To ask the school

[Thereistoomuchconfusion]

For an action plan and to be involved in exactly how they are going to get my dd from 'below' to 'in line' on her report.

I believe her potential is so much more but she is below in every subject. I feel they are missing something. They feel she is a dreamer who won't always co operate but is a pleasure to have in the class well behaved and popular were the 2 positives to come out of her parents evening.

Her work is hugely I'm consistent. She panics about school work. I am becoming massively anxious about this. But it could just be her ability is at below standards?? But I struggle to believe this and I want to know what they are doing and what we can do as parents to help. But every time I speak to the school I bloody well cry!! The teachers must think I'm barmy. She is 6.

Aibu to ask for clear action plan with the main objective being for dd to achieve 'in line' by end of year 2.

I got dd's school to sit up and take notice by being sneaky and emailing the head teacher and asking her to forward to her teacher. The old senco was shit and didn't follow things up. That email set everything in motion and we had a meeting with her teacher , ta (she had one to one help) and the senco. The senco was shit. She took the attitude that the diagnosis was irrelevant. There is a new senco and im much more confident.

Yes i pay for extra tuition but the school absolutely do have protocols in place to help her. I spoke to the senco about an iep but she said they are being phased out and now she has the diagnosis it isn't so important. There is a plan in place and dd gets extra support at school. I am not entirely happy and will be raising concerns again at the next parents evening (soon)

The sad reality is that if you have a child with additional education needs you have a battle on your hands.

It shouldn't be like this but it is.

Op YAdefinitelyNBU don't be fobbed off

I didn't say the school wouldn't have protocols in place.

What I meant was that if a child is struggling to read and write - even in Year 1 - that would already have been picked up by a good school and support would be in place. Until they start doing exams there's not much else a school can do on a practical level which they wouldn't be doing without a diagnosis.

You have my sympathy. I have a 6 year old DS who sounds very similar. I feel he is bright, always has been but this is not really seen by the school. Also very day-dreamy.

I think that it would not be unreasonable to ask the school for a more precise action plan and maybe regular updates. You need to get a clear idea of where you DS is as "behind" can vary from a little bit below average to years behind the other kids so you need to start with a baseline of what she can already do and where that is in terms of national expectations.

Once you know that you then need to get details from the school about what she needs to do to get to where she needs to be and follow that up at home with her. Then make sure you get half termly updates about her progress. Don't be afraid to challenge the school about their assessments and ask what they are doing to help her.

It is also worth getting some tests done. Maybe firstly try the physical things such as hearing and sight. Then I think that you should do the dyslexia test too if you can afford it. Even if there is not much extra the school can do at least it offers you and your DD an explanation of why things are happening and it may also help the school to become more sympathetic to what your DD needs (not just thinking she is being unco-operative. If it is negative then at least you can relax about it.

Then look at what you can do at home to help. Sadly I have learnt from experience that your DD is just one of 30 children that the teacher has to deal with and with the best will in the world they are never going to be able to care as much or do as much as with your child as you can. Get a little routine going for reading, some writing practice, some maths. If she enjoys online things maybe do reading eggs/maths whizz or many of the equivalent programmes that are out there.

Also don't forget that she is young. As a previous poster said in other countries she would not have even begun formal education and all the milestones and attainment targets would be meaningless and wouldn't even exist.

Have faith in your DD as I have faith in my DS. I know he can and will do it in the end!!

My ds1 was also a master at flying under the radar at this age. They did pick him out as being able, but he spent many a break finishing off work... He was identified as dyspraxic when he was 9. The very experienced teacher asked me to come in and have a chat. I walked into classroom and there was one desk with half a pencil, a bit of pe kit and some scraps of paper on. "Don't tell me - that's ds1's desk " I said - indeed it was.

They referred him and eventually he was diagnosed as dyspraxic - the whole lack of fine motor control and complete lack of
Organisational skills etc. He was my first child so I didn't have much to compare him with. He was 14 when he finally got to grips with his shoelaces and on one occasion walked halfway down the street before he realised something was amiss - he hadn't his shoes on

It was hard work - we started off making laminated sheets of little things for him to remember to bring home from school - he lost the laminated sheets within 3 days... When he started senior school, it was really hard work - it wasn't just being a disorganised boy - this was on a completely different scale.

He got an alphasmart so he could take notes so he could actually read what he had written and was allowed to use a similar piece of kit in his exams - that revolutionalised his learning - it really did!

He's just started his A levels at 6 th form. He did well in his gcses - 6 A*s and 6 As, and things are so much better - he has taken on board that some things are harder for him than others - he doesn't moan about it - he finds ways around it.He has various strategies to help himself and he has come so far!

It wasn't until I had ds2 who isn't dyspraxic that I realised just how difficult ds1 must have found things...

If your school is supportive and has done what you've asked when you've spoken to them about extra support, and you are clearly doing everything you can too, then the difference that needs to be made here has to come from your daughter.

But she's six. Lots of six year olds don't really like writing and maths, and therefore don't make much effort. I can't blame them really.

You could get a tutor to help her, and you should keep giving her all the support you can at home, but she has plenty of time to keep learning and getting better. You might also have to accept that academics just isn't her thing, but you still have a wonderful little girl who's strengths lie elsewhere and those strengths should be be nurtured as much as possible too.

She sound dyslexic, have only read your bit so dont know other comments, how old is she? Will she let you help her with her work?
Depending on her age you could help support her in following ways:
Before she starts homework:
1)Make sure she has pens/ pencils/ paper etc in front of her
2) use a ruler to read each line of her homework eg if homework is reading use a ruler under eadh sentence this will help keep her focused if she is dylexic will help her brian and eyes to work together
3) have a timer, max 20 mins no distractions stop after 20 mins, 10 min break further 20 mins followed by 10 min break and finale 20 mins end of homework, any left over then tell the school its too much (again depend her age)
4) encourage her to read through her work next day as she is more likely to see the mistakes
5) dont critise her work...she'll get demoralised and she is likely to be senstive to errors, try asking her to think about what she has written and would she like to change anything.
6) homework done in quiet environment no tv/ radio or misic in background.
7) no phone calls, ideally get her to work at kitchen table, if you have one, so she can ask for your help, if you have other children try and encourage them to do a quiet activity to allow your daugter to concentrate.
8) get in to routine and stick to it, takes 3 weeks to form / break habbits so keep with
9) most important encourage reading for pleasure doesnt matter what, try more visual books though again depending on her age try Harry Potter books as these have high visual text making it easier for children with dyslexia or language processing difficulties.
Hope this helps sorry for typos typing in a hurry
And finally yes ask the school for help and check your daughter is happy, if not consider moving her if possible
Best of luck OP

Argh just seen she six, okay much easier concentrate on reading and make it fun, dont do when she is tired, and dont make it a chore, make she she knows her phonics before encouraging her to read. Let her look at picture and tell you the story, keep to max. 10 mins of 'reading' in the evenings and dont do it if she's tired, try and find time at weekends to do 10 mins in morning and again in the afternoon. Make sure quite environment and she enjoys it at 6 you really dont need to worry!

Oh sorry typing far too fast....hahaha should have read through before posting! Hope it makes some sense!

Thank you everyone for the replies. It's given me much to think about. It helps massively to read everyone's different experiences. I will work on trying to calm myself down about it all. Thanks.