Should I ask the school about this?

[Toggletothetop]

More a WWYD, I've namechanged for this.

On Tuesday there was an incident in my DS's school, It didn't involve my DS at all and was in the year group below him.

Apparently a boy brought in a knife from home and threatened another child with it, everything I've heard has been hearsay so I am not aware of any facts on the matter at all. The school have said nothing to the children or parents about this.

My issue is kids are now starting to add their own details into things and it's growing arms legs and everything in between. Yesterday my DS was a bit spooked by it and asked lots of questions and today the first thing he said to me was kids kept hunting in the bushes for the knife and lunchtime they are convinced it is in there, he is worried that it's still there and that someone will get it.

Now I know there is no knife in the bushes, I've told him this but it's definitely playing on his mind. Should I mention this to the school? Clearly if it has happened they will be dealing with it and obviously won't want to make it public knowledge but I think they should be aware that it is bothering some children. If it has happened would they even tell me anyway?

Would you approach this with the school, or just leave it?

I would - they need to address the whole school - give them the facts and reassure them. They may well be planning to do so but it wont hurt to let them know how it's effecting him and others.

I would talk to the school about it- they may be unaware of the stories going round and that children are worrying about it.

I too would speak to someone in the school you hae a relationship with - be that the class teacher, TA, teacher on duty in the playground, HT, or receptionist, but I'd definitely feed it back in to the school if the children are making such a thing of it.

They won't be able to go into the details with you, but you're not asking them to. It's perfectly reasonable to draw their attention to the fact that the incident is being embellished and going round the school causing fear and worry to the other pupils.

Yeah that's the thing I don't expect them to share with me what's exactly happened but the rumour mill is on overdrive so it needs addressing with the kids in some way to reassure them that there is nothing to worry about. I just don't want them thinking I'm being difficult or fishing for gossip. I will try and catch his teacher in the morning as I have quite a good relationship with her.

It's definitely being talked about publicly though, someone I work with asked me about it today and apparently it's getting talked about on Facebook with parents (I'm not friends with any though so don't know for sure) I also heard some parents in the shop talking about it. So the kids are clearly going home and telling their parents but I can imagine details getting added/left out etc.

They won't discuss another child with you. Bringing knives into school is not unusual sadly. School will have dealt with it. The police will have been involved too Leave it. I have dealt with two knife bringers this week. It's treated very seriously

Yes I would be speaking to the school about this if I were you. Firstly I'd want to let them know that the rumours are getting out of hand. I would also want to confirm it had been dealt with.

How do they deal with other kids in these situations though Maddy? This is a junior school so 7 to 11 year olds. I've tried telling him there is nothing to worry about but he doesn't believe me.

I don't think it'll do any harm to mention it, perhaps to your son's teacher. It's all very well trying to keep something like this quiet, if that protects the kids directly involved and prevents a panic. But the school needs to know if plan A is failing, and bring out plan B. Sharing what you know and letting them take it from there isn't the same thing as telling them how to do their jobs.

I'd disagree that bringing knives into school isn't unusual. It is certainly not something that happens where I live, although I appreciate it may be different in some areas. OP, I don't blame your DS being concerned. I would be worried if someone brought a knife into a place I was expected to go regularly. I am quite shocked by this from such young children!

Thanks flexibility, I got worried when I read it's not unusual! I know his school has some challenging behaviour but completely surprised at this, especially being a junior school. It's also a small town we are in that although is classed as a deprived area it's pretty safe as far as crime goes so not something you would expect at all.

I think I will definitely say something but not in a judging way, I know they have to respect privacy of children involved but I'm not sure I should ignore the fact that this is something that is worrying my DS. I don't want details, just reassurance that they will keep in mind that the kids are clearly aware something has happened and they are speculating about it. They might not even be aware of the kids talking about looking for said knife at lunchtimes etc.

I would disagree that bringing knives into (Primary) school not being unusual too.
I've only had it happen once in the 20+ years I was teaching, and he was suspended for it. It was very serious, and very unusual.

I work in secondary - it IS unusual

I guess it depends where you teach:)
We call police in , but every case has to be judged individually.
Sanctions range from a perm exclusion or isolation depending on the severity (if someone brings in a knife to butter their crackers it's not the same as threatening to stab someone which is a really really rare occurrence )

There was an incident at our school during parents' evening a couple of years back involving a knife. No one was hurt, but police and an ambulance were called and the place was evacuated. Mostly parents witnessed it, very few children were there.
By the time I'd arrived at school the next morning, if you believed the children: someone was beheaded, the whole hall floor was 1' deep in blood and the armed police had come in and started shooting indescriminately.

I went straight round to the heads office and said that they need to tak to the children and give them the basic truth to stop the rumours, and said what was being said. They took the children straight into assembly before the rumours could go further and told them a very sanitised version involving a parent being taken ill.
Stopped the rumours pretty quickly as once it was out in the open they lost interest and stopped talking about it.