine (dh had already got her up, fed and changed and played with her from seven and put her down for a snooze when he left for work), and would laze round the house til her 10am feed. Then we would walk to the shops for that evenings dinner. Home for lunch, bottle, nap at two ish. Id then go to a friends or family members for a cup of tea, and we both wpuld be home at 5.15 for Pointless on the telly

Her awake time at home was a bit of playing on the floor, playmat while I did thedishes, stories, or her in her bouncer while I sat with a brew and talked the hind legs off her.

Have got ds on the way soon and due to having a now three year old dd I know it wont be anywhere near as relaxing!

milkpudding · 17/10/2014 13:12

Up until your baby's age mine was largely happy to be wherever I was, but soon after that she started getting bored more easily, so make the most of being able to relax now! She is 4.5 months now and she is most entertained by interacting with adults, rather than special classes. We go swimming but tbh I think she enjoys the praise more than the water!

VSeth · 17/10/2014 13:15

I think that you are doing great, I loved watching TV with my little one asleep on my shoulder at this age.

Your activites sound bang on, especially going into the winter months, keep active and happy. in a week I made sure that we had a morning and afternoon (on a differant day) for doing nothing.

lotsofcheese · 17/10/2014 13:23

It sounds like he's doing plenty.

One thing I'd say is that young babies can fit in to whatever you are doing - so make the most of that now, before he gets mobile and/or you have DC2 - your life will soon become an endless trial of chasing-toddler/round-park, endless tantrums, food thrown on the floor, teething etc.

Just enjoy the easy (!) baby stage, as things will be more limiting for you in the future. Yes, can you tell that my coffees with friends are disastrous of late, thanks to DD being on the move!

So I'd say go round the shops, out for coffee, lunch etc while you still can.

dreamingbohemian · 17/10/2014 13:23

I did very very little when DS was that age, I was too exhausted. I don't think he missed out on anything and ever since (he is 4 now) he has always been happy to play on his own for long stretches, does not need constant attention or activities. Maybe he would have been the same regardless but I think it probably helped just chilling out so much when he was little.

One thing I might suggest instead of TV is the radio -- my DS loved listening to music, I listened to lots of radio 4 too. It's good background noise while you're cleaning or resting or whatever.

silverstreak · 17/10/2014 13:38

I honestly don't think a 14wk old can be bored.....! They like to watch the world go by more than anything else and are more than happy to just watch you doing stuff (at least, mind was!). My best advice - get a sling and crack on with all your stuff together! :) (the other things sound great to, btw, but as many others have said you're in danger of burning both of you out early on!)

misshoohaa · 17/10/2014 13:46

My DD likes her bouncer pushed up to the back door window so she can look outside, other than that she rotates from playmat to bumbo in the kitchen, sling, cot, etc and spends the rest of her life fitting in with her brother.

Enjoy the opportunity to chill out with her or let her fit in to things you enjoy like walking, shopping, cafés. Soon enough she'll be mobile then you'll be go go go..... And then you'll have another and the second will get half the attention and still be just as happy!

Well done though for being such a conscientious mummy, if you are enjoying the flurry of activities then it's completely up to you of course!

cailindana · 17/10/2014 16:42

Definitely pfb, but in a good way! If you ever have no.2 and he/she spends most of the day being hauled around after no.1 you'll look back on this time and laugh :) My poor old DD (no.2) was lucky to get 5 mins of "stimulation" - unless you call watching me wiping DS's bum stimulating!

wheresthelight · 17/10/2014 17:04

sounds fine hun! stop worrying

when dd was first born I looked into the classes and did a few all the free taster sessions and then ruled out all the ones with the fricking irritating "leaders" who had the annoying sing song voice when speaking to adults!

we did very few groups in the end, in fact other than the weigh clinic during a baby play session I went to nothing other than swimming lessons with her.

most of our time was spent walking the dog or sitting in coffee shops with her having cuddles with friends or sleeping while I read a book/paper/menu just to get me out the house.

ignore the people telling you that you are doing too much and baby doesn't need it or that you will end up a helicopter parent as they are just being bitchy. if you are getting something from the groups then keep going to them!

as for being at home my dd had a bizarre obsession with the washing machine spin cycle so would happily sit enthralled for hours. whilst he is so tiny just enjoy the cuddles

ithoughtofitfirst · 17/10/2014 17:14

I used to worry about this all the time.

You sound like you do LOADS with them though. I agree with silver just crack on with your day and let them watch you do stuff and just chat shit to them.

needyoumorethanwantyou · 17/10/2014 17:37

It wasn't too long ago when baby groups, baby sensory etc didn't even exist!.

You're doing absolutely fine. Stop fretting.

ithoughtofitfirst · 17/10/2014 17:47

Oh god the baby sensory thing reminds me of when i went to an nct group with a 4 week old that my husband forced me to go to and one of the mums started talking about something down at the library where they played with coloured scarves. I just stood up and walked out. I had really bad pnd.

Sorry. Irrelevant.

Homebirthquestion · 17/10/2014 18:14

Most people go to the groups in desperation. Being at home with a baby is pretty dull so don't be fooled into thinking it's actually for their development.

The great news is that subsequent children are happily entertained by watching the older ones so you have to do far less with them.

Beatrixemerald · 17/10/2014 19:30

My dd is 17 weeks and my schedule sounds identical to yours. However, I do it mostly because sitting in the house all day would drive me mad.

Greenrug85 · 17/10/2014 19:56

All your baby needs is you.

KalindaSharma · 17/10/2014 20:04

You sound like you're doing fine OP, apart from maybe being a bit TOO busy/stimulating! Try to relax and just enjoy the slowness and wonder of this time... until the next cry/feed/poo explosion! You've both got plenty to do just existing at the moment!

Your post made me really wonder where this idea about constantly 'stimulating' babies is coming from? Anyone have any ideas?

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